Alright, so this is the first time I've ever actually posted this anywhere. It's a long read, but the length was needed. Hopefully there aren't too many mistakes or anything.
I've lurked on these forums a while, trying to get different perspectives on the matter. I consider myself a logical and educated person, but I can't come to conclusions on my own. I am looking for opinions and ideas about this, preferably with some basis behind it. Keep an open mind, please, go through the whole thing.
I have tried contacting several self-professed 'experts' on the subject matter here, but if you have any others to suggest, please let me know.
OK, here goes.
Alright, now this is going to be a pretty hard read for anyone remotely skeptic. I'm a skeptic and atheist myself but the coincidences in this are annoyingly uncanny, and though this may mean little to anyone with experience with truly delusional persons, it feels as real as it does now as I type this.
It started about 6 years ago now, I guess. I knew nothing about aliens - flying saucers and bug-eyed little humanoids, ET, the Alien movies, that about summed it up. One night in the summertime I had a very vivid lucid dream in which I was in some kind of ship. A lot of the things I'm saying were innate knowledge to me in the dream, and some of it was "told" to me; I'll specify which. Innately, I knew it was a spaceship, a base ship from which a certain organization within my species (a non-human extraterrestrial species) operated. I knew my way around, and found myself in front of a creature that could only be described as draconic (I'll include a detailed description later). Again, I knew that this was my superior. "It" (genderless) was not the only thing in the room; there were similar individuals, all distinctive in their own way, some with wings and some that looked like they didn't have them, (later on I learned that when the wings are folded up tightly they don't look like wings at all) and with varying colors - shades of green and black. I looked the same way, and in my mind I knew what I looked like. Anyways, I donít remember the exact wording but essentially I was told that "we" were originally from a star having to do with "Draco", and that I was an infiltrator, my "mind" (consciousness, being, self) put into a human body grown and implanted by them in order to learn about human society from the inside for the purpose of research and creating some kind of species archive. Earth-generated species need to profiled completely and added to the database, and any potential benefits to our race need to be assessed. Apparently you can only learn so much from the outside, and the human intelligence is extremely foreign to the point where translators were needed to convert certain things into a form understandable to us (likewise, I find it difficult to relate to others how the aliens "feel"). That was where we came in.
The "dreams" were to occur at night from now on; somehow the conscious aspect of me is transferred into my original body for briefings and reports and the occasional excursion in which my help might be needed. If I am conscious in one form, I can't be conscious in the other. I have no clue exactly how this happens, but I know essentially my brain is shut down to the point where the consciousness or whatever it is returns to my original body (my "alien" body), which happens automatically, though it takes an effort on my part to return. (In this world, I couldn't tell you how a TV works for the life of me. Likewise, my ďalienĒ self can't explain a lot of the technology, though I think this is more biological). No two "consciousness" things can inhabit one body. A consciousness can only jump from the original body to ones made custom for it, and it will always end up in the original body unless prompted otherwise. When the original body dies, the consciousness ceases to exist, even if it is in another body, but in contrast, if a host body dies, the consciousness returns to the original form. That all sounds nuts, but it's the best I can do to explain it. Weíd been using this technology for ages now, on different planets; the big problem was creating human bodies, which we had to do essentially from scratch because clones are ineffective and you canít implant into an already-created person. We definitely weren't successful at first - I'm not sure if you know what Black Eyed Kids/People are, but these are apparently our doing, which is funny because it spun off a whole new branch of "paranormal" sightings. The eyes were because we wanted some of our vision enhancements, and the horrible social skills and off-putting behaviour because we just didn't know how to act. It takes a lot to fool people. That kind of goes to show just how hard it is for us to grasp social interaction and family life and all that. (I actually just discovered BEKs under that name recently but they matched exactly with what were talked about in this dream as failures and experiments with new modelsĒ of infiltrator bodies) The seemingly only solution was slow but more effective: being born into a human family in as human a form as possible. There's nothing special about me except that my perceptions and intelligence aren't at the average level, or so I'm told, the former from the "consciousness" and the latter either a side effect of this or a natural aspect of my genes. Apparently when I had this first dream I was now old enough to be able to process this information and start doing my job, so to speak. I had to pick some kind of profession that would give me access to some aspect of humanity to be archived. I was dismissed and returned to my human host-body.
