Meiliken on Apr 4 2009, 05:05 AM, said:
this is true, but I am unsure if you guys totally understand what I mean.
My brain is different now... Meditation has changed me to be too open to weirdness, and right now I would like to be a little bit more average.
After that time that my body said "Hi God." beyond my control, and energy shot up my spine, my nerves, and brain chemistry were very much altered.
Now I would need to be even stonger to be able to handle the insane amount of energy I can conjure, but not quite control.
There is a bridge in meditation I need to cross to gain such control, but before I get there, I will be left open defenseless to my own mind and other energies... I need to focus on other things right now, and death is the last thing I am afraid of...
When I meditate sometimes I get close to that unconscious state, but I keep the "I" there. God is in man, and man is in god. I am getting closer, and yet I am so much farther than I thought I was.
I even drew a picture to symbolize this. It was a snake that is eating it's tale, which I mean to represent the cycle that we are in. The snake has two midpoints that are discolored representing the unconscious points between the positive and negative halves of the circle/snake/cycle. Around the snake are 4 elements in balance: Fire, Water, Air, Earth. On the inside of the snake, THROUGH, either unconscious point you arive at the 5th element the akasha. This is representing self/god. The picture is called Eternal Escape. Mabey I'll post it some time.
You can't really find self, because you already have it. You can only remember self as you are.
Well really I was still stuck on my bed, and I was projecting a tiny minute little piece of my consciousness. It was so weak that I kept warping back, and could hardly see. When I realized this I was in despair. I was panicked as hell. I waited a few seconds built up the idea in my head that I was going to use all my force in one moment and brake this weird state I was stuck in. This did not work.
Now I was projecting some part of me again. I could see myself still stuck on my bed, half way through my turn to get comfy. On my wall there was a movie playing. It had words that would repeat...
Those words said:
What game are they playing?
and who's playing it?
they kept appearing one then the other, and sped up till I could no longer see it.
Then I had no energy left and I was back in my body fully. I gave up, I gave in...
30 minutes later I was finally "let go"
Then I freaked out and snapped out of it. That is when I looked at the clock and an hour had gone by. I got up and noticed my head and my arms were heavier than they should be or my mucsles were very weak. I rested for a bit and now im back to normal. I must say it was one of my more freaky experiences.
As far as TVs go I havent watched TV in about 6 months. I cant stand to anymore. That high pitched sound you guys are all talking about when you have the TV muted really really gets to me. I can tell if any TVs in the entire house are on. And I go around turning em off hehe... Radios too. Radios don't bother me though.
I have had sleep paralysis around 15 times now. 13 "normal" ones, the one above, and one other that I don't want to remember in any great detail.
You travel towards blankness with the will. (passively)
Just become a passive observer. (you will find yourself observing less and less and then nothing. It kind of feels like being really small)
I don't know how to explain it other than almost non-existance. And I think Ai guardian had it right when he said being a little spark or consciousness surrounded by darkness. Not sight darkness, but everything darkness.
I am such an insomniac, that I have known many subleties while falling asleep and waking up. I have learned how to delve deeper than the surface. EX. I can dream while holding myself conscious, barely conscious lol grin2.gif(you feel your body, but it seems lightyears away) I can then go all the way in and guess what... The dream continues with no interuption. This is one way to have a dream that you want to have. Of course once your in there you are at the mercy of the subconscious, but you can have what you want for a little while anyway. I am not lucid usually when I do this to clarify that.
^^I find that harder than getting a blank state and staying awake. But it is not like "I" am trying to stay awake, that would be a thought once again.
I have intent before the fact that carrys over without any thought from me.
I definately agree with what you said, but that can go both ways or all ways to be more correct. Whatever you focus on becomes more real to you. it's knowing your own personal psychology/weakneses that can prevent you from making such mistakes.
I have experienced some weird hallucinations myself. I don't usually get voices though. Recently I got this "warping sound" some pulsing sound that crecendos very loud, and it sounds like you are moving through a tunnel, that is atleast what I imagined when it happened.
