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The Neverending Story: Reloaded


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#46    Antimony

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Posted 08 June 2010 - 07:48 PM

Chapter II

Joe woke up an hour later with a splitting migraine and a voice in his head said, "Ahh, you're awake. But...I don't think you're in Kansas anymore" as, through the haze of his slowly returning consciousness he heard a low, electric humming and felt shuddering, rhythmic vibrations beneath his body.

A little dazed he looked around but he was still groggy. He was in a dark cave under the ground with a light shining from above. . . it was a hole and he could see the sky through it. Or that's what he thought at first, until he realized that the walls of this "cave" were made out of a metal-like material and that the stars were streaking past the opening above him at vertiginous speed. Joe freaked out and ran around banging on the walls, screaming "LET ME OUT OF HERE YOU LITTLE GREEN FREAKS!!!!!!!" as one of the walls opened a hole in it and one of the aforementioned LFGs walked into the room.

If only he’d say, something, anything, but even his face was completely expressionless, as he started to pull out things out of his pockets with serenity of everyday routine, until there was a small but amazingly chaotic heap on the floor, allowing Joe to recognize just few items, pen, lighter, cork, candy wrapper, card, lost in god knows what else in that surreal mess that could offer no meaning to the sane mind. Who is this guy, MacGyver? Joe thought as he watched the LGF, wondering if maybe he could use any of those items himself. But the so far expressionless face transformed into asymmetric grin, and the LGF took the cork of the heap, pointing at Joe’s chest. Without thinking, Joe dived to the side and waited for the shot that never came. Instead, the green eyebrows went up and the LGF started to vigorously point at the cork and the Joe’s chest, like he’s trying to suggest... some sort of trade?

Suddenly the LGF made a high squeaky sound and a side-panel in the wall of the space-ship glided noiselessly aside, revealing rows after rows of corked bottles of priceless French red wine.

(I thought it was time to start a new chapter, posts getting awfully long)

Posted Image
Claudine went to the Ladies to power her nose.

#47    Helen of Annoy

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Posted 08 June 2010 - 08:02 PM

Chapter II

Joe woke up an hour later with a splitting migraine and a voice in his head said, "Ahh, you're awake. But...I don't think you're in Kansas anymore" as, through the haze of his slowly returning consciousness he heard a low, electric humming and felt shuddering, rhythmic vibrations beneath his body.

A little dazed he looked around but he was still groggy. He was in a dark cave under the ground with a light shining from above. . . it was a hole and he could see the sky through it. Or that's what he thought at first, until he realized that the walls of this "cave" were made out of a metal-like material and that the stars were streaking past the opening above him at vertiginous speed. Joe freaked out and ran around banging on the walls, screaming "LET ME OUT OF HERE YOU LITTLE GREEN FREAKS!!!!!!!" as one of the walls opened a hole in it and one of the aforementioned LFGs walked into the room.

If only he’d say, something, anything, but even his face was completely expressionless, as he started to pull out things out of his pockets with serenity of everyday routine, until there was a small but amazingly chaotic heap on the floor, allowing Joe to recognize just few items, pen, lighter, cork, candy wrapper, card, lost in god knows what else in that surreal mess that could offer no meaning to the sane mind. Who is this guy, MacGyver? Joe thought as he watched the LGF, wondering if maybe he could use any of those items himself. But the so far expressionless face transformed into asymmetric grin, and the LGF took the cork of the heap, pointing at Joe’s chest. Without thinking, Joe dived to the side and waited for the shot that never came. Instead, the green eyebrows went up and the LGF started to vigorously point at the cork and the Joe’s chest, like he’s trying to suggest... some sort of trade?

Suddenly the LGF made a high squeaky sound and a side-panel in the wall of the space-ship glided noiselessly aside, revealing rows after rows of corked bottles of priceless French red wine. Joe didn't rush it, the short time spent with little green men was more than enough to make him cautious, but there was no point in the endless waiting as the only alternative to the first step towards the weirdest wine cellar ever.

*forget this post, J.B. got it much better*

Edited by Helen of Annoy, 08 June 2010 - 08:07 PM.

Posted Image

Have I ever lost the plot while reading one of your posts?
The will to live maybe, but not the plot...  -  Junior Chubb

#48    J.B.

J.B.

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Posted 08 June 2010 - 08:05 PM

Chapter II

Joe woke up an hour later with a splitting migraine and a voice in his head said, "Ahh, you're awake. But...I don't think you're in Kansas anymore" as, through the haze of his slowly returning consciousness he heard a low, electric humming and felt shuddering, rhythmic vibrations beneath his body.

A little dazed he looked around but he was still groggy. He was in a dark cave under the ground with a light shining from above. . . it was a hole and he could see the sky through it. Or that's what he thought at first, until he realized that the walls of this "cave" were made out of a metal-like material and that the stars were streaking past the opening above him at vertiginous speed. Joe freaked out and ran around banging on the walls, screaming "LET ME OUT OF HERE YOU LITTLE GREEN FREAKS!!!!!!!" as one of the walls opened a hole in it and one of the aforementioned LFGs walked into the room.

If only he’d say, something, anything, but even his face was completely expressionless, as he started to pull out things out of his pockets with serenity of everyday routine, until there was a small but amazingly chaotic heap on the floor, allowing Joe to recognize just few items, pen, lighter, cork, candy wrapper, card, lost in god knows what else in that surreal mess that could offer no meaning to the sane mind. Who is this guy, MacGyver? Joe thought as he watched the LGF, wondering if maybe he could use any of those items himself. But the so far expressionless face transformed into asymmetric grin, and the LGF took the cork of the heap, pointing at Joe’s chest. Without thinking, Joe dived to the side and waited for the shot that never came. Instead, the green eyebrows went up and the LGF started to vigorously point at the cork and the Joe’s chest, like he’s trying to suggest... some sort of trade?

