Helen of Annoy is terribly embarrased by her smelly feet. She won a free all expense paid trip to Mazatlan and when they made her take off her shoes for the security check at the airport she was tackled by Homeland Security because they thought she was a terrorist using gas to kill people. Fortunately only one elderly person had actually died evry one else was just knocked out by the fumes.
Anything for you Helen bebe.
I will use the jelli molds .
And Helen has been on Jerry Springer .It was one of those episodes where some slutty stripper,steals a doody looking guy with three teeth ,from his very loyal girlfriend .
I won't say which of the three she is,but you can guess
They're wearing steel that's bright and true
They carry news that must get through
They choose the path where no-one goes
Posted 08 December 2012 - 05:05 AM
Helen is so confused. She got all dolled up and went to Victoria Secret's. The sales clerk asked, 'Excuse me Sir, could I help you pick out something for your wife?' (must have been the mustache) Then she went to the lady's bathroom in the mall and security was called to 'get that man out of the lady's room'!
once i believed that starlight could guide me home
now i know that light is old and stars are cold
It’s close to my annual facial hair trim time, so kids don’t call me “Santa”, god damn it, and this year I’m collecting it and donating to joc, because he often complains he might die before he finds out what it feels like to be a man.
There, I’ll solve the beard part, you save some money and solve the other *wink, wink, nudge, nudge* part of the manliness mystery. And don't go for the cheapest, five minutes... three, in your case... of pleasure is not worth six months scratching before you can't take it anymore and buy some antibiotics on the Internet, thus ending up in the hospital where you should have went half year ago. Better late than never.
joc also sucks his thumb. Only in his sleep, to be fair, he can controll it while he's awake. Which is not something that rare, but sure is embarrassing when you start sharing a room with people that are not your siblings.
Helen also sucks thumbs ,just not her own . She's only been arrested for it once ,as the woman in the diner freaked out when Helen clamped down on her thumb ,while she was eating a piece of cherry pie .
She did once do it to oversword ,but he just dismissed it as bad aim due to her poor eyesight .
ealdwita actually has tentacles .They are easily concealed under multiple layers of clothes ,and it absolutely burns his suckers,that despite what a loose woman Helen is,she won't touch a one of his tentacles ,even though he begs .
Simbi knows far too much about clothed suckers issue.
That’s why she’s one of the most active activists in “free suckers” movement, that promotes letting all your tentacles hang out.
It’s a scientific fact that aired tentacles are less prone to develop suspicious odours and thus attract flies. It helps avoid confusion and false advertising accusations, since people, when you say “attract flies”, don't expect tentacles. They expect honey, of course.
(You thought I'll say ****, huh? I'm not that crude, for ****'s sake.)
Edit: dropped by by mistake and saw a letter missing... being epically OCDed, like most vampires, I had to correct it.
Edited by Helen of Annoy, 08 December 2012 - 08:46 PM.
Oh Helen ,you ..a vampire ? Oh ,no .
Stuck *in* mire perhaps .....
Yes,Helen is fond of mud wrestling ,and chocolate pudding wrestling ,branston pickle and vegimite wrestling .
Haopus like the vegimite wrestling best,because after she loses,she let's him lick her clean .
Helen likes the chocolate pudding wrestling best ,because then she can lick herself clean ,but numerous UK football clubs like the branston pickle wrestling best ,because the entire team gets a free meal off Helens back ,and thensome .