441 replies to this topic

[Ashigaru]

What are your guys' thoughts on male/female friendships? Do you think they are possible?

I mean close friendships, not just people you get along well with.

Personally I dont think I could do it.

[SS79]

Hey

Yes i think its possible . i have lots of friends but four  best friends one is a guy and we have been friends since i was 7  and im 28 now and i can honestly say in all that time there has never been any problem. Its like having another older brother .

We get on well share the same interests . make each other laugh. He comes by my house sleeps over . watches my kids while i go out with the boyfriend. he comes along on our holidays now and again . He is married with a child of his own . my boyfriend has no problem with it nor does his wife .  Never a problem there so yes it is very possible .

And no we have never so much as loooked at each other in any other way other than being  friends.

My boyfriend has a female friend who he met at college four years ago and there relationship is the same.  i respect that and it doesnt bother me in the slightest .

blessings SS79 x x x

Edited by spiritual_soul79, 06 November 2007 - 10:35 AM.

[Colonel Rhuairidh]

well, I'm male, and (when I have ever had any friends, which isn't all that often, admittedly) i think I've got along better with females, I think.  Though admittedly they've tended not to be the kind who are mainly interested in shopping and gossip about celebrities, and have been more interested in the kind of stuff that I'm interested in, like tanks and things.

Edited by 747400, 06 November 2007 - 10:55 AM.

[gtars]

"What are your guys' thoughts on male/female friendships? Do you think they are possible?"

No, they are not.

[Colonel Rhuairidh]

gtars on Nov 6 2007, 10:47 AM, said:

"What are your guys' thoughts on male/female friendships? Do you think they are possible?"

No, they are not.

I'm sorry to hear that.  *offers hug*

[xCrimsonx]

Yes. Respect and common sence bounderies.  A shoulder to cry on or mate that drinks beer. lol

[questionmark]

Very possible, I have more female than male friends. Understanding that friends does not mean "the same" helps.

[Endlessly]

well my best friend is a guy and ive been friends since i met him in yr 6 were now in yr8.It gets annoying when he has a girl friend cause she will accuse him of cheating..lol.
or when he hangs with his other friends which are guys cause i usualy dont have any one else then..
another of my good friends is also a guy but hes older than me and live in munich...but we get on well fine i can tell him anything and he always understands=)

[Ashigaru]

Atanerpmav on Nov 6 2007, 05:34 AM, said:

Yes. Respect and common sence bounderies.  A shoulder to cry on or mate that drinks beer. lol

Whats the point of trying to become friends with someone if you're going to make boundries with them? Also if you're setting up boundries with them you're obviously not close friends.

I guess it would be possible though if both people made a conscious effort to make sure it never went beyond friends. But I dont think putting that kind of effort into keeping a friend is worth it though.

Edited by Ashigaru, 06 November 2007 - 12:37 PM.

[Mabon]

It's very possible to have a mix of genders as friends. In fact my best friend is a guy.. We've been friends for *coughs* years. Both of us are married to different people and it's no heart burn to either of our spouses that we are friends in fact I introduced him to his wife and am the Godmother of their child. Sure there were comments over the years of people who thought that there was some frisky business going on (Ugh! Kiss my brother *shudders*) and I told them just because they couldn't conceive of or have a relationship between genders that was strictly friends wasn't my problem.

Regards,
Mabon.

[InnerSpace]

747400 on Nov 6 2007, 05:56 AM, said:

I'm sorry to hear that.  *offers hug*

      At least he's being honest.

Of course men and women can be friends...close friends.  I had to laugh when I saw the title, but it's a good topic of discussion.    

What specifically is the OP asking? Can we see past gender?   I've read several POVs here from men who say they couldn't be close friends with  women, without being 'tempted'.  It reminded me of this, lol:



From the movie: When Harry Met Sally


Sally: We are just going to be friends, OK?
Harry: Great, friends. It's the best thing...You realize, of course, that we can never be friends.

Sally: Why not?
Harry: What I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape, or form - is that men and women can't be friends, because the sex part always gets in the way.

Sally: That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
Harry: No, you don't.

Sally: Yes, I do.
Harry: No, you don't.

Sally: Yes, I do.
Harry: You only think you do.

Sally: You're saying I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?
Harry: No, what I'm saying is they all want to have sex with you.

Sally: They do not.
Harry: Do too.

Sally: They do not.
Harry: Do too.

Sally: How do you know?
Harry: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.

Sally: So you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive.
Harry: No, you pretty much want to nail them, too.

Sally: What if they don't want to have sex with you?
Harry: Doesn't matter, because the sex thing is already out there, so the friendship is ultimately doomed, and that is the end of the story.



edit/typo

Edited by Inner Space, 06 November 2007 - 01:08 PM.

[goalienan]

LOL Inner Space....I'm older than dirt, and through the years I have had my share of "guy" friends, and that's just what they were, friends...From high school on, I always seemed to mix better with the males than the females....Now it's a mix of both.  My hubby also has alot of female friends, and neither one of us has ever had any problems with this...Now if jealousy was to have played a part then it would be a different story...But when you trust someone, and have no reason to doubt, then to me it's just fine.

[kenshinx]

sure we can. one of my bestfriend are one of cutest chick in college. we being friend like.. 5 years
we share almost everything.

Quote

they couldn't be close friends with women, without being 'tempted'

yepp.. that is the biggest temptation.

[Tiggs]

That Harry met Sally quote...is closer to the truth than most men will admit.

Guys can be just friends with gals, but only if they have enough willpower. It's harder than it looks.

[Siara]

Inner Space on Nov 6 2007, 12:57 PM, said:

Of course men and women can be friends...close friends.  I had to laugh when I saw the title, but it's a good topic of discussion.    

What specifically is the OP asking? Can we see past gender?   I've read several POVs here from men who say they couldn't be close friends with  women, without being 'tempted'.

The fact the you are tempted OCCASIONALLY doesn't mean you can't be friends.  If you're so sexually attracted that you can barely make sense of what the other person is saying, that's kind of problematic.  Some friendships aren't possible because the sexuality blots everything else out.  But (except maybe when you're very young) that's generally only a few specific people.

I also don't think that sexuality and friendship are mutually exclusive.   I've gotten to be good long term friends with several ex-lovers. I think that when you have a good marriage your spouse is your best friend.  People who've been married 30 years aren't drowning in a sea of sexual passion.  It's the profundity of their friendship that makes it most worthwhile.

What if a person is bisexual?  Does that mean they can't have any friends at all?