Suddenly the LGF made a high squeaky sound and a side-panel in the wall of the space-ship glided noiselessly aside, revealing rows after rows of corked bottles of priceless French red wine. Joe didn't rush it, the short time spent with little green men was more than enough to make him cautious, but there was no point in the endless waiting as the only alternative to the first step towards the weirdest wine cellar ever.

He watched the rows pop up and waited for his host to make the first move toward the wine rows.

Edited by J.B., 08 June 2010 - 08:09 PM.


#49    Antimony

Antimony

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Posted 08 June 2010 - 08:17 PM

Chapter II

Joe woke up an hour later with a splitting migraine and a voice in his head said, "Ahh, you're awake. But...I don't think you're in Kansas anymore" as, through the haze of his slowly returning consciousness he heard a low, electric humming and felt shuddering, rhythmic vibrations beneath his body.

A little dazed he looked around but he was still groggy. He was in a dark cave under the ground with a light shining from above. . . it was a hole and he could see the sky through it. Or that's what he thought at first, until he realized that the walls of this "cave" were made out of a metal-like material and that the stars were streaking past the opening above him at vertiginous speed. Joe freaked out and ran around banging on the walls, screaming "LET ME OUT OF HERE YOU LITTLE GREEN FREAKS!!!!!!!" as one of the walls opened a hole in it and one of the aforementioned LFGs walked into the room.

If only he’d say, something, anything, but even his face was completely expressionless, as he started to pull out things out of his pockets with serenity of everyday routine, until there was a small but amazingly chaotic heap on the floor, allowing Joe to recognize just few items, pen, lighter, cork, candy wrapper, card, lost in god knows what else in that surreal mess that could offer no meaning to the sane mind. Who is this guy, MacGyver? Joe thought as he watched the LGF, wondering if maybe he could use any of those items himself. But the so far expressionless face transformed into asymmetric grin, and the LGF took the cork of the heap, pointing at Joe’s chest. Without thinking, Joe dived to the side and waited for the shot that never came. Instead, the green eyebrows went up and the LGF started to vigorously point at the cork and the Joe’s chest, like he’s trying to suggest... some sort of trade?

Suddenly the LGF made a high squeaky sound and a side-panel in the wall of the space-ship glided noiselessly aside, revealing rows after rows of corked bottles of priceless French red wine. Joe didn't rush it, the short time spent with little green men was more than enough to make him cautious, but there was no point in the endless waiting as the only alternative to the first step towards the weirdest wine cellar ever.

He watched the rows pop up and waited for his host to make the first move toward the wine rows. His new green friend though continued to gesticulate with his two spindly, clawed fingers and as he whisked out a corkscrew from a pouch in his belly it finally dawned on Joe, "No opposable thumbs, you slow-witted son of a gun!"

Posted Image
Claudine went to the Ladies to power her nose.

#50    J.B.

J.B.

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Posted 08 June 2010 - 08:24 PM

Chapter II

Joe woke up an hour later with a splitting migraine and a voice in his head said, "Ahh, you're awake. But...I don't think you're in Kansas anymore" as, through the haze of his slowly returning consciousness he heard a low, electric humming and felt shuddering, rhythmic vibrations beneath his body.

A little dazed he looked around but he was still groggy. He was in a dark cave under the ground with a light shining from above. . . it was a hole and he could see the sky through it. Or that's what he thought at first, until he realized that the walls of this "cave" were made out of a metal-like material and that the stars were streaking past the opening above him at vertiginous speed. Joe freaked out and ran around banging on the walls, screaming "LET ME OUT OF HERE YOU LITTLE GREEN FREAKS!!!!!!!" as one of the walls opened a hole in it and one of the aforementioned LFGs walked into the room.

If only he’d say, something, anything, but even his face was completely expressionless, as he started to pull out things out of his pockets with serenity of everyday routine, until there was a small but amazingly chaotic heap on the floor, allowing Joe to recognize just few items, pen, lighter, cork, candy wrapper, card, lost in god knows what else in that surreal mess that could offer no meaning to the sane mind. Who is this guy, MacGyver? Joe thought as he watched the LGF, wondering if maybe he could use any of those items himself. But the so far expressionless face transformed into asymmetric grin, and the LGF took the cork of the heap, pointing at Joe’s chest. Without thinking, Joe dived to the side and waited for the shot that never came. Instead, the green eyebrows went up and the LGF started to vigorously point at the cork and the Joe’s chest, like he’s trying to suggest... some sort of trade?

Suddenly the LGF made a high squeaky sound and a side-panel in the wall of the space-ship glided noiselessly aside, revealing rows after rows of corked bottles of priceless French red wine. Joe didn't rush it, the short time spent with little green men was more than enough to make him cautious, but there was no point in the endless waiting as the only alternative to the first step towards the weirdest wine cellar ever.

He watched the rows pop up and waited for his host to make the first move toward the wine rows. His new green friend though continued to gesticulate with his two spindly, clawed fingers and as he whisked out a corkscrew from a pouch in his belly it finally dawned on Joe, "No opposable thumbs, you slow-witted son of a gun!" Joe grabbed a corkscrew and picked up one of the bottles of red wine to open it before stepping backward quickly.


