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Renegade


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#1    Cloud_Strife

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Posted 26 June 2004 - 08:34 PM

Walking in this desolate wasteland once known as New York city a man shrouded in darkness walks endlessly without purpose searching for the truth in a world of lies. Bending over the man notices many papers blowing with the breeze that the wind brought, headlines flashing "the end" yet none explaining what the end is or was in his case. The planet lies in chaos the world a shattered illusion told in fairy tales to frightened children as they sleep at night, whilst reality bares the true scars of the planet leaving only crumbled ruins of cities and fragments of a civilisation long forgotten.
Time meaning nothing now the stranger carries on walking searching for the truth to the riddle of what happened to his gaia, his mother, his earth.

A world is born from chaos yet life still flourishes technology all but gone left mankind isolated from its neighbouring countries, even if the ability to travel was still available none are left to pilot the machines of the past and no-one remembers how the cataclism of earth begun or if it had ever finished


Edited by Cloud_Strife, 26 June 2004 - 08:42 PM.


#2    Cloud_Strife

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Posted 26 June 2004 - 09:07 PM

Walking alone once again a scream echos through the ruins of New York the man quickens his pace his muscles tightening his eyes narrowing. Finding the cause of the scream the man finds a group of Myarts (humans with the intelligence only to kill and mate) surrounding a young woman clutching her tattered clothes and a dead body next to her. Screams still echoing in his ears the man reaches behind his robes and from this place pulls two guns each more devilish looking than the other, now armed the man shouts
"Leave the girl alone"
Not understanding english the Myarts only glance to him with drooling mouths and bloodish weapons, as if not expecting them to comply the man smiles wrily underneath his blackened robes and lets loose a hail of bullets each penetrating one of the Myarts skulls, no bullets miss.
Now walking towards the girl the man scours the Myarts and notices the weapons to which they had carried, clubs pipes and other blunted tools found amongst the rubbish of the city yet all covered in blood.

The girl still sobbing now cowered in fear to her dead brothers body saved by a man in black, saved yet still in danger.
"Pppp please dont hurt me" clutching the remains of a beautiful dress the girl clambered over her brothers body still trying to wake him from his eternal sleep. The man still walked to her no face visible underneath his robes and now no weapon in his hands then only darkness.



The girl awoke to find herself in new clothes lying next to a warm fire, she stared at her surroundings yet only seeing darkness yet a voice loomed from the darkness.
"So you finally awoke i see, sorry if i startled you but you fainted once i approached you back at the city, my name is Ryu what is yours ??"


Edited by Cloud_Strife, 26 June 2004 - 09:18 PM.


#3    Cloud_Strife

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Posted 26 June 2004 - 09:19 PM

so can any1 give me there honest oppinion of the story so far im a bit intrested in what every1 thinks of it. Please give your honest oppinions and i wont take anything you say offensively. thanks


#4    doomgirl

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Posted 27 June 2004 - 04:24 AM

I like it, it's good so far  thumbsup.gif  

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#5    Cloud_Strife

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Posted 28 June 2004 - 01:50 PM

still groggy from fainting the young girl can only vaguely make out the dark elusive shape of her saviour, if it was not for him she would probably have been raped and killed, she now knew that this had been her brothers thoughts aswell and his actions to save her cost him dearly. Snapping back from the thoughts she now noticed no ruins of the city around her no sign of her old clothes and no sign of her brother, still looking frantically the silent saviour made no sound or movement but instead watched her curiously.

"I thank you for saving me, ppp please find me not ungrateful yet i wish to know what of my brother?"

A sigh erupted from Ryu and a gloved hand pointed in the direction of disturbed earth and a small wooden cross.

"N no it cant be why why he was only saving me from those beast!"

once again the girl took to fainting, and once again Ryu was left wondering who the hell was this girl ??


#6    Cloud_Strife

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Posted 07 July 2004 - 08:30 PM

Ryu now left once again to himself pondered the actions of how he ended up the way he was now, a loner, an outcast, a Renegade.

Cast out from the family he had oce considered his own Ryu had been told the truth to his upbringing, he was adopted from one of the old ranch hands that owned a farm in where maps say the state of texas was. Found just a child wandering the endless expance of land surrounding the ranch the boy had collapsed half dead upon the old ranchmans porch. If it had not been the boys uncanny appearance of jet black hair and fiery red eyes the old man wouldve threw him out there and then, being old the old man had time to look after the boy and nurse him back to health.

10 years passed and the old ranchman found a son in the boy, naming him Ryu the boy had been raised well growing strong and fast much like the other boys who also lived on the ranch.
Yet whilst the other boys living near Ryu had spent their lives obeying their desires to procreate Ryu had learned the art of fighting from the men on the ranch, and had a particular bloodlust when the old man finally tought the boy to shoot.
The ranch had once been a base for something known as the army but now all but underground bunkers remained each containing wepons of destruction to which the ranchers had guarded since they settled.

Learning quick how to fight Ryu fought with great intensity earning him the name scarlet terror amongst his closest friends, this was of course due to the colour of his eyes and his accuracy with the gun.


#7    The Cheat

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Posted 07 July 2004 - 11:49 PM

Awesome so far Cloud!

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#8    Cloud_Strife

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Posted 04 September 2004 - 08:54 PM

Finally equiped with weapons to which he had been raised Ryu was now a worthy opponent to all who dared challenge him. The small town ridden in dust now faced a new era, an era where one they had raised as their own would be forced to save them all.

It was the year of the red sun Ryu still living with the old man continued to practise fighting even though he had beaten everone in the village his thirst for violence continued to scare the old man, it had been many a year since he had found the boy half dead on his porch yet the boy had grown much slower since he reached his twenties now all those boys who had grown with ryu had families of their own and sons to be proud of, Ryu still looked young had taken no mate and with each year his eyes seem to blaze even more red.
The town elders always suspicious of the boy had decided to bring in a shaman from the east to help Ryu recover his lost memories of his childhood, believing him to be a demon.
This was the first mistake the men would make, and the last .... devil.gif


#9    Uncle Meat

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Posted 05 September 2004 - 12:44 AM

its good! nice job!



wait a second.........

ryu? as in wooden sword ryu? wtf?

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#10    Daughter of the Nine Moons

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Posted 05 September 2004 - 06:50 AM

very cool cloud strife

One does not simply walk into Mordor.

#11    Cloud_Strife

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Posted 09 September 2004 - 07:22 PM

QUOTE(Uncle Meat @ Sep 5 2004, 01:44 AM)
its good! nice job!



wait a second.........

ryu? as in wooden sword ryu? wtf?

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nah ryu as in breath of fire series for the playstation lol ran outta names when writing the plot whistling2.gif


#12    snuffypuffer

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Posted 10 September 2004 - 08:58 PM

The lack of punctuation made it a little hard to read.  Breaking things up will make your story flow better.  I like the premise, though. thumbsup.gif

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#13    Cloud_Strife

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Posted 11 September 2004 - 07:53 PM

lol im all up for writing but ma punctuation really sucks whistling2.gif


#14    snuffypuffer

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Posted 11 September 2004 - 10:51 PM

Just some friendly advice. thumbsup.gif   Keep on writing, you'll be fine.

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#15    Druidus

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Posted 14 September 2004 - 07:38 PM

It's a pretty cool story!  I like apocolypse/last-stand stories.  Good luck!   thumbsup.gif

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