"The one thing we have learnt from history is that we learn nothing from history." Albert Einstein
Posted 14 March 2004 - 07:43 AM
Do what my friend did to get rid of Jehovah's...
One day they came over his house and here is how they're meeting went
"You got anything better to do?!" "No" "Well, piss off anyways!!"
nice and short and the Jehovah's never came back and that was a year ago
THE PAOMNNEHAL PWEOR OF THE HMUAN MNID Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdgnieg. Can you? ;)
once upon a time i had a mean chicken, and boy i tell you this was the most bad-assed chicken on earth. i still have scars from his bites and scratches. i loved him, but he could have been a little sweeter, especially to his owner. seven years ago we found out he had a sweet tooth for zealous religious orders. the witnesses pulled up and started to get out. instantly, the chicken slammed into the one at the wheel. he was guilty of over-kill, however, and landed in the mans lap, which surly was very painful considering the chickens strength and anger. the idiots opened the doors and tried to get up but had forgotten their seat belts were still on. the chicken jumped on the second guy in the car and begin to scratch his eyes out. the third guy jumped out the car and shut the door. the chicken was flying everywhere, bouncing off the windshield, scratching the witnesses, and getting feathers everywhere until both the morons secced in getting off their seatbelts, opening the door, and getting out. they slam the doors shut while the chicken is still in there. we where watching theis whole scene, not doing anything to stop it really. we tell them to get sticks (because the chicken fears them) leave the doors open until he jumps out, and then they go and stand on top the picnic tables since they were scared of him (not that he couldnt fly up there, though, but they didnt realize that). he does finally leave, but there is chicken crap, feathers, and blood (of the humans) all inside their car.
a jehovah witness didnt come back for five years.
then one day, one showed up. he asked us if that chicken was still there. we said yes, even though he had died two years earlier, and he left in a big hurry. we have never had one visit since.
Edited by man_in_mudboots, 14 March 2004 - 11:32 PM.
Get a samurai sword, give her some crap about offending your honor and chase her down the street.
You Might Be Canadian If...
-You know that the Royal Canadian Mounted Police (RCMP) don't always look like that.
-You can eat more than one maple sugar candy without feeling nauseous.
-You think -10 C is mild weather.
-You know the ingredients for poutine.
-You die a little inside if you can't get your Tim's double-double every morning.
-You know the difference between real snow and "television" snow -- the white stuff that passes for snow on tv and in films. You scream, "For Christsake! That should be sticking to their pants!" and "Lookit, it's not melting! That's *so* not snow!" when watching 'Winter' scenes.
-You understand the phrase "Could you pass me a serviette, I just dropped my poutine, on the chesterfield."
As for the reason for the thread . Call security, Jehovas witness arn't generally symbol drwers and alike . This woman has serious issuse ..
And just becasue I can't help myself . A Chrsitian a Budhist and an Agnostic are all chatting with St. Peter on the day of there deaths . St.Peter takes them each one at a time to there respective rooms. Each one being told to pass quietly by door number 4 . 'You mustn't make even a sound ' says good old St.Pete . Finally the Agnostic feels obliged to ask "Why do we have to be so quiet outside room number 4 ? The Reply.......
There the Jehovas Witness and they think there the only ones here ...Shhhhhh!!!
As a child I had a very zealous Sunday School teacher who was also a REAL hippy. She told us "to put a fresh angle on our renditions, man"....so I (being a naughty, mischeveous 9 year old), decided the best "new angle" I could think of was backwards.....I got slung out of Sunday school!
Why do I mention this....it STILL comes in handy...JW's are sh*t scared when I start my rendition...not sure why!
Live simply that others may simply live.
Fighting for peace is like copulating for virginity!
"Truth will first be ridiculed, then violently opposed, and finally accepted as self-evident" A. Schopenhauer 1788-1860
Posted 15 March 2004 - 07:28 PM
I agree. I worry about saying anything bad about the witnesses or any religious group, it could come back on me. I just don't like putting others down like that, either. But I can see where this is coming from... muslims, roman catholics or hindus don't go 'door to door'.