[cluey]

I think my 40 year old boy friend is going through a mid life crisis!...he is a very busy man....who is also about to go through a tough divorce............apart from the obvious troubles of a man with baggage......he is reverting back to being 18....eg...growing his hair long again ect.......id like some advice please on other indications that this is what could be happening and how to deal with it

[GlenBoy22]

have you tried not sleeping with married men?

[cluey]

GlenBoy22, on 05 November 2009 - 02:24 PM, said:

have you tried not sleeping with married men?

excuse me!!!!!!.........he has been separated from her for nearly 1 year....he and i met about 4 months after he left her..........im not asking to be given a hard time...i haven't done anything wrong........thanks for the advice

[Dying Seraph]

cluey, on 04 November 2009 - 10:14 PM, said:

I think my 40 year old boy friend is going through a mid life crisis!...he is a very busy man....who is also about to go through a tough divorce............apart from the obvious troubles of a man with baggage......he is reverting back to being 18....eg...growing his hair long again ect.......id like some advice please on other indications that this is what could be happening and how to deal with it

Well. I imagine all you can do is show your support. I'd imagine his behaviour will be sporadic going through a midlefe crisis and all.

I also believe he's gonna be going through dabda. DABDA is denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Usually this involves tramaitc situations such as a death of a loved one but I suppose a midlife crisis can suffice as tramatic to a person.

[cluey]

Dying Seraph, on 05 November 2009 - 03:37 PM, said:

Well. I imagine all you can do is show your support. I'd imagine his behaviour will be sporadic going through a midlefe crisis and all.

I also believe he's gonna be going through dabda. DABDA is denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Usually this involves tramaitc situations such as a death of a loved one but I suppose a midlife crisis can suffice as tramatic to a person.

traumatic as in...she had 3 other kids....when she met him...they had 1 together......2 of her others are not accepting the separation well......they are both male and in their 20's......his other is only 13..........so yes!!!!...it is traumatic at times.........and a woman who cheated and is trying to take him for everything

This post has been edited by cluey: 05 November 2009 - 05:57 AM

[Dying Seraph]

cluey, on 04 November 2009 - 11:56 PM, said:

traumatic as in...she had 3 other kids....when she met him...they had 1 together......2 of her others are not accepting the separation well......they are both male and in their 20's......his other is only 13..........so yes!!!!...it is traumatic at times.........and a woman who cheated and is trying to take him for everything

Greetings Cluey!

Forgive me for comeing off intrussive but it seems by your last post that you are less intrigued at the topic of a midlife crisis and more focused on anger and resentment of this other lady. It's understandable.
It's not my place to say, but holding a grudge from the past will affect your future. We all come across people that do us or our loved ones wrong. But giving someong the emotion and time they do not deserve only eats at our self.

I wish you the best.

[cluey]

Dying Seraph, on 05 November 2009 - 04:06 PM, said:

Greetings Cluey!

Forgive me for comeing off intrussive but it seems by your last post that you are less intrigued at the topic of a midlife crisis and more focused on anger and resentment of this other lady. It's understandable.
It's not my place to say, but holding a grudge from the past will affect your future. We all come across people that do us or our loved ones wrong. But giving someong the emotion and time they do not deserve only eats at our self.

I wish you the best.

thank you for your personal insight........im curious as to weather all these factors play a huge part in a mid life crisis.............i don't have a problem with her...or the children..............please don't assume...........

[Bunny Munro]

Let him indulge. What's the problem with what he is doing?

[questionmark]

Many things that are attributed to MLC are simply not. The main theme for men in a midlife crisis is diminishing potency, both sexual and social that is compensated with attributes of a, supposedly, successful man.

Good signs of MLC are rather quickly changing relations with much younger women, the red sports car and out of the common (for this person) sport activities.

[ohio traveler]

I'd say just tolerate his odd behaviour. For a little while anyway. Chances are he'll realise what he's doing and correct his behaviour.

So basically, just give it some time.

[THAT GUY]

It may get worse before it gets better but usually men and women in this stage do eventually realize how ridiculous it is. Good luck. But also keep in mind that some people go straight downhill and take other with them, never make excuses for behavior and don't let it affect your life to much. there are always other fish in the sea.

[Kim81]

GlenBoy22, on 05 November 2009 - 08:24 AM, said:

have you tried not sleeping with married men?

Damn.......... .
Sometimes people are seperated for quite some time before they divorce....you shouldn't be so judgemental

[cluey]

ohio traveler, on 05 November 2009 - 11:35 PM, said:

I'd say just tolerate his odd behaviour. For a little while anyway. Chances are he'll realise what he's doing and correct his behaviour.

So basically, just give it some time.

thank you very much...........i'm seeing it all a little more clearly now

[Rhungobains]

Buy him a Status Quo LP and a baggy Hawaiian shirt.

[The Silver Thong]

Kim81, on 05 November 2009 - 07:26 AM, said:

Damn.......... .
Sometimes people are seperated for quite some time before they divorce....you shouldn't be so judgemental

True I was seperated for 6 yrs befor we decided to get the paper work done lol. I only did it because I was going to get re-married thank goodness I didn't !

MLC or a mid-life re-birth depends on how you look at it.