From time to time I have revisited this experience and thought about it. However, a recent experience from the summer of 2009 has shed some light on it. As I mentioned in the original post, I have bipolar I. Things were not going well around spring of last year. I went off my medications for a few months and had another psychotic episode, leading to a few weeks in a Christian mental hospital.
The episode had a pleasant nature, compared to a very dark one I had post the succubus experience. I felt quite euphoric, and time flowed seamlessly, with purpose. I cannot explain very well the world of my perceptions. Patients and staff finished each other’s sentences, people interacted with what I was thinking, and there were strong religious elements to it as well. All sorts of things were happening, and something was constantly going on. Also, the episode was tied deeply with the first episode I had, with similar themes and characters.
Mind you I only saw real people and real things, but the context was off and my mind was awry. I read over my hospital records to try and make sense of what happened, and it seemed as though I was reading someone else’s chart compared to what I remembered. When I thought I was walking around and talking to other people, I was actually writing about a young lady I was obsessed about 6 years ago, right after the first incident.
I failed to mention in the original post that the succubus 6 years ago had me do a ritual and told me to repeat something in a tongue I did not recognize or understand. After that I felt strongly for the young lady. Apparently, I had strong feelings built up for her still until my break last summer.
This succubus experience was destructive in the long run. Some people mentioned that it could be angelic or maybe the spirit of wisdom, but it seems clear to me that it was something evil. I believe that succubus opened doors in my first psychotic break that caused much pain and suffering during the break and after.
I will always struggle with these events. My mind broke; my mind remembers a shocking world. I believe I experienced healing in that hospital through the work of good people and by God’s graces. I’m doing much better now, and God can use these events for good.
Thank you for reading,
Edited by Paranormalcy, 13 June 2010 - 10:58 AM.