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[Archived] Make up a lie about poster above


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#5371    tipotep

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Posted 24 January 2013 - 11:02 PM

View Postouija ouija, on 24 January 2013 - 08:02 PM, said:

I actually laughed out loud when I read this :lol:

Helen is especially keen that security are called rather than emergency services because she is Head of Security in OverSword's office block ............ :o oops! he wasn't supposed  to know that. Er, too late ..... sorry, Helen :hmm: .
Helen only applied for the job because it means she gets to taser whoever she wants, whenever she wants. In fact she has been known to taser herself in quiet times. Also takes it home with her at weekends.
Ouija has been using her taser for .. well not so savoury uses  , she usually gives herself a zap in the bedroom so she can be an electric charged fornicating machine , unfortunately last time she tried it the result was not as expected , she accidently tased her ear off and now she is having trouble hearing out of the new prosthetic replacement .

Please read the instructions before use :cry:  !

TiP.


#5372    OverSword

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Posted 24 January 2013 - 11:09 PM

Tip is the administrator on a web-site dedicated to alternative sexual kink practices and the safest most discreet ways to satisfy yourself under dangerous conditions and with pokey objects.


#5373    tipotep

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Posted 24 January 2013 - 11:19 PM

View PostOverSword, on 24 January 2013 - 11:09 PM, said:

Tip is the administrator on a web-site dedicated to alternative sexual kink practices and the safest most discreet ways to satisfy yourself under dangerous conditions and with pokey objects.

Oversword happens to be my number 1 customer , his user name is nothingisofflimits . As his user name suggests he buys everything that we have for sale , he has cleaned me out of squash balls and gerbils this month .
You had best keep your ordering to a minimum this month buddy , what is it you do will 100 squash balls a month ?


TiP.


#5374    OverSword

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Posted 24 January 2013 - 11:37 PM

Just check my member page (blush)

Tipoteps user name on his fetish website is 'Granny Packer'  Every year he attends the wrinkle convention in Las Vegas Nevada, BYOC (bring your own crisco)  Every wrinkle is a new experince according to tip.

Here is a picture of his date for 2013
Posted Image
Hot stuff Tip, way better than last year.

Edited by OverSword, 24 January 2013 - 11:37 PM.


#5375    SpiritWriter

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Posted 25 January 2013 - 01:21 AM

This guy picked me up this morning. I was standing on the corner and he just pulled over. Something came over me and I got into the back seat of the car.  I didnt say anything, didnt even smile. He kept looking at me in the rear view mirror. He kinda smiled, kinda blushed and I could hear him in my mind. He was saying "its me! Its Oversword". I could understand him but didnt let on to it. He dropped me off at QFC which was exactly where i was going. And that was it, i didnt say goodbye, i didnt wave, just got out of the car and went into the store. I looked around when I came out but he was gone. Kinda wierd if you ask me...

What was your impression of the experience Oversword?

Edited by SpiritWriter, 25 January 2013 - 01:24 AM.

The letter kills but The Spirit gives life. 2 Corinthians 3:6

Non-ambiguity and non-contradiction are one sided and thus unsuited to express the incomprehensible. -Jung

#5376    tipotep

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Posted 25 January 2013 - 02:33 AM

View PostSpiritWriter, on 25 January 2013 - 01:21 AM, said:

This guy picked me up this morning. I was standing on the corner and he just pulled over. Something came over me and I got into the back seat of the car.  I didnt say anything, didnt even smile. He kept looking at me in the rear view mirror. He kinda smiled, kinda blushed and I could hear him in my mind. He was saying "its me! Its Oversword". I could understand him but didnt let on to it. He dropped me off at QFC which was exactly where i was going. And that was it, i didnt say goodbye, i didnt wave, just got out of the car and went into the store. I looked around when I came out but he was gone. Kinda wierd if you ask me...

What was your impression of the experience Oversword?

SpiritWriter was indeed standing on the corner ... but why you may ask ?

She was waiting for someone to come along ( anyone ) and it just happened to be OverSword on this way back from the post office , he was picking up his latest delivery of products from " TipsToys "  . Once SpiritWriter found out that OverSword was packing all manner of wild accessories the gloves came off .

It was like a scene from UFC84 , there was claret flying all over the place  , In the end OverSword had to hand over half of his delivery and he also had to walk home wearing  his gimp costume and nothing else .

