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The Top Ten Chuck Norris Facts Rate Topic: -----

#1 User is offline   karl 12 


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Posted 18 April 2009 - 03:10 PM

THE TOP TEN CHUCK NORRIS FACTS:

01 Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

02 Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

03 Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

04 If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

05 Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

06 When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

07 Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded
out of sheer amazement.

08 Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.

09 They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take **** from anybody.

10 A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.

http://www.thechucknorrisfacts.com/

This post has been edited by karl 12: 18 April 2009 - 03:10 PM

Hubble:
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#2 User is offline   Samuronin 


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Posted 18 April 2009 - 03:41 PM

Chuck Norris facts never gets old lol

My fave...Chuck Norris lose his virginity before his father grin2.gif
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#3 User is offline   Subtemperate 


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Posted 18 April 2009 - 04:49 PM

Chuck Norris doesn't post on a forum... he just kicks a computer and the messages appear.

"Not only do I not know the answer, I don't even know what the question is" - Metallica

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#4 User is offline   karl 12 


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Posted 18 April 2009 - 07:54 PM

wink2.gif

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#5 User is offline   LostInAutumn 


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Posted 18 April 2009 - 08:12 PM

Chuck Norris does not "style" his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Wally is hiding
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#6 User is offline   batjoker 


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Posted 19 April 2009 - 02:46 AM

LostInAutumn on Apr 18 2009, 03:12 PM, said:

Chuck Norris does not "style" his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Wally is hiding

chuck norris shot down a fighter plane by pointing his finger at it and saying bang

#7 User is offline   karl 12 


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Posted 19 April 2009 - 11:46 AM

Chuck Norris invented water.

Chuck Norris once kicked a baby elephant into puberty.

One time while sparring with Wolverine, Chuck Norris accidentally lost his left testicle. You might be familiar with it to this very day by its technical term: Jupiter.

Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.

Chuck Norris has never blinked in his entire life. Never.

In the beginning, God said "let there be light" and Chuck Norris said, "Say please".

Chuck Norris once went to the Virgin Islands. They're now known as just The Islands"


Hubble:
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#8 User is offline   Synthetic Anathema 


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Posted 26 June 2009 - 09:13 AM

The US government has one fear - Chuck Norris with a BB gun.

Chuck Norris once got into a knife fight and the knife lost...

Every year on Chuck Norris' birthday he selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun

Chuck Norris' pulse measures on the Richter Scale

Chuck Norris needs a night-light. Not because he's afraid of the dark - but becuase the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris is so fast he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head

The two reasons dinosaurs became extinct: 1 - the ChuckNorrissaurus 2 -

When Chuck Norris jumps into a pool, he doesn't get wet - the water gets Chuck Norris'd

Chuck Norris once clogged a toilet by pissing in it

Chuck Norris' piss is so valuable they put it in glass bottles and call it "champagne"

They say the grass is always greener on the "other" side unless Chuck Norris is on that side - the horror is so undescribable the news guy never made it back

In WWII Chuck Norris decided to help the Allies. However, he merely farted over Hiroshima and Nagasaki

How much wood would a wood-chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck Chuck Norris? All of it...
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#9 User is offline   eqgumby 


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Posted 26 June 2009 - 05:45 PM

Chuck Norris is NOT hung like a horse...
Horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
Credentials/Background<--This is a link!


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#10 User is offline   jakesteele 


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Posted 30 June 2009 - 10:13 AM

Chuck Norris never left the ground when he joined the Mile High Club.

#11 User is offline   Kacen 


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Posted 30 June 2009 - 10:44 PM

Chuck Norris jokes stopped being funny four years ago.
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#12 User is offline   Voyager10 


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Posted 30 June 2009 - 10:49 PM

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

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#13 User is offline   Voyager10 


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Posted 05 October 2009 - 12:15 AM

Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch. He decides what time it is.
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#14 User is offline   adrenochromevortex 


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Posted 15 October 2009 - 03:55 AM

(comment deleted by Chuck Norris)
"Res nolunt diu male administrari"-Things Refuse To Be Mismanaged For Long."

#15 User is offline   Ghost Ship 


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Posted 15 October 2009 - 04:03 AM

Chuck Norris leaves messages before the beep.
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