Needless to say, I woke up a little unnerved, and it felt so real that I wrote everything I learned in a crappy journal I'd had hanging around. I've never been good at journal writing but I got the gist of it down.
I'd kind of forgotten about it, going on with school and such, but then it happened again and again and again. Now, I don't remember much about the order of the rest of the dreams or their exact content; they're just like any other memory in my mind from that time. It was mainly the same thing, where I went into the ship and I made my report, which was recorded and filed away. Mostly at this point it was about social interactions - how I felt at times, how I perceived other people as feeling, exactly what happened and how it transcribed, voice impressions of different emotions, that kind of thing. They'd also ask about things I was learning in school, basic accounts of human history and their views on how things work science-wise and religion (they already knew about religion but it's something completely unimaginable to them - as in, they can only take it as face value, but can't understand faith or hope or anything like that. Because of this our opinions of humans had gone even lower than before, as the core of our society is knowledge and conquering and love of the self (the self being the species)). Psychology interested them in particular; itís not that we don't assess our own minds, it's just that it's very innate. We not only project sounds, but our language is very bare bones - word arrangement - and supplemented by the projection of images, feelings, and emphases, not telepathy but a kind of aura that is able to be felt by anyone who is within range. Again, I'm not sure about the nature of this projection but it's waves, not particles, and I'm pretty sure humans can't really pick it up because they lack the proper receptors. Therefore, we know why we do things, and we don't need to study it. Humans are very opposite to this.
There were also dreams in which I wouldn't just report but would perform some service on another planet or on a portion of this planet but in my natural form. I remember the first one, at first I thought I was parachuting from a plane but in reality I'd leapt from a craft and instinctively spread my wings, and I panicked because at this point I was obviously used to not being able to fly, and that being high above the ground with nothing under you is a bad thing when you're a human. That was the first sign, I guess, of things going awry with my model, since for split second being in my "own" body felt unnatural. Another mission was the testing of a new exoskeleton, kind of like a really hyped-up body armor with built-in weapons, very classic sci-fi but apparently real.
After a while of this going on, essentially every night, I began to think it a bit strange, so I told it as best I could to my friend. She's the same way as me; skeptic, atheist, not many illusions about life. She took it the same way I did, from an objective point of view, but we weren't very knowledgeable at the time and didn't think to look anything up on the Internet (neither of us really went on the Internet at the time anyways) so we came to the conclusion that maybe I was manifesting some kind of underlying psychological issue, but we were both a little freaked that we couldn't come to any firm conclusion.
This is pretty predictable, but that night in the dream I got a stern reminder about confidentiality and the impending termination if I spread anything around. I had to keep life as normal as possible given the situations, and telling people I was some kind of alien or something. OK, so it spooked me, but I figured that if my mind was making it up, it would obviously incorporate my daily experiences like it had been.
So it continued, and several months of it going on made me wonder if there was something to it. I didnít really believe it, but I went to an Internet search and put in "Draco alien" or "reptile alien" or something of the sort, I'm sorry, I don't remember exactly what. I was surprised; there was actually a ton of results. So I started clicking around, and was more than a little worried to find that there was a particular alien type like that with so many similarities. Uncanny similarities; draconic, bipedal, "lizard men", within the size range, with the right colors, with very few discrepancies. I saved the pages (copied and pasted into a word document) and printed them out to show to my friend. I still have the file, with the things that stood out to me bolded. I also have a screen cap with the original file's date still on it. The only major discrepancies (different from what I know from the dreams as opposed to being something I have no recollection of) are the lack of protruding jaws/a snout (though one mentions a snout-like structure or something like that) and the eyes (see the description from my journal).
