Jump to content




Welcome to Unexplained Mysteries! Please sign in or create an account to start posting and to access a host of extra features.


- - - - -

The Laws of Work


  • Please log in to reply
2 replies to this topic

#1    Althalus

Althalus

    Alien Abducter

  • Member
  • 4,909 posts
  • Joined:12 Jan 2002
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:England

Posted 02 September 2002 - 05:09 PM

Just because most of us aren't told the laws, doesn't mean they don't exist. Ignorance of these laws is no excuse.

The first 90% of project takes 90% of the time, the last 10% takes the other 90% of the time.

If you can't get your work done in the first 24 hours, work nights.

A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.

Don't be irreplaceable, if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

It doesn't matter what you do, it only matters what you say you've done and what you're going to do.

After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.

The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.

You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.

Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.

When the bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.

If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a fool about it.

There will always be beer cans rolling on the floor of your car when the boss asks for a ride home from the office.

Keep your boss's boss off your boss's back.

Everything can be filed under "miscellaneous."

Never delay the ending of a meeting or the beginning of a cocktail hour.

To err is human, to forgive is not our policy.

Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he/she is supposed to be doing.

Important letters that contain no errors will develop errors in the mail.

If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.

You are always doing something marginal when the boss drops by your desk.

People who go to conferences are the ones who shouldn't.

If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.

At work, the authority of a person is inversely proportional to the number of pens that person is carrying.

When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.

Following the rules will not get the job done.

Getting the job done is no excuse for not following the rules.

When confronted by a difficult problem you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question, "How would the Lone Ranger handle this?"

No matter how much you do, you never do enough.

The last person that quit or was fired will be held responsible for everything that goes wrong.

"We make choices everyday, some of them good, some of them bad. And - if we are strong enough - we live with the consequences."
David Gemmell

#2    SpaceyKC

SpaceyKC

    Government Agent

  • Member
  • 3,349 posts
  • Joined:06 Mar 2001
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:United States

  • Thank you TO

Posted 02 September 2002 - 05:46 PM

 
QUOTE
the more crap you put up with,  the more crap you are going to get.



       That should be something every parent should teach their children!   ;D

"Science may have found a cure for most evils;  but it has
         found no remedy for the worst of them all --- the apathy of human beings."
                                                     Helen Keller

#3    Kira

Kira

    Government Agent

  • Member
  • 4,183 posts
  • Joined:12 Jan 2002
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Leicester England.

  • Sexiest,
    Prettiest,
    Bloodthirstiest,
    Elf Member of the
    Six Worst Men of the Apfelschnaps.



    Thanks TO xx

Posted 02 September 2002 - 09:08 PM

QUOTE
To err is human, to forgive is not our policy.


;D

or

To err is human to completley f**k it up takes a computer............... ;D

Another good one Al

We do what we do because of who we are. If we did otherwise, we would not be ourselves.




0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users