#51    Antimony

Antimony

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Posted 08 June 2010 - 08:38 PM

Chapter II

Joe woke up an hour later with a splitting migraine and a voice in his head said, "Ahh, you're awake. But...I don't think you're in Kansas anymore" as, through the haze of his slowly returning consciousness he heard a low, electric humming and felt shuddering, rhythmic vibrations beneath his body.

A little dazed he looked around but he was still groggy. He was in a dark cave under the ground with a light shining from above. . . it was a hole and he could see the sky through it. Or that's what he thought at first, until he realized that the walls of this "cave" were made out of a metal-like material and that the stars were streaking past the opening above him at vertiginous speed. Joe freaked out and ran around banging on the walls, screaming "LET ME OUT OF HERE YOU LITTLE GREEN FREAKS!!!!!!!" as one of the walls opened a hole in it and one of the aforementioned LFGs walked into the room.

If only he’d say, something, anything, but even his face was completely expressionless, as he started to pull out things out of his pockets with serenity of everyday routine, until there was a small but amazingly chaotic heap on the floor, allowing Joe to recognize just few items, pen, lighter, cork, candy wrapper, card, lost in god knows what else in that surreal mess that could offer no meaning to the sane mind. Who is this guy, MacGyver? Joe thought as he watched the LGF, wondering if maybe he could use any of those items himself. But the so far expressionless face transformed into asymmetric grin, and the LGF took the cork of the heap, pointing at Joe’s chest. Without thinking, Joe dived to the side and waited for the shot that never came. Instead, the green eyebrows went up and the LGF started to vigorously point at the cork and the Joe’s chest, like he’s trying to suggest... some sort of trade?

Suddenly the LGF made a high squeaky sound and a side-panel in the wall of the space-ship glided noiselessly aside, revealing rows after rows of corked bottles of priceless French red wine. Joe didn't rush it, the short time spent with little green men was more than enough to make him cautious, but there was no point in the endless waiting as the only alternative to the first step towards the weirdest wine cellar ever.

He watched the rows pop up and waited for his host to make the first move toward the wine rows. His new green friend though continued to gesticulate with his three spindly, clawed fingers and as he whisked out a corkscrew from a pouch in his belly it finally dawned on Joe, "No opposable thumbs, you slow-witted son of a gun!" Joe grabbed a corkscrew and picked up one of the bottles of red wine to open it before stepping backward quickly.

The LGF erupted in uncontrolled gurgles and twitters, approached the open bottle and gingerly dipped a tentacle-like appendage into the Château Lafite before him.

Posted Image
Claudine went to the Ladies to power her nose.

#52    J.B.

J.B.

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Posted 08 June 2010 - 08:51 PM

Joe woke up an hour later with a splitting migraine and a voice in his head said, "Ahh, you're awake. But...I don't think you're in Kansas anymore" as, through the haze of his slowly returning consciousness he heard a low, electric humming and felt shuddering, rhythmic vibrations beneath his body.

A little dazed he looked around but he was still groggy. He was in a dark cave under the ground with a light shining from above. . . it was a hole and he could see the sky through it. Or that's what he thought at first, until he realized that the walls of this "cave" were made out of a metal-like material and that the stars were streaking past the opening above him at vertiginous speed. Joe freaked out and ran around banging on the walls, screaming "LET ME OUT OF HERE YOU LITTLE GREEN FREAKS!!!!!!!" as one of the walls opened a hole in it and one of the aforementioned LFGs walked into the room.

If only he’d say, something, anything, but even his face was completely expressionless, as he started to pull out things out of his pockets with serenity of everyday routine, until there was a small but amazingly chaotic heap on the floor, allowing Joe to recognize just few items, pen, lighter, cork, candy wrapper, card, lost in god knows what else in that surreal mess that could offer no meaning to the sane mind. Who is this guy, MacGyver? Joe thought as he watched the LGF, wondering if maybe he could use any of those items himself. But the so far expressionless face transformed into asymmetric grin, and the LGF took the cork of the heap, pointing at Joe’s chest. Without thinking, Joe dived to the side and waited for the shot that never came. Instead, the green eyebrows went up and the LGF started to vigorously point at the cork and the Joe’s chest, like he’s trying to suggest... some sort of trade?

Suddenly the LGF made a high squeaky sound and a side-panel in the wall of the space-ship glided noiselessly aside, revealing rows after rows of corked bottles of priceless French red wine. Joe didn't rush it, the short time spent with little green men was more than enough to make him cautious, but there was no point in the endless waiting as the only alternative to the first step towards the weirdest wine cellar ever.

He watched the rows pop up and waited for his host to make the first move toward the wine rows. His new green friend though continued to gesticulate with his three spindly, clawed fingers and as he whisked out a corkscrew from a pouch in his belly it finally dawned on Joe, "No opposable thumbs, you slow-witted son of a gun!" Joe grabbed a corkscrew and picked up one of the bottles of red wine to open it before stepping backward quickly.

The LGF erupted in uncontrolled gurgles and twitters, approached the open bottle and gingerly dipped a tentacle-like appendage into the Château Lafite before him. Joe grabbed a second bottle and opened it, irritated that the alien ruined a perfectly good bottle of wine by sticking his paws into it.


#53    Helen of Annoy

Helen of Annoy

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Posted 09 June 2010 - 04:36 PM

Joe woke up an hour later with a splitting migraine and a voice in his head said, "Ahh, you're awake. But...I don't think you're in Kansas anymore" as, through the haze of his slowly returning consciousness he heard a low, electric humming and felt shuddering, rhythmic vibrations beneath his body.

