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[Archived] Make up a lie about poster above


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#4951    OverSword

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Posted 07 December 2012 - 05:14 PM

Helen of Annoy is terribly embarrased by her smelly feet.  She won a free all expense paid trip to Mazatlan and when they made her take off her shoes for the security check at the airport she was tackled by Homeland Security because they thought she was a terrorist using gas to kill people.  Fortunately only one elderly person had actually died evry one else was just knocked out by the fumes.


#4952    Simbi Laveau

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Posted 07 December 2012 - 05:16 PM

Anything for you Helen bebe.
I will use the jelli molds .

And Helen has been on Jerry Springer .It was one of those episodes where some slutty stripper,steals a doody looking guy with three teeth ,from his very loyal girlfriend .
I won't say which of the three she is,but you can guess ;)

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#4953    Helen of Annoy

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Posted 07 December 2012 - 05:22 PM

Oh, come on, it’s obvious... You stole me from OverSword.

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#4954    joc

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Posted 08 December 2012 - 05:05 AM

Helen is so confused.  She got all dolled up and went to Victoria Secret's.  The sales clerk asked, 'Excuse me Sir, could I help you pick out something for your wife?' (must have been the mustache)  Then she went to the lady's bathroom in the mall and security was called to 'get that man out of the lady's room'!

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#4955    Helen of Annoy

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Posted 08 December 2012 - 02:56 PM

It’s close to my annual facial hair trim time, so kids don’t call me “Santa”, god damn it, and this year I’m collecting it and donating to joc, because he often complains he might die before he finds out what it feels like to be a man.
There, I’ll solve the beard part, you save some money and solve the other *wink, wink, nudge, nudge* part of the manliness mystery. And don't go for the cheapest, five minutes... three, in your case... of pleasure is not worth six months scratching before you can't take it anymore and buy some antibiotics on the Internet, thus ending up in the hospital where you should have went half year ago. Better late than never.

joc also sucks his thumb. Only in his sleep, to be fair, he can controll it while he's awake. Which is not something that rare, but sure is embarrassing when you start sharing a room with people that are not your siblings.

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#4956    Simbi Laveau

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Posted 08 December 2012 - 06:46 PM

Helen also sucks thumbs ,just not her own . She's only been arrested for it once ,as the woman in the diner freaked out when Helen clamped down on her thumb ,while she was eating a piece of cherry pie .
She did once do it to oversword ,but he just dismissed it as bad aim due to her poor eyesight .

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#4957    ealdwita

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Posted 08 December 2012 - 07:30 PM

Thumb? Helen sucks her own tentacles!

"Gæð a wyrd swa hio scel, ac gecnáwan þín gefá!": "Fate goes ever as she shall, but know thine enemy!".
I can teach you with a quip, if I've a mind; I can trick you into learning with a laugh; Oh, winnow all my folly and you'll find, A grain or two of truth among the chaff!
(The Yeoman of the Guard ~ Gilbert and Sullivan)

#4958    Helen of Annoy

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Posted 08 December 2012 - 07:43 PM

Look who’s talking... until your dentures are back from repair, you’ll do nothing but suck and remember nostalgically how great it was before you broke your social insurance provided teeth.

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#4959    Simbi Laveau

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Posted 08 December 2012 - 07:48 PM

OH THE BARBS !

Just for that ...

ealdwita actually has tentacles .They are easily concealed under multiple layers of clothes ,and it absolutely burns his suckers,that despite what a loose woman Helen is,she won't touch a one of his tentacles ,even though he begs .

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#4960    Helen of Annoy

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Posted 08 December 2012 - 08:06 PM

Simbi knows far too much about clothed suckers issue.
That’s why she’s one of the most active activists in “free suckers” movement, that promotes letting all your tentacles hang out.
It’s a scientific fact that aired tentacles are less prone to develop suspicious odours and thus attract flies. It helps avoid confusion and false advertising accusations, since people, when you say “attract flies”, don't expect tentacles. They expect honey, of course.
(You thought I'll say ****, huh? I'm not that crude, for ****'s sake.)


Edit: dropped by by mistake and saw a letter missing... being epically OCDed, like most vampires, I had to correct it.

Edited by Helen of Annoy, 08 December 2012 - 08:46 PM.

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#4961    Simbi Laveau

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Posted 09 December 2012 - 12:58 AM

Oh Helen ,you ..a vampire ? Oh ,no .
Stuck *in* mire perhaps .....

Yes,Helen is fond of mud wrestling ,and chocolate pudding wrestling ,branston pickle and vegimite wrestling .
Haopus like the vegimite wrestling best,because after she loses,she let's him lick her clean .
Helen likes the chocolate pudding wrestling best ,because then she can lick herself clean ,but numerous UK football clubs like the branston pickle wrestling best ,because the entire team gets a free meal off Helens back ,and thensome .


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#4962    ealdwita

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Posted 09 December 2012 - 12:35 PM

Simbi has a dangerous imagination (or is it imagination?)

"Gæð a wyrd swa hio scel, ac gecnáwan þín gefá!": "Fate goes ever as she shall, but know thine enemy!".
I can teach you with a quip, if I've a mind; I can trick you into learning with a laugh; Oh, winnow all my folly and you'll find, A grain or two of truth among the chaff!
(The Yeoman of the Guard ~ Gilbert and Sullivan)

#4963    Feebs

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Posted 09 December 2012 - 01:36 PM

ealdwita's mind ran away with the fair x

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#4964    joc

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Posted 09 December 2012 - 04:58 PM

Feebs was hitchhiking home one day and when she got into a car full of clowns she suddenly realized that she had inadvertently joined the circus.

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#4965    Feebs

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Posted 09 December 2012 - 05:00 PM

joc made me do it...he said if i didnt he would show his hairy bum to my mum and that is just unthinkable x

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