TiP.


#5377    SpiritWriter

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Posted 25 January 2013 - 02:52 AM

And tip knows this because he was a bug on the dashboard.. now he's a bug in the computer. :D

The letter kills but The Spirit gives life. 2 Corinthians 3:6

Non-ambiguity and non-contradiction are one sided and thus unsuited to express the incomprehensible. -Jung

#5378    OverSword

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Posted 25 January 2013 - 03:55 PM

Oh I'm so tempted to dive int the realm of inappropriateness right now.

When spirit writer climbed into the back seat of my car uninvited I thought I was a dead man.  I'm thinking 'Crazy lady in the back seat, probably got a gun, I'm dead, I wish I told my mother I loved her the last time we spoke'  Then when I stopped at the light near the QFC (that's a grocery store in the state of Washington for all you foriegners) she got out and went shopping.  I didn't know until I read the post it was SW trying to project her thoughts into my mind.  If I had known it was her I would have told her I would be at the Rock Box around 5:30 or 6:00 tonite with some co-workers.


#5379    Helen of Annoy

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Posted 25 January 2013 - 05:12 PM

OverSword had to clean his house expecting the paranormality to escalate into a date with SpiritWriter. Because if she accepts the innocent invitation to a late cup of cafe late... you can’t let her walk into gerbil infested storage of balls, rubber dolls dressed up into... ahem.
So he brought his gerbils to work, claiming they will boost productivity by making people scream and jump on chairs and desks. Nothing helps the working atmosphere like sudden rodent touch on and up your leg.
Rest of the gear made to the top 5 strangest donations to Red Cross, but not to the no.1.



Edit: caffe latte. languages had a little fight inside my brain.

Edited by Helen of Annoy, 25 January 2013 - 05:14 PM.

Posted Image

Have I ever lost the plot while reading one of your posts?
The will to live maybe, but not the plot...  -  Junior Chubb

#5380    OverSword

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Posted 25 January 2013 - 05:34 PM

Yeah, that was pretty passive aggressive of me wasn't it...I now feel like less than a real man.


Helen of Annoy built a jetpack because she's tired of being shorter than everyone all the time.


#5381    PlanB

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Posted 25 January 2013 - 06:43 PM

OverSword once had a book signing at Barnes & Noble. It took security over an hour for them to realize that he wasn't actually JK Rowling before they kicked him out. His terrible English accent gave it away.


#5382    Helen of Annoy

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Posted 25 January 2013 - 07:56 PM

If PlanB fails, PlanC starts with French accent and goes full speed in reverse.

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Have I ever lost the plot while reading one of your posts?
The will to live maybe, but not the plot...  -  Junior Chubb

#5383    SpiritWriter

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Posted 25 January 2013 - 10:08 PM

Helens octopus hasnt reached her full spiritual awareness yet but helen keeps trying to get her there.

Oh and thanks oversword for not going into the realm of inappropriatness I knew I was setting myself up, but I still liked the story.. (pretend like this text is smaller)

The letter kills but The Spirit gives life. 2 Corinthians 3:6

Non-ambiguity and non-contradiction are one sided and thus unsuited to express the incomprehensible. -Jung

#5384    ouija ouija

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Posted 26 January 2013 - 10:32 PM

SpiritWriter actually lives in The Realm of Innapropriateness. Only women are allowed in there and she would have been in a lot of trouble if OverSword had marched in, bottle of cheap red plonk in one hand, cheap red flowers from the local service station in the other, asking for her. The Realm of I. is completely teetotal and has aspirations to be classy ....... so service station flowers definitely NOT acceptable.

What, in all the world, could I do to earn my living and still live as myself, as I knew myself to be? Temporary masks, I knew, had their place; everyone was wearing them, they were the human rage; but not masks cemented in place until the wearer could not breathe and was eventually suffocated.

#5385    SpiritWriter

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Posted 27 January 2013 - 02:40 AM

Ouija has tempted to venture into my realm and has only been succesful three times. I have recently put down the torch and handed it to helen (not oversword or any other man of course), and because of this I cannot get into the specifics (or complications) of those particular matters.

Edited by SpiritWriter, 27 January 2013 - 02:41 AM.

The letter kills but The Spirit gives life. 2 Corinthians 3:6

Non-ambiguity and non-contradiction are one sided and thus unsuited to express the incomprehensible. -Jung