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[Archived] Make up a lie about poster above


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#5221    Helen of Annoy

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Posted 05 January 2013 - 05:39 PM

It was not my fault. You overdid it. I said “slap the judge with this octopus” not “slap him with this octopus repeatedly until he falls down, then put a foot on his chest and spin the octopus in the air in triumphant fashion”.
Since judge tried to defend himself by grabbing you by your... ahem... family jewels, and you responded with kicking him in the ribs (points for quick reaction!), tazering was kind of expected.

Edited by Helen of Annoy, 05 January 2013 - 05:40 PM.

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#5222    joc

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Posted 05 January 2013 - 05:50 PM

Maybe, but what I never expected, and what the Bailiff never expected was for you to grab his Tazer Gun and shoot the barbs straight into my forehead...and then you yanked them out, reloaded and shot them into my left ear...I went unconscious at that point...but I was always curious why I had little holes and burn marks on my...uh...privates.

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once i believed that starlight could guide me home
now i know that light is old and stars are cold

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#5223    ealdwita

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Posted 05 January 2013 - 06:54 PM

View Postjoc, on 05 January 2013 - 05:50 PM, said:

Maybe, but what I never expected, and what the Bailiff never expected was for you to grab his Tazer Gun and shoot the barbs straight into my forehead...and then you yanked them out, reloaded and shot them into my left ear...I went unconscious at that point...but I was always curious why I had little holes and burn marks on my...uh...privates.

Everybody congratulated Helen on such fine shooting, especially when you consider how tiny the target was!

"Gæð a wyrd swa hio scel, ac gecnáwan þín gefá!": "Fate goes ever as she shall, but know thine enemy!".
I can teach you with a quip, if I've a mind; I can trick you into learning with a laugh; Oh, winnow all my folly and you'll find, A grain or two of truth among the chaff!
(The Yeoman of the Guard ~ Gilbert and Sullivan)

#5224    SpiritWriter

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Posted 05 January 2013 - 06:59 PM

Ealdwita sleeps in mouse turds. His wife serves him cereal (breakfast in bed) in the morning, he loves it with bananas and raisins.

The letter kills but The Spirit gives life. 2 Corinthians 3:6

Non-ambiguity and non-contradiction are one sided and thus unsuited to express the incomprehensible. -Jung

#5225    SpiritWalker7

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Posted 05 January 2013 - 07:15 PM

SpiritWriter pretends to be a ghost and runs around in sheets with chains.


#5226    joc

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Posted 05 January 2013 - 07:31 PM

NikkiAidyn  pretends to be a Vampire Goddess and goes around biting the unsuspecting on the neck.  :

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once i believed that starlight could guide me home
now i know that light is old and stars are cold

ReverbNation

#5227    Helen of Annoy

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Posted 05 January 2013 - 09:17 PM

And that’s the reason why joc walks around, sleeps, eats and does anything else with his head tilted to one side, accidentally exposing his unsuspecting neck.

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Have I ever lost the plot while reading one of your posts?
The will to live maybe, but not the plot...  -  Junior Chubb

#5228    ouija ouija

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Posted 05 January 2013 - 11:37 PM

Helen has been voted President of her local Women's Institute for the past two decades. Some achievement, you say ........ she must be very popular, you say. No, this is not the case, she holds the position unopposed because of threats made to the other three members invoving the octopus-bashing and taser-shooting mentioned in previous posts.

Life is all too much ............................................. and not enough.

It is only when you form your question precisely and accurately that you receive the true answer.

#5229    PlanB

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Posted 05 January 2013 - 11:51 PM

ouija ouija's favorite band is Duran Duran, favorite city is New York, New York and favorite assassin is Sirhan Sirhan. The last part disturbed me too.


#5230    ouija ouija

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Posted 06 January 2013 - 12:03 AM

View PostPlanB, on 05 January 2013 - 11:51 PM, said:

ouija ouija's favorite band is Duran Duran, favorite city is New York, New York and favorite assassin is Sirhan Sirhan. The last part disturbed me too.

And what, exactly, is wrong with having a favourite assassin? :ph34r:

Life is all too much ............................................. and not enough.

It is only when you form your question precisely and accurately that you receive the true answer.

#5231    joc

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Posted 06 January 2013 - 01:30 AM

View Postouija ouija, on 06 January 2013 - 12:03 AM, said:

And what, exactly, is wrong with having a favourite assassin? :ph34r:
When I was helping ouija ouija write her auto-biography we talked alot about assassins...she mentioned Sirhan Sirhan.  She mentioned several serial killers...and then she started confessing...I don't know why...but she did.  I cannot divulge (because of sworn secrecy) all the details, but I will tell you that she does love New York City and that she had a terrible crush on John Lennon and followed him everywhere...to the point that Yoko Ono had a restraining order against her.

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once i believed that starlight could guide me home
now i know that light is old and stars are cold

ReverbNation

#5232    rrainn

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Posted 06 January 2013 - 03:05 AM

I've heard , from the highest (ha) . yes the top that
  Joc actually thinks that  'Yoko' not only broke up
   john & paul, but all so broke up Martin & Lewis,    as well......... Don't blame me
   if you don't get this ..... :innocent:   geeze , I need a gin w/ a grin.


#5233    joc

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Posted 06 January 2013 - 03:31 AM

rrainn needs a gin like she needs a hole in her head...speaking of holes in heads, rrainn got tired of piercing her ears, eyes, nose and throat and decided to try piercing her head...big mistake.

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once i believed that starlight could guide me home
now i know that light is old and stars are cold

ReverbNation

#5234    Helen of Annoy

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Posted 06 January 2013 - 12:19 PM

Why do you think it was a mistake? Because now she hears the ocean the whole time?

Anyway, joc wanted one of those seashells with the sound of ocean.
Since he had forgotten his wife’s birthday and their anniversary, she was very eager to give him something nice for Christmas. Especially since it was such small, cute and romantic wish.
People at ER are very good in extracting the most unbelievable things and beings out of people’s ears, but never, ever before they had extracted more than 17 live fire ants out of someone’s ear, after cutting off a seashell attached to patient’s head with superglue.

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Have I ever lost the plot while reading one of your posts?
The will to live maybe, but not the plot...  -  Junior Chubb

#5235    Simbi Laveau

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Posted 06 January 2013 - 12:55 PM

Helen was the one that broke up The Spice Girls ,the Back Street Boys ,and The Wu Tang Clan.
.
RZA and Scary Spice threatened to kill her,if their band's didn't reunite .
She used tasers to get the spice girls back together,but its not working with Wu Tang.
RZA put a hit out on Helen ,this is why she wears the hatopus .It's really an elaborate disguise,so she doesn't end up with a cap in her ass.

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