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My Jehovah Witness Encounter


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#1    DreamRebel

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Posted 13 March 2004 - 12:23 AM

[Edit] Post removed

Edited by SaRuMaN, 08 April 2004 - 01:17 PM.


#2    <bleeding_heart>

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Posted 13 March 2004 - 12:25 AM

She's trying to scare you into converting!

Tell her your Salvation Army apparently they hate each other!

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#3    DC09

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Posted 13 March 2004 - 12:34 AM

QUOTE (DreamRebel @ Mar 12 2004, 07:23 PM)
If that doesn't work I was thinking about setting the Watchtower brochures aflame in front of her face.


That might do it.  laugh.gif
Gotta remember that one...  wink2.gif  


#4    Naveed

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Posted 13 March 2004 - 01:18 AM

If you're a metal head you can blare that stuff as loud as you can any time you see her in the neighborhood.  devil.gif  whistling2.gif  devil.gif \m/


#5    PsychicPenguin

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Posted 13 March 2004 - 03:40 AM

Go get an automated weapon, dress in dessert robe, and shout "Allah be praised!" ... fire several rounds to the air for effect, then ask "So... are you coming here to join us?"


#6    <bleeding_heart>

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Posted 13 March 2004 - 03:47 AM

Next time she calls invite her in she'll be that shocked she wont know where to put herself. If she does come in start to dress up like the gimp from pulp fiction while generally chatting away ask her to do up the last zip for you. Is she's still there crack a whip a few times.

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#7    SilverCougar

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Posted 13 March 2004 - 03:51 AM

ROFL!  Dear lords...  I'm suprised that never happened to me when I ansered the door with my costume cloak, cat in one hand, mouse in the other and asking them if they wanted to stay for my weekly sacrifice! (which was.. cheerios to the mouse and tuna water for the cat... hehe)  Damn never seen them with wider eyes and scrambling to leave!

Needless to say, they've never been back!

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#8    Talon

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Posted 13 March 2004 - 04:04 AM

QUOTE
Go get an automated weapon, dress in dessert robe, and shout "Allah be praised!" ... fire several rounds to the air for effect, then ask "So... are you coming here to join us?"


LOL That would do it  grin2.gif

Actually I once had Jevoha's witnesses at the door ages ago, I said I was athiest and not interested, and then they said something about the end comming and we all had tobe prepared and waved a booklet with a pic of a fireman at me. And then when after a minute they hadn't made any headway with me they asked to see the other members of my family.... I think my response was "Sorry they don't beleive in that kinda rubbish either sorry, goodbye" and closed the door.

... i only realised what I said after... I didn't mean to sound rude, it was just so annoying. However, the moral of the story is they never came back  thumbsup.gif  

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#9    PsychicPenguin

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Posted 13 March 2004 - 04:19 AM

OK.. i found a solution... what you need to do is print this out

http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0026/0026_01.asp

Warning: it comes from Chick publication, a very unintelligent christian evangelist... but i guess it should be good enough for a JW tongue.gif


#10    crosswarrior

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Posted 14 March 2004 - 01:07 AM

    It such a wonderful thing when your prey comes to you. I have had many encounters with the Jehovah Witness, and frankley I enjoy every one of them; because I just start my own preaching at them. Yoe see unlike most people I hold to no denomination, I have been a member of many different denominations and have learned what I could about them, but the closest I come in my beliefs would be an Evangelical Catholic. They don't quite know how to handle that and they generally hurry away while muttering how concerned they are about my salvation; they are usually almost as concerned about as the hard core Baptist.

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#11    DrStrangelove

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Posted 14 March 2004 - 01:18 AM

This is what you should do:

Make some fake cult thing (example: Order of the Bloodlust) and try and convert her. Hehehehe. Alot of effort but it would be worth it. The point of it is to freak her out. She was Haitian? Wow, good thing she isn't in Haiti right now. They should'nt of rededicated the Island to Satan last summer.

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#12    Seraphina

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Posted 14 March 2004 - 01:21 AM

QUOTE
Can you guys give me you input? It seemed kinda wierd to me.


That depends...are you looking for a serious solution, or a sarcastic line to deliver to her? huh.gif Living near Glasgow, I have had a wealth of encounters with a group of people who belong to a group known as "Gouranga" (those of you who have played the origonal Grand Theft Auto may remember running them over). Dealing with these people has left me very well armed when encountered by cultists in the street.

On the other hand, if you're looking for a serious solution, telling security isn't a bad idea, she sounds seriously warped, and to be honest, sounds like she's stalking you too. There's no telling how far things might escalate if you just let it go.


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#13    doomgirl

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Posted 14 March 2004 - 01:27 AM

Pentagram hanging over my front door seems to keep them away whistling2.gif

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#14    ExUs101

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Posted 14 March 2004 - 06:44 AM

   I know what its like to be bugged by jehova witness's. Some times when i ditch school a jehova witness comes to my house and starts tapping on the gate with like a penny or something and man that annoys the hell outta me, I'm already freakin out that it could be someone i know and that they will rat me out. I'm in bed trying to get some sleeping.gif . I have a dog but he's only 6 months and he doesn't bark at them. thumbdown.gif. Hopefully some day all this freakin madness will end and i'll finally get to ditch school in peace. thumbsup.gif  


#15    Potholer

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Posted 14 March 2004 - 07:42 AM

Here we go -

Ways to get rid of Jehovahs Witness:

When they ask, "Can I talk to you about God?" Reply, "Sure, what would you like to know?"  

  Answer the door with a bloody knife and say, "I'm sorry, could you come back in a half hour? We're not done with the virgin yet."

  Answer the door with an automatic weapon and say 'Allah be Praised!

  Ask them for their address. When they ask why you want it, claim that you want to appear on their doorstop univited so that you can peddle your own beliefs.

  Look smug and tell them that your God can beat up their God.  

  Tell them you already have your own religion. When they ask what it is, wince a little before confessing, "er, I'm not sure if it's legal in this country

  A chalk outline of a human body on the pavement, and a few copies of "The Watchtower" scattered around...

  Answer every one of their questions with "What do you mean by that?" This might take a while, but you and your loved ones can have fun placing bets on how long it takes for them to leave.

  Ask them to explain the story of Elisha and the Forty-two children.  

  Invite them in to see your fine collection of dinosaur fossils.


Hows that? You are probably looking for useful tips and advice but, How could I resist?


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