A little dazed he looked around but he was still groggy. He was in a dark cave under the ground with a light shining from above. . . it was a hole and he could see the sky through it. Or that's what he thought at first, until he realized that the walls of this "cave" were made out of a metal-like material and that the stars were streaking past the opening above him at vertiginous speed. Joe freaked out and ran around banging on the walls, screaming "LET ME OUT OF HERE YOU LITTLE GREEN FREAKS!!!!!!!" as one of the walls opened a hole in it and one of the aforementioned LFGs walked into the room.

If only he’d say, something, anything, but even his face was completely expressionless, as he started to pull out things out of his pockets with serenity of everyday routine, until there was a small but amazingly chaotic heap on the floor, allowing Joe to recognize just few items, pen, lighter, cork, candy wrapper, card, lost in god knows what else in that surreal mess that could offer no meaning to the sane mind. Who is this guy, MacGyver? Joe thought as he watched the LGF, wondering if maybe he could use any of those items himself. But the so far expressionless face transformed into asymmetric grin, and the LGF took the cork of the heap, pointing at Joe’s chest. Without thinking, Joe dived to the side and waited for the shot that never came. Instead, the green eyebrows went up and the LGF started to vigorously point at the cork and the Joe’s chest, like he’s trying to suggest... some sort of trade?

Suddenly the LGF made a high squeaky sound and a side-panel in the wall of the space-ship glided noiselessly aside, revealing rows after rows of corked bottles of priceless French red wine. Joe didn't rush it, the short time spent with little green men was more than enough to make him cautious, but there was no point in the endless waiting as the only alternative to the first step towards the weirdest wine cellar ever.

He watched the rows pop up and waited for his host to make the first move toward the wine rows. His new green friend though continued to gesticulate with his three spindly, clawed fingers and as he whisked out a corkscrew from a pouch in his belly it finally dawned on Joe, "No opposable thumbs, you slow-witted son of a gun!" Joe grabbed a corkscrew and picked up one of the bottles of red wine to open it before stepping backward quickly.

The LGF erupted in uncontrolled gurgles and twitters, approached the open bottle and gingerly dipped a tentacle-like appendage into the Château Lafite before him. Joe grabbed a second bottle and opened it, irritated that the alien ruined a perfectly good bottle of wine by sticking his paws into it. There was a second of silence after the popping sound and there was something sinister in that silence, so Joe was not utterly surprised when the sound of what seemed like hundreds of little feet filled the room and he found himself one blink away from the charging crowd of little green men, with their appendages writhing in the air.

Posted Image

Have I ever lost the plot while reading one of your posts?
The will to live maybe, but not the plot...  -  Junior Chubb

#54    J.B.

J.B.

    Alien Abducter

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  • Deadpan snarker in your midst: Jokers beware. I eat jokes for fun and spit out seriousness just because that's how I roll. :P

Posted 09 June 2010 - 08:47 PM

Chapter II

Joe woke up an hour later with a splitting migraine and a voice in his head said, "Ahh, you're awake. But...I don't think you're in Kansas anymore" as, through the haze of his slowly returning consciousness he heard a low, electric humming and felt shuddering, rhythmic vibrations beneath his body.

A little dazed he looked around but he was still groggy. He was in a dark cave under the ground with a light shining from above. . . it was a hole and he could see the sky through it. Or that's what he thought at first, until he realized that the walls of this "cave" were made out of a metal-like material and that the stars were streaking past the opening above him at vertiginous speed. Joe freaked out and ran around banging on the walls, screaming "LET ME OUT OF HERE YOU LITTLE GREEN FREAKS!!!!!!!" as one of the walls opened a hole in it and one of the aforementioned LFGs walked into the room.

If only he’d say, something, anything, but even his face was completely expressionless, as he started to pull out things out of his pockets with serenity of everyday routine, until there was a small but amazingly chaotic heap on the floor, allowing Joe to recognize just few items, pen, lighter, cork, candy wrapper, card, lost in god knows what else in that surreal mess that could offer no meaning to the sane mind. Who is this guy, MacGyver? Joe thought as he watched the LGF, wondering if maybe he could use any of those items himself. But the so far expressionless face transformed into asymmetric grin, and the LGF took the cork of the heap, pointing at Joe’s chest. Without thinking, Joe dived to the side and waited for the shot that never came. Instead, the green eyebrows went up and the LGF started to vigorously point at the cork and the Joe’s chest, like he’s trying to suggest... some sort of trade?

Suddenly the LGF made a high squeaky sound and a side-panel in the wall of the space-ship glided noiselessly aside, revealing rows after rows of corked bottles of priceless French red wine. Joe didn't rush it, the short time spent with little green men was more than enough to make him cautious, but there was no point in the endless waiting as the only alternative to the first step towards the weirdest wine cellar ever.

He watched the rows pop up and waited for his host to make the first move toward the wine rows. His new green friend though continued to gesticulate with his three spindly, clawed fingers and as he whisked out a corkscrew from a pouch in his belly it finally dawned on Joe, "No opposable thumbs, you slow-witted son of a gun!" Joe grabbed a corkscrew and picked up one of the bottles of red wine to open it before stepping backward quickly.

