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My Jehovah Witness Encounter


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#16    Dowdy

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Posted 14 March 2004 - 07:43 AM

Do what my friend did to get rid of Jehovah's...


One day they came over his house and here is how they're meeting went


"You got anything better to do?!"
"No"
"Well, piss off anyways!!"

nice and short and the Jehovah's never came back and that was a year ago

THE PAOMNNEHAL PWEOR OF THE HMUAN MNID Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdgnieg. Can you? ;)

#17    PsychicPenguin

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Posted 14 March 2004 - 08:09 AM

QUOTE
A chalk outline of a human body on the pavement, and a few copies of "The Watchtower" scattered around...


laugh.gif  laugh.gif  laugh.gif  laugh.gif

That's my favorite...  


#18    Thistle

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Posted 14 March 2004 - 11:04 AM

QUOTE (Potholer @ Mar 14 2004, 07:42 AM)


  Answer the door with a bloody knife and say, "I'm sorry, could you come back in a half hour? We're not done with the virgin yet."


  laugh.gif  laugh.gif  laugh.gif

lmao, I had them at my door only 2 days ago, they took one look at my dog baring his teeth and vanished !!!!!!! ................shame really, he only wanted to say hello  whistling2.gif

But, this woman sounds like a complete fruitcake......I'd call security too


#19    wunarmdscissor

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Posted 14 March 2004 - 05:52 PM

Just dont answer the door to them....

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'MON the tic an tiocfaidh ar-la


saorsa na h-alba

#20    babyforrest

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Posted 14 March 2004 - 06:38 PM

My friend's younger sister saw them coming one time and quickly changed into the most revealing outfit she had.

This other guy I used to go to school with would take off all his clothes to answer the door to them. grin2.gif  

Let's rock this joint!

#21    man_in_mudboots

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Posted 14 March 2004 - 11:27 PM

once upon a time i had a mean chicken, and boy i tell you this was the most bad-assed chicken on earth. i still have scars from his bites and scratches. i loved him, but he could have been a little sweeter, especially to his owner. seven years ago we found out he had a sweet tooth for zealous religious orders. the witnesses pulled up and started to get out. instantly, the chicken slammed into the one at the wheel. he was guilty of over-kill, however, and landed in the mans lap, which surly was very painful considering the chickens strength and anger. the idiots opened the doors and tried to get up but had forgotten their seat belts were still on. the chicken jumped on the second guy in the car and begin to scratch his eyes out. the third guy jumped out the car and shut the door. the chicken was flying everywhere, bouncing off the windshield, scratching the witnesses, and getting feathers everywhere until both the morons secced in getting off their seatbelts, opening the door, and getting out. they slam the doors shut while the chicken is still in there. we where watching theis whole scene, not doing anything to stop it really. we tell them to get sticks (because the chicken fears them) leave the doors open until he jumps out, and then they go and stand on top the picnic tables since they were scared of him (not that he couldnt fly up there, though, but they didnt realize that). he does finally leave, but there is chicken crap, feathers, and blood (of the humans) all inside their car.


a jehovah witness didnt come back for five years.


then one day, one showed up. he asked us if that chicken was still there. we said yes, even though he had died two years earlier, and he left in a big hurry. we have never had one visit since.

Edited by man_in_mudboots, 14 March 2004 - 11:32 PM.


#22    final flight

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Posted 14 March 2004 - 11:46 PM

Get a samurai sword, give her some crap about offending your honor and chase her down the street. grin2.gif  

Posted Image
You Might Be Canadian If...

-You know that the Royal Canadian Mounted Police (RCMP) don't always look like that.
-You can eat more than one maple sugar candy without feeling nauseous.
-You think -10 C is mild weather.
-You know the ingredients for poutine.  
-You die a little inside if you can't get your Tim's double-double every morning.  
-You know the difference between real snow and "television" snow -- the white stuff that passes for snow on tv and in films. You scream, "For Christsake! That should be sticking to their pants!" and "Lookit, it's not melting! That's *so* not snow!" when watching 'Winter' scenes.
-You understand the phrase "Could you pass me a serviette, I just dropped my poutine, on the chesterfield."

#23    Kismit

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Posted 15 March 2004 - 12:58 AM

I'm gonna get me one of them attack chickens MiM  grin2.gif

As for the reason for the thread . Call security, Jehovas witness arn't generally symbol drwers and alike . This woman has serious issuse ..



And just becasue I can't help myself .
A Chrsitian a Budhist and an Agnostic are all chatting with St. Peter on the day of there deaths . St.Peter takes them each one at a time to there respective rooms. Each one being told to pass quietly by door number 4 . 'You mustn't make even a sound ' says good old St.Pete . Finally the Agnostic feels obliged to ask "Why do we have to be so quiet outside room number 4 ?  The Reply.......



There the Jehovas Witness and they think there the only ones here ...Shhhhhh!!!  




#24    Babs

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Posted 15 March 2004 - 05:10 AM

Drawing symbols and crosses...that's weird, wittnesses don't do that, that I know of. ph34r.gif
You are right to be concerned. disgust.gif  

Edited by Babs, 15 March 2004 - 05:12 AM.

"The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation"

Henry David Thoreau...

#25    Xenojjin

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Posted 15 March 2004 - 06:07 AM

Question :

If I were to make in invention that involved a metal plate that looks like a doormat
....

...which delivers a quick and painfull , yet non lethal electrical shock to whosoever is standing on it when a button is pressed from inside the house...

...would anyone buy it ?  original.gif  

In the way, the supernatural is what's behind the curtain. Normally, you only need to see what's happening in stage. That's how reality works. If you don't know then it's for the best. Actually, learning about the supernatural only increases the number of things you don't know.

Posted Image


#26    PsychicPenguin

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Posted 15 March 2004 - 02:56 PM

QUOTE (Xenojjin @ Mar 15 2004, 06:07 AM)
Question :

If I were to make in invention that involved a metal plate that looks like a doormat
....

...which delivers a quick and painfull , yet non lethal electrical shock to whosoever is standing on it when a button is pressed from inside the house...

...would anyone buy it ?  original.gif

No.. I have a better idea... what about...

a speaker hanged high (but hidden.. let's say on a tree)... that deliver a message from above:

"behold my child, I'm the Jehovah, your God, the God of David, Isaac, and Abraham. The person live here is a holy man ... thou shalt not bother him anymore ..."


#27    HumberWitch

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Posted 15 March 2004 - 04:47 PM

As a child I had a very zealous Sunday School teacher who was also a REAL hippy.
She told us "to put a fresh angle on our renditions, man"....so I (being a naughty, mischeveous 9 year old), decided the best "new angle" I could think of was backwards.....I got slung out of Sunday school! wacko.gif

Why do I mention this....it STILL comes in handy...JW's are sh*t scared when I start my rendition...not sure why! whistling2.gif  

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#28    Phantom

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Posted 15 March 2004 - 06:51 PM

Please keep in mind that should we talk about muslims, roman catholics or hindus this way, the board would explode. I hereby ask for equal respect.

Thank you for that. thumbsup.gif

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#29    Babs

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Posted 15 March 2004 - 07:28 PM

I agree. I worry about saying anything bad about the witnesses or any religious group, it could come back on me. sad.gif  I just don't like putting others down like that, either. But  I can see where this is coming from... muslims, roman catholics or hindus don't go 'door to door'. original.gif

Edited by Babs, 15 March 2004 - 07:29 PM.

"The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation"

Henry David Thoreau...

#30    DreamRebel

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Posted 15 March 2004 - 07:33 PM

[Edit] Post removed





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