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Deeper Still Rate Topic: -----

#1 User is offline   crtDzyn 


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Posted 03 November 2009 - 07:01 PM

Frozen in queue
Time ticking on two
Thoughts ever dwell
Persistent on you

Timeline unknown
Distance is grown
Rapid fluctuation
In that which is shown

Mirage in my grasp
Drifts slowly back
Cat catches mouse
The meal doesn't last

Desperate to feel
What I'm certain is real
Witnessed in brief
But now must conceal

Eyes swirling green
Convey all between
Words that are spoken
And intention I've seen

Prod my perception
Reality imbued
Acknowledge my condition
Invested in you

The depth of the water
Too murky to guess
Dive deeper still
Conserving your breath

A pearl there awaits
Polished and new
Spawned from the faith
Vested by two
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#2 User is offline   Cloudshill 


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Posted 03 November 2009 - 07:03 PM

Wonderful Crt....well done...
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#3 User is offline   Hissie Sola 


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Posted 03 November 2009 - 07:11 PM

Wow, awesome job my friend. Very well written :tu:
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#4 User is offline   crtDzyn 


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Posted 03 November 2009 - 07:33 PM

Thank you both for the kind words. :)
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#5 User is offline   Mistydawn 


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Posted 03 November 2009 - 08:29 PM

Really lovely peom crtDzyn, you dark horse you! Loving your "new car" also!Posted Image
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#6 User is offline   crtDzyn 


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Posted 03 November 2009 - 09:05 PM

View PostMistydawn, on 03 November 2009 - 03:29 PM, said:

Really lovely peom crtDzyn, you dark horse you! Loving your "new car" also!Posted Image



Thanks Misty, and I'm loving it too :)
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#7 User is offline   Arcana 


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Posted 03 November 2009 - 09:09 PM

Excellent piece of poetry you have crafted here crtDzyn, very well done. :tu:
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#8 User is offline   crtDzyn 


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Posted 03 November 2009 - 09:38 PM

View PostArcana, on 03 November 2009 - 04:09 PM, said:

Excellent piece of poetry you have crafted here crtDzyn, very well done. Posted Image


Thank you very much :)
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#9 User is offline   Still Waters 


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Posted 03 November 2009 - 09:51 PM

Good poem crtDzyn....well done :)
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#10 User is offline   crtDzyn 


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Posted 03 November 2009 - 09:57 PM

View PostStill Waters, on 03 November 2009 - 04:51 PM, said:

Good poem crtDzyn....well done Posted Image


Thanks Still Waters!! :)
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#11 User is offline   Voyager10 


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Posted 04 November 2009 - 02:06 AM

It's a great poem crtDzyn, it is a swirl of imagery and emotion, beautifully written, nice work :)

This post has been edited by Voyager10: 04 November 2009 - 02:07 AM

Posted Image
http://beam.to/dreamjournal
No matter how I try I find my
way into the same old jam
-Led Zeppelin

#12 User is offline   Rosewin 


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Posted 04 November 2009 - 05:44 AM

Mad, mad flow crt bud mate.

Quote

Cat catches mouse
The meal doesn't last


This is just so awesome.

Quote

Acknowledge my condition
Invested in you


I can sense so much power in this phrase.

If this is about our need to connect with significant other but the problems therewith and having a baby then I read right! Nicely done and why do you not post more?
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Sane adulthood is entrapment in a world without magic, in a real world.


@}-,-`-

#13 User is offline   Moon Minion 


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Posted 04 November 2009 - 06:15 AM

View PostcrtDzyn, on 04 November 2009 - 05:01 AM, said:

The depth of the water
Too murky to guess
Dive deeper still
Conserving your breath

A pearl there awaits
Polished and new
Spawned from the faith
Vested by two


This poem is very impressive crtDzyn I especially love these two versus, they hold a certain meaning to me.
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#14 User is offline   Rosewin 


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Posted 04 November 2009 - 06:26 AM

View PostMoon Minion, on 04 November 2009 - 12:15 AM, said:

This poem is very impressive crtDzyn I especially love these two versus, they hold a certain meaning to me.


Definitely Moonlette it is like the way the future of life is unknown but we keep plodding forward but if that pearl is at the end we should carry on with a better eye on the prize.
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Sane adulthood is entrapment in a world without magic, in a real world.


@}-,-`-

#15 User is offline   Moon Minion 


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Posted 04 November 2009 - 06:44 AM

View PostRosewin, on 04 November 2009 - 04:26 PM, said:

Definitely Moonlette it is like the way the future of life is unknown but we keep plodding forward but if that pearl is at the end we should carry on with a better eye on the prize.


That's exactly what I thought. :lol: I know because I've wanted to explore those dark corners of uncertainty, but never did, I'll never no what I missed.
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