The LGF erupted in uncontrolled gurgles and twitters, approached the open bottle and gingerly dipped a tentacle-like appendage into the Château Lafite before him. Joe grabbed a second bottle and opened it, irritated that the alien ruined a perfectly good bottle of wine by sticking his paws into it. There was a second of silence after the popping sound and there was something sinister in that silence, so Joe was not utterly surprised when the sound of what seemed like hundreds of little feet filled the room and he found himself one blink away from the charging crowd of little green men, with their appendages writhing in the air.

"What?? He stuck his fingers in the wine. I'm not drinking something someone else stuck their fingers in." Joe said agitatedly, not willing to let his caution override his ego.


#55    Antimony

Antimony

    Her Most Delicious Purpleness

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Posted 09 June 2010 - 09:09 PM

Chapter II

Joe woke up an hour later with a splitting migraine and a voice in his head said, "Ahh, you're awake. But...I don't think you're in Kansas anymore" as, through the haze of his slowly returning consciousness he heard a low, electric humming and felt shuddering, rhythmic vibrations beneath his body.

A little dazed he looked around but he was still groggy. He was in a dark cave under the ground with a light shining from above. . . it was a hole and he could see the sky through it. Or that's what he thought at first, until he realized that the walls of this "cave" were made out of a metal-like material and that the stars were streaking past the opening above him at vertiginous speed. Joe freaked out and ran around banging on the walls, screaming "LET ME OUT OF HERE YOU LITTLE GREEN FREAKS!!!!!!!" as one of the walls opened a hole in it and one of the aforementioned LFGs walked into the room.

If only he’d say, something, anything, but even his face was completely expressionless, as he started to pull out things out of his pockets with serenity of everyday routine, until there was a small but amazingly chaotic heap on the floor, allowing Joe to recognize just few items, pen, lighter, cork, candy wrapper, card, lost in god knows what else in that surreal mess that could offer no meaning to the sane mind. Who is this guy, MacGyver? Joe thought as he watched the LGF, wondering if maybe he could use any of those items himself. But the so far expressionless face transformed into asymmetric grin, and the LGF took the cork of the heap, pointing at Joe’s chest. Without thinking, Joe dived to the side and waited for the shot that never came. Instead, the green eyebrows went up and the LGF started to vigorously point at the cork and the Joe’s chest, like he’s trying to suggest... some sort of trade?

Suddenly the LGF made a high squeaky sound and a side-panel in the wall of the space-ship glided noiselessly aside, revealing rows after rows of corked bottles of priceless French red wine. Joe didn't rush it, the short time spent with little green men was more than enough to make him cautious, but there was no point in the endless waiting as the only alternative to the first step towards the weirdest wine cellar ever.

He watched the rows pop up and waited for his host to make the first move toward the wine rows. His new green friend though continued to gesticulate with his three spindly, clawed fingers and as he whisked out a corkscrew from a pouch in his belly it finally dawned on Joe, "No opposable thumbs, you slow-witted son of a gun!" Joe grabbed a corkscrew and picked up one of the bottles of red wine to open it before stepping backward quickly.

The LGF erupted in uncontrolled gurgles and twitters, approached the open bottle and gingerly dipped a tentacle-like appendage into the Château Lafite before him. Joe grabbed a second bottle and opened it, irritated that the alien ruined a perfectly good bottle of wine by sticking his paws into it. There was a second of silence after the popping sound and there was something sinister in that silence, so Joe was not utterly surprised when the sound of what seemed like hundreds of little feet filled the room and he found himself one blink away from the charging crowd of little green men, with their appendages writhing in the air.

"What?? He stuck his fingers in the wine. I'm not drinking something someone else stuck their fingers in." Joe said agitatedly, not willing to let his caution override his ego. He needn't have worried; in the ensuing chaos of celebrating, twittering and wine-slurping the increasingly merry Kumquats couldn't have cared less whether he joined them or not.

Posted Image
Claudine went to the Ladies to power her nose.

#56    J.B.

J.B.

    Alien Abducter

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  • Deadpan snarker in your midst: Jokers beware. I eat jokes for fun and spit out seriousness just because that's how I roll. :P

Posted 09 June 2010 - 10:35 PM

Chapter II

Joe woke up an hour later with a splitting migraine and a voice in his head said, "Ahh, you're awake. But...I don't think you're in Kansas anymore" as, through the haze of his slowly returning consciousness he heard a low, electric humming and felt shuddering, rhythmic vibrations beneath his body.

A little dazed he looked around but he was still groggy. He was in a dark cave under the ground with a light shining from above. . . it was a hole and he could see the sky through it. Or that's what he thought at first, until he realized that the walls of this "cave" were made out of a metal-like material and that the stars were streaking past the opening above him at vertiginous speed. Joe freaked out and ran around banging on the walls, screaming "LET ME OUT OF HERE YOU LITTLE GREEN FREAKS!!!!!!!" as one of the walls opened a hole in it and one of the aforementioned LFGs walked into the room.

If only he’d say, something, anything, but even his face was completely expressionless, as he started to pull out things out of his pockets with serenity of everyday routine, until there was a small but amazingly chaotic heap on the floor, allowing Joe to recognize just few items, pen, lighter, cork, candy wrapper, card, lost in god knows what else in that surreal mess that could offer no meaning to the sane mind. Who is this guy, MacGyver? Joe thought as he watched the LGF, wondering if maybe he could use any of those items himself. But the so far expressionless face transformed into asymmetric grin, and the LGF took the cork of the heap, pointing at Joe’s chest. Without thinking, Joe dived to the side and waited for the shot that never came. Instead, the green eyebrows went up and the LGF started to vigorously point at the cork and the Joe’s chest, like he’s trying to suggest... some sort of trade?

