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Florida vampire to run for President


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93 replies to this topic

#1    Still Waters

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Posted 18 March 2010 - 03:25 PM

www.cbsnews.com said:

  Not satisfied with living in Florida, Jonathon "The Impaler" Sharkey wants to move to Washington, D.C., to become the nation's first vampire president, reports CBS affiliate WTSP.

Sharkey, 45, spent Friday on a Greyhound bus with his new fiancee, Audrianna Foster, a 19-year-old girl from Ohio he met online. She too believes she is a vampire, or vampyre.


"I haven't dated a girl older than 19 since 2006," said the Tampa man as his 19-year-old daughter and his 2-year-old grandson met him at the Greyhound station. "It's good to be me."

"The Impaler" claims he's a direct descendent of Vlad II the Impaler, better known as Dracula.

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#2    Voyager10

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Posted 18 March 2010 - 03:34 PM

Slashing the deficit!

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Vampire 2012



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#3    Weeping Angel

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Posted 18 March 2010 - 10:58 PM

So what are his political views?  Anyone is better than Obama :)

Edited by Extinction, 18 March 2010 - 10:59 PM.

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#4    _Nyx_

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Posted 18 March 2010 - 11:33 PM

I have been waiting my whole life for this.


#5    Stormcrow

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Posted 19 March 2010 - 12:08 AM

This is messed up in so many ways.

Did anyone related to this guy think at all to get him a trip to the local psych?


#6    shaka5

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Posted 19 March 2010 - 12:02 PM

i didn't think anything was gonna be funnier than Al Sharpton running for president, man was i wrong

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#7    jbondo

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Posted 19 March 2010 - 01:33 PM

I'm not even going to read the article.


#8    Belial

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Posted 19 March 2010 - 01:42 PM

Hold on a minute...i thought Obama was a vampyre anyway ;)

Where it states "For official use only" - gently rub a white wax candle over the area indicated.

Kick a habit - i never did like Tolkien...

#9    HerNibs

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Posted 19 March 2010 - 01:44 PM

View Postjbondo, on 19 March 2010 - 01:33 PM, said:

I'm not even going to read the article.


Wackadoo attention whore with delusions and fetish runs for office.


There.  :)  All points covered.

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#10    Coffey

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Posted 19 March 2010 - 03:13 PM

View Post_Nyx_, on 18 March 2010 - 11:33 PM, said:

I have been waiting my whole life for this.



So you have waited your whole life for a sick perverted stalker vampire to be president?

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#11    Stormcrow

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Posted 19 March 2010 - 03:15 PM

View PostCoffey, on 19 March 2010 - 03:13 PM, said:

So you have waited your whole life for a sick perverted stalker vampire to be president?

I believe she was joking. Maybe a little bit.

*pinches fingers together*


#12    magickaldan

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Posted 19 March 2010 - 03:43 PM

"However, he also bragged about having numerous teen-aged girlfriends in recent years.

The girls have also provided several skeletons in Sharkey's closet.

He's accused of "brainwashing" a 16-year-old in Minnesota. The two were engaged until last month. Her family now has a restraining order against Sharkey and claims his texts to her violate it.

He reportedly admitted to harassing another 16-year-old Minnesota girl online in 2009.

He was arrested in Tennessee several years ago and is currently on probation from Indiana after he was found guilty in 2009 of intimidating a judge. He served six months in a Marion Co. jail before his release. Sources confirm the Secret Service has had to keep him on its radar, since he moves around the country." (http://www.cbsnews.c...6.shtml?tag=pop)

You think he's even gonna get close to the polls? lmao


#13    the rebirth

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Posted 19 March 2010 - 03:44 PM

this guy sounds like a creep. hes from florida right? the sunshine state? sunshine kill vampyre? ok.


#14    _Nyx_

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Posted 19 March 2010 - 03:50 PM

View Postebonycrow, on 19 March 2010 - 03:15 PM, said:

I believe she was joking. Maybe a little bit.

*pinches fingers together*


:lol: yeah....though, I do have a bit of a vampire obesession  :ph34r:


#15    HerNibs

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Posted 19 March 2010 - 03:56 PM

View Post_Nyx_, on 19 March 2010 - 03:50 PM, said:

:lol: yeah....though, I do have a bit of a vampire obesession  :ph34r:


Me too, but NOT for emo sparkly vampires.

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:P

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