Reading this information gave me some god-awful chills, and my friend was a bit spooked too, though she was as always logical about it. I'd never seen this information before anywhere though, and indeed can't think of any way I would have come across it, so that was never an issue. We debated it for hours, her questioning me more about the "aliens" and us theorizing about anything it could possibly be.
I'm going to have to be honest and say that I don't remember at this point in time exactly how long it was between then and the next major memory. Needless to say, my "superiors" had become pretty peeved with me at this point, apparently because my human mindset was overcoming my "real" one. This was also becoming clear with what I reported and how I reported it. When talks of the final plans for finishing up research and getting on with (I really hesitate to say this, makes me sound like a bigger nutjob) taking over Earth and getting rid of its present lifeforms, I was remembering and translating my human feelings on the subject. Eventually, I came in one day and managed to present an "us" version of a BS story to push the date back, explaining things like aging and such, which I would not have time to do (we donít have aging the same as humans do; once you hit maturity thereíre no notable stages of development). The date was moved from 2012 (I've since learned that that is a very significant day in a lot of ancient calendars, and I'm not sure if we picked it for that reason or if it's just a coincidence) to about 2025. The truth was, the dream world and my human mind weren't as separate anymore (I had spent so much time in the human mindset, and translating it in the "alien" form that it was kind of leaking over into the alien form), and I was finding it harder to maintain my reports from a non-human standpoint.
Since I saw these as simply continuous dreams still, I reported all of this to my friend.
Essentially my last clear memory was them saying that they didn't want me to self-terminate (or be terminated) at this point so they'd let it go, as I was young enough for it to be passed off as a kid's imagination (who would believe a teenager?). There was also the fact that they hadn't had anyone in my particular host-strain reach over the age of 18 yet (all I know is that they've terminated, I'm not sure if this was their choice or that of our superiors, I'm not allowed to be in the know about that at this stage), and I'd gone rather far, plus my host-body was proving to effectively fit into human society. Because of this potential, they severed my conscious memories; I can no longer remember any content from the dreams, only that I've had them. On occasion I will wake up and remember something fleeting, but no more than a snippet. I have no idea how they did this either.
I still have the dreams, this I know. One thing I always felt after waking up was a weird feeling in my back that I can only assume is my wings, a remnant memory from the dreams of extra muscles that should be there, but aren't. It actually gets to be a fairly intense feeling at times, as though I SHOULD have moving appendages there, and the muscles I'm flexing should work in tandem with them. It kind of reminds me of phantom limb syndrome, where you can really FEEL the limb there, even though it isn't, but you would swear it was if your eyes didn't tell you otherwise. They donít seem to happen as often now, going off what I can, but I still get them. I just wish I could remember them.
Mid-October of 2007, I came across some paranormal/alien-type sites, and for the first time in 5 years I got that sinking chill that something was definitely not right as I read through. After putting it out of my mind for so long, here was everything coming back, and so many things just clicked into place. There was mention of different types of reptoids/reptilians/Draconians, which brought back thoughts of the various attempts at creating a suitable human disguise in which to gather information.
Now, I give you this account of my experience from the view of a skeptic, meaning that since I have no physical proof that this was, in fact, some abstract alien encounter, I can't bring myself to believe it, but it does intrigue me greatly. The coincidences are often uncanny, especially from the mind of a young teen with no previous knowledge of these things, and it's true that the connections are kind of freaky.
OK, now a description- this is from my journal, mostly recorded right after the very first dream. I'm not sure how reliable some of the information is though, given that it had to go through my self-of-6-years-ago's mind. This is the natural alien form and their origins as was seen in the dreams. I have tried to create rough sketches but I'm not a very good artist, though I've managed to get a few fairly accurate ones for my ability.
History/Origin - Quick evolution, eliminating all other mobile species on the home planet as time and technology progressed. Only microorganisms and large tree-like entities remain (these apparently aid decomposition, produce essential atmospheric elements, and are able to provide for themselves). Planet's name is unpronounceable in a human tongue, planet is in the constellation/arrangement/something "Dragon/Draco". The sky is always clouded, and the clouds glow a reddish color in the daytime, and turn grey when there is precipitation. It's generally hot and dry planet-wide (think sauna). Fairly flat, with plateaus covered by the tree things. The journal says we've been here 300 years, I don't know if that's 300 Earth years though.