Suddenly the LGF made a high squeaky sound and a side-panel in the wall of the space-ship glided noiselessly aside, revealing rows after rows of corked bottles of priceless French red wine. Joe didn't rush it, the short time spent with little green men was more than enough to make him cautious, but there was no point in the endless waiting as the only alternative to the first step towards the weirdest wine cellar ever.

He watched the rows pop up and waited for his host to make the first move toward the wine rows. His new green friend though continued to gesticulate with his three spindly, clawed fingers and as he whisked out a corkscrew from a pouch in his belly it finally dawned on Joe, "No opposable thumbs, you slow-witted son of a gun!" Joe grabbed a corkscrew and picked up one of the bottles of red wine to open it before stepping backward quickly.

The LGF erupted in uncontrolled gurgles and twitters, approached the open bottle and gingerly dipped a tentacle-like appendage into the Château Lafite before him. Joe grabbed a second bottle and opened it, irritated that the alien ruined a perfectly good bottle of wine by sticking his paws into it. There was a second of silence after the popping sound and there was something sinister in that silence, so Joe was not utterly surprised when the sound of what seemed like hundreds of little feet filled the room and he found himself one blink away from the charging crowd of little green men, with their appendages writhing in the air.

"What?? He stuck his fingers in the wine. I'm not drinking something someone else stuck their fingers in." Joe said agitatedly, not willing to let his caution override his ego. He needn't have worried; in the ensuing chaos of celebrating, twittering and wine-slurping the increasingly merry Kumquats couldn't have cared less whether he joined them or not. Calmed down a little from seeing the LGFs partying, Joe took a cautious sip from the bottle he opened.


#57    Antimony

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Posted 10 June 2010 - 02:13 AM

Chapter II

Joe woke up an hour later with a splitting migraine and a voice in his head said, "Ahh, you're awake. But...I don't think you're in Kansas anymore" as, through the haze of his slowly returning consciousness he heard a low, electric humming and felt shuddering, rhythmic vibrations beneath his body.

A little dazed he looked around but he was still groggy. He was in a dark cave under the ground with a light shining from above. . . it was a hole and he could see the sky through it. Or that's what he thought at first, until he realized that the walls of this "cave" were made out of a metal-like material and that the stars were streaking past the opening above him at vertiginous speed. Joe freaked out and ran around banging on the walls, screaming "LET ME OUT OF HERE YOU LITTLE GREEN FREAKS!!!!!!!" as one of the walls opened a hole in it and one of the aforementioned LFGs walked into the room.

If only he’d say, something, anything, but even his face was completely expressionless, as he started to pull out things out of his pockets with serenity of everyday routine, until there was a small but amazingly chaotic heap on the floor, allowing Joe to recognize just few items, pen, lighter, cork, candy wrapper, card, lost in god knows what else in that surreal mess that could offer no meaning to the sane mind. Who is this guy, MacGyver? Joe thought as he watched the LGF, wondering if maybe he could use any of those items himself. But the so far expressionless face transformed into asymmetric grin, and the LGF took the cork of the heap, pointing at Joe’s chest. Without thinking, Joe dived to the side and waited for the shot that never came. Instead, the green eyebrows went up and the LGF started to vigorously point at the cork and the Joe’s chest, like he’s trying to suggest... some sort of trade?

Suddenly the LGF made a high squeaky sound and a side-panel in the wall of the space-ship glided noiselessly aside, revealing rows after rows of corked bottles of priceless French red wine. Joe didn't rush it, the short time spent with little green men was more than enough to make him cautious, but there was no point in the endless waiting as the only alternative to the first step towards the weirdest wine cellar ever.

He watched the rows pop up and waited for his host to make the first move toward the wine rows. His new green friend though continued to gesticulate with his three spindly, clawed fingers and as he whisked out a corkscrew from a pouch in his belly it finally dawned on Joe, "No opposable thumbs, you slow-witted son of a gun!" Joe grabbed a corkscrew and picked up one of the bottles of red wine to open it before stepping backward quickly.

The LGF erupted in uncontrolled gurgles and twitters, approached the open bottle and gingerly dipped a tentacle-like appendage into the Château Lafite before him. Joe grabbed a second bottle and opened it, irritated that the alien ruined a perfectly good bottle of wine by sticking his paws into it. There was a second of silence after the popping sound and there was something sinister in that silence, so Joe was not utterly surprised when the sound of what seemed like hundreds of little feet filled the room and he found himself one blink away from the charging crowd of little green men, with their appendages writhing in the air.

"What?? He stuck his fingers in the wine. I'm not drinking something someone else stuck their fingers in." Joe said agitatedly, not willing to let his caution override his ego. He needn't have worried; in the ensuing chaos of celebrating, twittering and wine-slurping the increasingly merry Kumquats couldn't have cared less whether he joined them or not. Calmed down a little from seeing the LGFs partying, Joe took a cautious sip from the bottle he opened. "Oh yes", he sighed, "that brew is well worth a little alien abduction."

Posted Image
Claudine went to the Ladies to power her nose.

#58    J.B.

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Posted 10 June 2010 - 02:39 AM

Chapter II

Joe woke up an hour later with a splitting migraine and a voice in his head said, "Ahh, you're awake. But...I don't think you're in Kansas anymore" as, through the haze of his slowly returning consciousness he heard a low, electric humming and felt shuddering, rhythmic vibrations beneath his body.

