[Kim81]

Rhungobains, on 04 November 2009 - 01:37 AM, said:

I ate a really rank roast potato yesterday. It was one of those ones you know is going to taste revolting the moment you begin to chew it. I guess if I could go back to any point in my life it would be to just before dinner time last night and remove the potato from my plate before my past-self was able to consume it. Better yet, go back a little further and destroy the potato completely before it could be properly cultivated in farmer Giles' field.

..................

[Kim81]

I would've spent more time with my Mother during my last visit home before she died. I stayed with my cousin instead of staying home with her and it really hurt her feelings, but I was just trying to show my independence as an adult. I didn't realize that the next time I saw her she would be lying in a hospital bed unable to speak, or even recognize me because she was at the end stage of cancer.

[Mistydawn]

Kim81, on 22 November 2009 - 12:27 AM, said:

I would've spent more time with my Mother during my last visit home before she died. I stayed with my cousin instead of staying home with her and it really hurt her feelings, but I was just trying to show my independence as an adult. I didn't realize that the next time I saw her she would be lying in a hospital bed unable to speak, or even recognize me because she was at the end stage of cancer.

Kim81, Imy heart goes out to you. I was with my Mother when she died, also of cancer and I too still have things I would like to beable to do better, or differently.


Perhaps I could take you back to a moment in time, spent with your Mother that was good.. you could just re-live the experience without changing anything.

[Kim81]

Mistydawn, on 22 November 2009 - 07:32 PM, said:

Kim81, Imy heart goes out to you. I was with my Mother when she died, also of cancer and I too still have things I would like to beable to do better, or differently.


Perhaps I could take you back to a moment in time, spent with your Mother that was good.. you could just re-live the experience without changing anything.

Well, I was there when she died but you know at that point they are not really aware of their suroundings anynmore. The day before my Mom died it was like she was in another world, she was wide awake but chatting with an empty chair when we went to the hospital to see her, the morphine had her thinking she was talking to her Mother that died before I was born. We had a pretty good relationship but I look back and hate every moment that I could have spent with her and didn't. Now that you say it though, when I was 17 and graduated from basic trainning she came down and spent 2 days with me, just me and her, and it was great. I was so glad to see her and she was so proud of me. That was probrably one of our best times together. I couldn't wait to join the army and leave home thinking I was a grown up, and all throught boot camp and when the graduation came all I could think about was how I couldn't wait to see my Mommy I guess that's life though, I have just learned to cherish the people in my life now, because you don't know how long you will have them.....especially you're Mother, no one can ever take her place and when she's gone you miss her every day.

[Mistydawn]

Kim81, on 22 November 2009 - 10:10 AM, said:

Well, I was there when she died but you know at that point they are not really aware of their suroundings anynmore. The day before my Mom died it was like she was in another world, she was wide awake but chatting with an empty chair when we went to the hospital to see her, the morphine had her thinking she was talking to her Mother that died before I was born. We had a pretty good relationship but I look back and hate every moment that I could have spent with her and didn't. Now that you say it though, when I was 17 and graduated from basic trainning she came down and spent 2 days with me, just me and her, and it was great. I was so glad to see her and she was so proud of me. That was probrably one of our best times together. I couldn't wait to join the army and leave home thinking I was a grown up, and all throught boot camp and when the graduation came all I could think about was how I couldn't wait to see my Mommy I guess that's life though, I have just learned to cherish the people in my life now, because you don't know how long you will have them.....especially you're Mother, no one can ever take her place and when she's gone you miss her every day.

Thanks for sharing this with me Kim81, I do understand or at least, from my own point of view.. I know that the relationship between child and parent is paramount to where you go, who you are in life.
I guess that "putting oneself into anothers shoes" is my usual format for progression in life... trying to understand why, and how etc our parents were the way they were..
You will have made her proud I am sure.
We each are responsible for our own actions, is how I see life, but relying on others is how we get by.
When someone dies, it leaves us shattered, immeasurably inconsolable at times, I know, but we have to take the good and the bad in life and soldier on, what else is there.
Be sure that, if there is another life, after death, none of our silly misdemeanors, will matter that much.