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Why vampires couldn't exist


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#1    UM-Bot

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Posted 11 May 2009 - 09:09 AM


A paper has been published demonstrating the impossibility of the concept of vampires, drawing upon the fact that if vampires were among us then we would have seen a huge population explosion and their food supply (us) would have ran out.

"Two physicists have published an academic paper where they demonstrate, by virtue of geometric progression, that vampires could not exist, since they would almost immediately deplete their entire food supply (a.k.a, all of us)."

View: Full Article | Source: io9.com

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#2    Harriet The Ripperologist

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Posted 11 May 2009 - 09:34 AM

That'll upset Twilight fans.

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And he began to have it in mind, as so many gentlemen had done before him, to marry a woman of fortune and condition. And, as such things so often happen, these thoughts closely coincided with his setting first sight upon a lady who will henceforth play a considerable part in the drama of his life....

#3    Dezmond

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Posted 11 May 2009 - 09:52 AM

Now we need an academic paper considering dragons and their supposed existence. grin2.gif

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#4    Siara

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Posted 11 May 2009 - 11:24 AM

UM-Bot on May 11 2009, 09:09 AM, said:


A paper has been published demonstrating the impossibility of the concept of vampires, drawing upon the fact that if vampires were among us then we would have seen a huge population explosion and their food supply (us) would have ran out.

"Two physicists have published an academic paper where they demonstrate, by virtue of geometric progression, that vampires could not exist, since they would almost immediately deplete their entire food supply (a.k.a, all of us)."

View: Full Article | linked-image Source: io9.com


Hey, Lestat drank from Akasha when there was no convenient food at hand.  Come to think about it, Akasha drank from Lestat as well-- that's how she became animated after her long nap.

I don't see how these people can call themselves scholars when they don't bother consulting the experts before writing a paper.  They should have interviewed Anne Rice.



#5    shaka5

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Posted 11 May 2009 - 11:34 AM

Its actually sad to see this is what they chose to put their time into..disproving vampires hahahahahahahahahaa...are you serious, next they should prove that the tooth fairy and the predator never existed

I have less compassion than the average human.

#6    REBEL

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Posted 11 May 2009 - 11:45 AM

They do exist. Try the local bank/ATM and or even credit union.


#7    Stormcrow

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Posted 11 May 2009 - 12:24 PM

God, the failure of understanding mythology burns.

Humans aren't a food supply. They're fecking dead, they can't eat. AHHH. People. I hate misunderstandings that could be cured by simple common sense... That isn't even why they couldn't exist. It's because they are DEAD. Good lord.


(Anne Rice can go to hell for all I care about her and her vampires. She killed them just as much as Stephanie Meyer, and they might as well both go hand in hand to see the real creatures they've been trying to portray.)

Edited by Ebonykrow, 11 May 2009 - 12:25 PM.


#8    Juanita Rose Violini

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Posted 11 May 2009 - 03:43 PM

That was an excellent and entertaining article. While whether physical vampires are myth or misconception may be debatable, emotional vampires definitely exist. Scare tactics and various mind games suck the life right out of a person.

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#9    Queen in the North

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Posted 11 May 2009 - 04:08 PM

Harriet C. on May 11 2009, 10:34 AM, said:

That'll upset Twilight fans.

Good. Maybe it'll bring them back to reality.

Ebonykrow on May 11 2009, 01:24 PM, said:

God, the failure of understanding mythology burns.

Humans aren't a food supply. They're fecking dead, they can't eat. AHHH. People. I hate misunderstandings that could be cured by simple common sense... That isn't even why they couldn't exist. It's because they are DEAD. Good lord.


(Anne Rice can go to hell for all I care about her and her vampires. She killed them just as much as Stephanie Meyer, and they might as well both go hand in hand to see the real creatures they've been trying to portray.)

thumbsup.gif *applauds*

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#10    :PsYKoTiC:BeHAvIoR:

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Posted 11 May 2009 - 04:57 PM

Dezmond on May 11 2009, 06:52 AM, said:

Now we need an academic paper considering dragons and their supposed existence. grin2.gif


Shhhh! You're going to open a can of worm!

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#11    :PsYKoTiC:BeHAvIoR:

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Posted 11 May 2009 - 05:01 PM

shaka5 on May 11 2009, 08:34 AM, said:

Its actually sad to see this is what they chose to put their time into..disproving vampires hahahahahahahahahaa...are you serious, next they should prove that the tooth fairy and the predator never existed


Nooo! My bubble! It popped! LOL!

Seriously though, if Vampires did exist and were superior to humans, we'd probably be their cattle.

Posted Image
"I'd long heard rumors of an alien species that hunted men for sport. I'd always thought they were nothing but campfire tales."


#12    DieChecker

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Posted 11 May 2009 - 05:01 PM

UM-Bot on May 11 2009, 02:09 AM, said:

A paper has been published demonstrating the impossibility of the concept of vampires, drawing upon the fact that if vampires were among us then we would have seen a huge population explosion and their food supply (us) would have ran out.

Depends on if they can control weither or not they convert someone to a vampire. If they can control it, then it would be easy to maintain a stable population.

REBEL on May 11 2009, 04:45 AM, said:

They do exist. Try the local bank/ATM and or even credit union.

The Bloodsuckers!!  laugh.gif

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#13    Hurrikane

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Posted 11 May 2009 - 05:03 PM

Ebonykrow on May 11 2009, 01:24 PM, said:

God, the failure of understanding mythology burns.

Humans aren't a food supply. They're fecking dead, they can't eat. AHHH. People. I hate misunderstandings that could be cured by simple common sense... That isn't even why they couldn't exist. It's because they are DEAD. Good lord.


(Anne Rice can go to hell for all I care about her and her vampires. She killed them just as much as Stephanie Meyer, and they might as well both go hand in hand to see the real creatures they've been trying to portray.)


grin2.gif

Juanita Rose Violini on May 11 2009, 04:43 PM, said:

That was an excellent and entertaining article. While whether physical vampires are myth or misconception may be debatable, emotional vampires definitely exist. Scare tactics and various mind games suck the life right out of a person.


Good point.

I'd like to add that this article fails to draw any logical conclusions as to how they 'define' a vampire (if they exist that is). I feel that the article draws too heavily on Hollywood's portrayal of vampires and has not looked at possibly logical explanations for the myth of the vampire.



#14    Dayne

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Posted 11 May 2009 - 08:13 PM

That's not taking into account "Buffy" and her friends holding down the vampire population.


#15    insanemind

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Posted 11 May 2009 - 08:32 PM

I think its kinda lame reasons of the many reasons they could of focused on to disprove vampires. I mean really theres self control, maybe they dont convert everyone they feed off, or maybe the many blood banks located all over. Im not saying they exist because they dont but what a hack job. I personally would of disproved vampires by comparing them to say a mosqutio and how much blood they both would need to consume on a daily bases just to aquire the nutriants need to survive. Like mosqutios need x amount of blood according to there body size and a vampire would have to consume x mount of blood for there body size.





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