A little dazed he looked around but he was still groggy. He was in a dark cave under the ground with a light shining from above. . . it was a hole and he could see the sky through it. Or that's what he thought at first, until he realized that the walls of this "cave" were made out of a metal-like material and that the stars were streaking past the opening above him at vertiginous speed. Joe freaked out and ran around banging on the walls, screaming "LET ME OUT OF HERE YOU LITTLE GREEN FREAKS!!!!!!!" as one of the walls opened a hole in it and one of the aforementioned LFGs walked into the room.

If only he’d say, something, anything, but even his face was completely expressionless, as he started to pull out things out of his pockets with serenity of everyday routine, until there was a small but amazingly chaotic heap on the floor, allowing Joe to recognize just few items, pen, lighter, cork, candy wrapper, card, lost in god knows what else in that surreal mess that could offer no meaning to the sane mind. Who is this guy, MacGyver? Joe thought as he watched the LGF, wondering if maybe he could use any of those items himself. But the so far expressionless face transformed into asymmetric grin, and the LGF took the cork of the heap, pointing at Joe’s chest. Without thinking, Joe dived to the side and waited for the shot that never came. Instead, the green eyebrows went up and the LGF started to vigorously point at the cork and the Joe’s chest, like he’s trying to suggest... some sort of trade?

Suddenly the LGF made a high squeaky sound and a side-panel in the wall of the space-ship glided noiselessly aside, revealing rows after rows of corked bottles of priceless French red wine. Joe didn't rush it, the short time spent with little green men was more than enough to make him cautious, but there was no point in the endless waiting as the only alternative to the first step towards the weirdest wine cellar ever.

He watched the rows pop up and waited for his host to make the first move toward the wine rows. His new green friend though continued to gesticulate with his three spindly, clawed fingers and as he whisked out a corkscrew from a pouch in his belly it finally dawned on Joe, "No opposable thumbs, you slow-witted son of a gun!" Joe grabbed a corkscrew and picked up one of the bottles of red wine to open it before stepping backward quickly.

The LGF erupted in uncontrolled gurgles and twitters, approached the open bottle and gingerly dipped a tentacle-like appendage into the Château Lafite before him. Joe grabbed a second bottle and opened it, irritated that the alien ruined a perfectly good bottle of wine by sticking his paws into it. There was a second of silence after the popping sound and there was something sinister in that silence, so Joe was not utterly surprised when the sound of what seemed like hundreds of little feet filled the room and he found himself one blink away from the charging crowd of little green men, with their appendages writhing in the air.

"What?? He stuck his fingers in the wine. I'm not drinking something someone else stuck their fingers in." Joe said agitatedly, not willing to let his caution override his ego. He needn't have worried; in the ensuing chaos of celebrating, twittering and wine-slurping the increasingly merry Kumquats couldn't have cared less whether he joined them or not. Calmed down a little from seeing the LGFs partying, Joe took a cautious sip from the bottle he opened. "Oh yes", he sighed, "that brew is well worth a little alien abduction."

One of the aliens looked over at Joe, who was now tilting his head back and swigging the wine like an alcoholic, and started jabbering before copycatting his moves.


#59    Helen of Annoy

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Posted 10 June 2010 - 03:25 PM

Chapter II

Joe woke up an hour later with a splitting migraine and a voice in his head said, "Ahh, you're awake. But...I don't think you're in Kansas anymore" as, through the haze of his slowly returning consciousness he heard a low, electric humming and felt shuddering, rhythmic vibrations beneath his body.

A little dazed he looked around but he was still groggy. He was in a dark cave under the ground with a light shining from above. . . it was a hole and he could see the sky through it. Or that's what he thought at first, until he realized that the walls of this "cave" were made out of a metal-like material and that the stars were streaking past the opening above him at vertiginous speed. Joe freaked out and ran around banging on the walls, screaming "LET ME OUT OF HERE YOU LITTLE GREEN FREAKS!!!!!!!" as one of the walls opened a hole in it and one of the aforementioned LFGs walked into the room.

If only he’d say, something, anything, but even his face was completely expressionless, as he started to pull out things out of his pockets with serenity of everyday routine, until there was a small but amazingly chaotic heap on the floor, allowing Joe to recognize just few items, pen, lighter, cork, candy wrapper, card, lost in god knows what else in that surreal mess that could offer no meaning to the sane mind. Who is this guy, MacGyver? Joe thought as he watched the LGF, wondering if maybe he could use any of those items himself. But the so far expressionless face transformed into asymmetric grin, and the LGF took the cork of the heap, pointing at Joe’s chest. Without thinking, Joe dived to the side and waited for the shot that never came. Instead, the green eyebrows went up and the LGF started to vigorously point at the cork and the Joe’s chest, like he’s trying to suggest... some sort of trade?

Suddenly the LGF made a high squeaky sound and a side-panel in the wall of the space-ship glided noiselessly aside, revealing rows after rows of corked bottles of priceless French red wine. Joe didn't rush it, the short time spent with little green men was more than enough to make him cautious, but there was no point in the endless waiting as the only alternative to the first step towards the weirdest wine cellar ever.

He watched the rows pop up and waited for his host to make the first move toward the wine rows. His new green friend though continued to gesticulate with his three spindly, clawed fingers and as he whisked out a corkscrew from a pouch in his belly it finally dawned on Joe, "No opposable thumbs, you slow-witted son of a gun!" Joe grabbed a corkscrew and picked up one of the bottles of red wine to open it before stepping backward quickly.