When you get in deep inside the mind weird, no very weird things can happen. Anything can happen. The more I explore the bigger my mind seems to be.
Bella I really did want to know your answer about the subconscious, I have limited knowledge about it. How can my body control itself with me sitting right there inside it, but not being able to move?. It moved and even said things.
I was wondering, could my subconscious control my body, especially when I was there?
and if not, what do you think happened?
you can also "hear" other peoples buzzing if you know how to alter your consciousness a little. Again focus on the buzzing and make it higher pitched. You can then sense where other people are in the room with your eyes closed or in the dark. They all buzz pretty loudly when you are facing them.
oh and don't focus on the buzz while standing unless you know how it will affect you. I fell down some stairs on my way to the kitchen because I was focusing on it. I like the sound; it comforts me. I instantly tranced, lost my balance, and took a nose dive down three steps.
Then I was aleep again and I forced my eyes open, still paralyzed. Then slipped back into the dream "ha ha ha you can't get away stop trying." said the evil ghost thing. Then I woke again and my body was even heavier this time. I got my arms under me and pushed with all my strength. I got almost crawing, then got my head off the bed. I then got my legs under me. This whole time I feel either insanely weak, or like I weigh 2000 pounds.
Anyway then I got up onto my knee(kneeling) and sort of kneel crawed to my door. I got my hand on the doorknob and as I was turning it my legs crumbled under me and I then gave in. My body then moved back over to the bed and layed down. ANd here goes the dream again.
Forced myself awake one last time and to my luck I was paralyzed. good old SP. I was so glad which is funny because I usually hate it.
And then I got out of it. This lasted for 30 Minutes!
drinking coke and coffee seem to weaken the buzzing/energy.
Anything with lots of sugar,
I have also noticed that when you use drugs you have tons of energy flowing through you while you are under the influence. Afterwards you are drained, because that energy was used up. I think a big part of drugs is releasing large amounts of energy for imediate use...
this all comes from my personal observation of course, so I don't expect anyone to just trust me.
Everyone has the tone; it is not supernatural, It is natural just unexplored. It might not serve any particular purpose, and could just be a bi-product of the energy that I can feel flowing.
Normally the energy feels like electricity(I know how electricity feels I have been shocked a lot). When I meditate the energy feels less like electricity and more like heat. We don't have the heat on, so the house is really cold now, but I had my shirt off and was sweating as I meditated.
The more I meditate the more sensitive I get to energy.
The more sensitive I get the easier it is for me to get affected by outside materials.
The more I get affected the less I can observe in a fair way.
^Knowing that, I only look at online materials and others, AFTER I have explored enough to form my own working model.
Now as far as the chakras go, there is atleast two things correct as of my experimentation, before me hearing about them.
1) Energy flows along your spine, one time for me a giant amount surged up my spine.
1) the chakras are along the spine. And there is supposed to be a coiled snake that can surge up the chakras awakening them along the way.
2) My first and only topic on this forum, Meditation, was about how I was getting a lot of heat build up on my forehead. I mean a lot.
2) the third eye chakra is supposedly located in the exact area I had the heat build up.
Got any suggestions on how to get up once you come out of sp the first time?
I just get pulled back in I hate that.
I am always "too tired" to get up and I usually can get on all fours like a dog. one time I even got to my door. But I get physically pushed back down into a sleeping position.
seems I have no say in the matter.
I have doubts about sp being "normal" considering me standing there hand on the door knob and then legs crumble under me, body moves over to bed, body lays down, eyes close. You would think that If I managed to stand up I would be "free." I don't like it when my body has power over ME to control itself OR mabey something else did?
I wonder what you guys think,
just 2 of the many weird things that have happened to me since starting meditation... I could find more, If I could find the rest of my posts...
Edited by muddyfrog, 05 April 2009 - 05:08 AM.