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Strange.........but true........


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#1    Kira

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Posted 23 August 2002 - 09:33 PM

The following are all replies that women have put on the Assessment form of the British child supprt agency...........(and it's all true cos I work for them!) ;D

1) Regarding the identity of the father of my twins. Child A was fathered by******. I am unsure as to the identity of the fayher of child B, but I believe that he was concieved on the same night.

2) I have never had sex with a man. Iam waiting for a letter from the Pope confirming that my son's conception was immaculate, and that he is Christ risen again.

3) I cannot tell you the name of child A's dad as he informs me that to do so would blow his cover. That in turn would have cataclysmic implications fro the British economy. I am torn between doing the right thing and the right thing by my country. Please advise.


4) ****** is the father of my child. If you catch up with him can you ask him what he did with all my AC/DC cd's?

5) I don't know the identity of the father of my daughter. He does drive a BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the door panels. Maybe you could contactthe BMW service stations in this area to see if he's had it replaced.

6) I don't know the identity of the father of my little girl. She was conceived at a party {address & date given} where I had unprotected sex with a man I met there. I do remember that the sex was that good I fainted! If you do manage to track him down can you send me his phone number?

7) I do not know who the father of my child was as all squaddies look the same to me. I can confirm he was a Royal Green Jacket.

8) From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at Euro Disney,so maybe it is really the Magic Kingdom.

9) I am unsure as to identity of the father of my child as I was being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can provide you with a list of names of the men that I think were at the party if that helps?

10) Sop much of that nite is a blur. The only thing I do remember for sure is that Delia Smith did a prog about eggs earlier that evening. If I'd have stayed in and watched more tv rather than going to that party {address given} mine have remained unfertilised.

and the list goes on.......ENJOY! :st

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#2    SpaceyKC

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Posted 23 August 2002 - 09:59 PM

        CW,  I certainly do see  why you get stressed out from that job!!  
         And statement #9,  has got to be the saddest 'too drunk to remember' story I've ever heard!

"Science may have found a cure for most evils;  but it has
         found no remedy for the worst of them all --- the apathy of human beings."
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#3    odinsupreme

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Posted 23 August 2002 - 10:03 PM

:s2 :s2

The second one...  ;D

Odin S. :s9


#4    Magikman

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Posted 24 August 2002 - 07:56 AM

:s2 :s2 :s2  

 Those were hilarious, Celti.

 I just want to add that this was not me;

"I cannot tell you the name of child A's dad as he informs me that to do so would blow his cover. That in turn would have cataclysmic implications fro the British economy. I am torn between doing the right thing and the right thing by my country. Please advise."  :s03

 I don't know anything about secret government agents, really.   8)

:s02

Skeptical scrutiny is the means, in both science and religion, by which deep insights can be winnowed from deep nonsense. ~ Carl Sagan

"...man has an irrepressible tendency to read meaning into the buzzing confusion of sights and sounds impinging on his senses; and where no agreed meaning can be found, he will provide it out of his own imagination." ~ Arthur Koestler

#5    Kira

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Posted 24 August 2002 - 08:22 AM

:o It's not Magik. :s02...............ahh no then it's back to the drawing board :s03

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#6    Halo_Jones

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Posted 24 August 2002 - 12:51 PM

lol Very Funny! ;D
But a sad sign of the times


#7    Althalus

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Posted 25 August 2002 - 01:00 PM

lol, thanks for those Celtic.

Very funny, no. 5 aught to watch what she was doing tho, she must have missed....damaging the poor car.  ;D

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