The LGF erupted in uncontrolled gurgles and twitters, approached the open bottle and gingerly dipped a tentacle-like appendage into the Château Lafite before him. Joe grabbed a second bottle and opened it, irritated that the alien ruined a perfectly good bottle of wine by sticking his paws into it. There was a second of silence after the popping sound and there was something sinister in that silence, so Joe was not utterly surprised when the sound of what seemed like hundreds of little feet filled the room and he found himself one blink away from the charging crowd of little green men, with their appendages writhing in the air.

"What?? He stuck his fingers in the wine. I'm not drinking something someone else stuck their fingers in." Joe said agitatedly, not willing to let his caution override his ego. He needn't have worried; in the ensuing chaos of celebrating, twittering and wine-slurping the increasingly merry Kumquats couldn't have cared less whether he joined them or not. Calmed down a little from seeing the LGFs partying, Joe took a cautious sip from the bottle he opened. "Oh yes", he sighed, "that brew is well worth a little alien abduction."

One of the aliens looked over at Joe, who was now tilting his head back and swigging the wine like an alcoholic, and started jabbering before copycatting his moves. Maybe their alien gods know why they gave Kumquats the appendages too, but they certainly were able to swallow like any decent human... strike that “decent”, the little freak was gulping and burping so shamelessly Joe felt a sting of humiliation, and since other Kumquats followed the exaple and started to imitate him, he felt the anger taking over.

Posted Image

Have I ever lost the plot while reading one of your posts?
The will to live maybe, but not the plot...  -  Junior Chubb

#60    J.B.

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Posted 10 June 2010 - 09:29 PM

Chapter II

Joe woke up an hour later with a splitting migraine and a voice in his head said, "Ahh, you're awake. But...I don't think you're in Kansas anymore" as, through the haze of his slowly returning consciousness he heard a low, electric humming and felt shuddering, rhythmic vibrations beneath his body.

A little dazed he looked around but he was still groggy. He was in a dark cave under the ground with a light shining from above. . . it was a hole and he could see the sky through it. Or that's what he thought at first, until he realized that the walls of this "cave" were made out of a metal-like material and that the stars were streaking past the opening above him at vertiginous speed. Joe freaked out and ran around banging on the walls, screaming "LET ME OUT OF HERE YOU LITTLE GREEN FREAKS!!!!!!!" as one of the walls opened a hole in it and one of the aforementioned LFGs walked into the room.

If only he’d say, something, anything, but even his face was completely expressionless, as he started to pull out things out of his pockets with serenity of everyday routine, until there was a small but amazingly chaotic heap on the floor, allowing Joe to recognize just few items, pen, lighter, cork, candy wrapper, card, lost in god knows what else in that surreal mess that could offer no meaning to the sane mind. Who is this guy, MacGyver? Joe thought as he watched the LGF, wondering if maybe he could use any of those items himself. But the so far expressionless face transformed into asymmetric grin, and the LGF took the cork of the heap, pointing at Joe’s chest. Without thinking, Joe dived to the side and waited for the shot that never came. Instead, the green eyebrows went up and the LGF started to vigorously point at the cork and the Joe’s chest, like he’s trying to suggest... some sort of trade?

Suddenly the LGF made a high squeaky sound and a side-panel in the wall of the space-ship glided noiselessly aside, revealing rows after rows of corked bottles of priceless French red wine. Joe didn't rush it, the short time spent with little green men was more than enough to make him cautious, but there was no point in the endless waiting as the only alternative to the first step towards the weirdest wine cellar ever.

He watched the rows pop up and waited for his host to make the first move toward the wine rows. His new green friend though continued to gesticulate with his three spindly, clawed fingers and as he whisked out a corkscrew from a pouch in his belly it finally dawned on Joe, "No opposable thumbs, you slow-witted son of a gun!" Joe grabbed a corkscrew and picked up one of the bottles of red wine to open it before stepping backward quickly.

The LGF erupted in uncontrolled gurgles and twitters, approached the open bottle and gingerly dipped a tentacle-like appendage into the Château Lafite before him. Joe grabbed a second bottle and opened it, irritated that the alien ruined a perfectly good bottle of wine by sticking his paws into it. There was a second of silence after the popping sound and there was something sinister in that silence, so Joe was not utterly surprised when the sound of what seemed like hundreds of little feet filled the room and he found himself one blink away from the charging crowd of little green men, with their appendages writhing in the air.

"What?? He stuck his fingers in the wine. I'm not drinking something someone else stuck their fingers in." Joe said agitatedly, not willing to let his caution override his ego. He needn't have worried; in the ensuing chaos of celebrating, twittering and wine-slurping the increasingly merry Kumquats couldn't have cared less whether he joined them or not. Calmed down a little from seeing the LGFs partying, Joe took a cautious sip from the bottle he opened. "Oh yes", he sighed, "that brew is well worth a little alien abduction."

One of the aliens looked over at Joe, who was now tilting his head back and swigging the wine like an alcoholic, and started jabbering before copycatting his moves. Maybe their alien gods know why they gave Kumquats the appendages too, but they certainly were able to swallow like any decent human... strike that “decent”, the little freak was gulping and burping so shamelessly Joe felt a sting of humiliation, and since other Kumquats followed the example and started to imitate him, he felt the anger taking over. Joe hurled his now empty bottle to the ground and it shattered into a million pieces all over the floor with a tinkling crash. . . which was repeated hundreds of times as the LGFs all mimicked him.





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