Height - ~8-12 feet
Mass - ~180-300lbs (on Earth?)
Body: Lean, muscular, no soft spots. Two wings, two long arms, two legs, three fingers + three toes on each hand/foot, one opposable thumb on each hand as well. Covered in a layer of something that acts as our skin, harder than enamel and similar to shark skin but highly flexible/stretchable.
Weaponry: Long claws on wings, hands, and feet, sharp teeth, sharp ridge on back, spear-like tip on tail. Forearm scythes are mentioned but I don't know if these are natural or not.
Color: Usually a grass green, can be darker/lighter with lime bits. Eyes are silver fading into black and altering, "eyes turn orange in darkness and use heat to see".
Senses: Excellent hearing (long, pointed ears), scent (large olfactory detectors, reason for long snout), no taste, inside of mouth is also scent receptors), sight (somewhat less sharp than a human's, eyes are VERY multipurpose), touch (numb, as skin-like covering doesn't have receptors for soft/hard etc, but electrical currents and vibration-detecting senses make up for it), some kind of thing that allows us to pick up the "telepathic" communications.
Eyes: Almost 360 degree vision, some of this is peripheral though, and only detects movement. Eyes can follow the bend and refraction of light to get third-person views and look around corners. They can also hyperfocus and give microscopic views of a scene. Eyes can detect a greater range than humans, at least leaning into infrared for vision at night.
Communication: Hissing, grumbling speech. Rudimentary words, no grammar as humans know it. Accompanied by communication that is kind of like telepathy, sending pictures and concepts rather than direct words, so you get an idea of something. No synonyms, use emphasis. So instead of saying huge, gigantic, enormous, massive, you'll get "big" with varying amounts of emphasis. "She is huge" becomes the concept of that individual being a certain degree of large in size.
Reproduction: External, no genders, gametes are all the same. Often done purely technologically nowadays, and though genetic perfection is the norm from natural selection, all developing beings are monitored closely.
This is rather loosely written, basically if something is stated as fact it is fact as I know it through the dreams, or fact in that dream world. I really don't know what to make of this; all I know it's that it's kind of shaken me up at times, and I'm not someone to whom that comes lightly. I hadn't even realized that it had been 6 years without stop until I came across some websites on this kind of topic, and I'm now old enough to really look into it and actively get some answers. And I realize how crazy it all sounds, but I donít really know what I can say to that. I've never heard of recurring, sequential dreams lasting like this, so at this point I'm becoming more open-minded concerning something a little offbeat. After all, people wouldn't have believed creatures like dinosaurs if there wasn't fossil evidence, but that wouldn't mean they weren't real. As for referring me to psychological therapy, I donít have the time or resources, and it would definitely interfere with my schooling. As it is, this does not interfere with daily life and does not prevent me from doing what I want and progressing with my life. It's just a constant little nagging presence that usually needs some trigger to come to the surface. I am certainly open to the idea, but from my understanding of psychological problems, this counts as far less than a phobia and not much more than any memory of a significant event.
If you have any questions, anything at all, I will do my very best to answer. When I was younger I presented the idea (albeit a kid's barebones account) on sciforums.com, and they were very patient and accepting with me, and I'm hoping you guys can show the same courtesy. If you want to talk in private, I'm definitely willing to do so, whatever your perspective is. Keep in mind that there is no "believing" me - I have no stance on this matter, and if you think I'm outright lying, feel free to express yourself, and then figure out a reason why I would spend hours typing this up. I'd definitely agree with you if the coincidences involved my exposure to such ideas BEFORE the dreams occurred, but since I only found them when I went hunting for them, I've either got a very uncanny subconscious or something's fishy.
Edited by 0, 19 January 2008 - 07:29 AM.