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[Archived] Make up a lie about poster above


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#5401    Helen of Annoy

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Posted 30 January 2013 - 05:28 PM

Actually, I was after the snickers bar and you were only collateral damage.
Sorry.
But screw snickers, SpiritWriter has few really juicy stories conveniently forgotten in her shady past. For example, did you know she once wrestled a bear in an effort to enter the circus tent without paying?
It was a tie, mostly because the bear didn’t want to hurt her and she didn’t want to give up, but still the circus people were impressed and offered her a job. So she went away with the circus, fell in love with contortionist twins and had triplets. Twins agreed each is the father of one child, based on eyes - one had chronic eye inflamation so he naturally was the father of the uglier kid, but the third kid they couldn't decide upon, especially since it was so hairy and unbendable.

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#5402    PlanB

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Posted 30 January 2013 - 07:08 PM

Helen was also at the circus and known as The Bearded Lady. Children from all across big top would plead with their parents to go see the freakish furry-faced anomaly. Most parents refused in an effort to shield their children from this tragically hirsute abomination and mistake of God. Helen would've loved all of the attention if she was actually part of the show and not just another visiting patron like everyone else.


#5403    OverSword

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Posted 31 January 2013 - 03:47 PM

She was actually there on a date with PlanB.  PlanB loves women with that little something extra.  After Helen dumped him he discovered that transexuals have even more extra than a beard (hubba hubba)

Edited by OverSword, 31 January 2013 - 04:41 PM.


#5404    SpiritWriter

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Posted 31 January 2013 - 04:39 PM

Oversword was at the circus too. He spent all day trying to win a gold fish. He felt bad for the critter because it was trapped in a little plastic baggie. He finally won after several trips to the atm and was devestated that he was unable to resuscitate the poor thing after releasing it. The gold fish gamesman watched the proceedure from behind his station and told him not to forget about all the other fishies trapped in baggies and that he should come again tommorrow.

The letter kills but The Spirit gives life. 2 Corinthians 3:6

Non-ambiguity and non-contradiction are one sided and thus unsuited to express the incomprehensible. -Jung

#5405    OverSword

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Posted 31 January 2013 - 04:43 PM

Which I did.  That's where I first met SpiritWriter.  I asked for some cotton candy but it turned out that she was not the cotton candy sales girl she just has really brightly colored hair.


#5406    Helen of Annoy

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Posted 31 January 2013 - 05:05 PM

OverSword sells brooms for living according to that logic.
But that’s not truth, the real truth is that OS is hamster tamer. He gets hurt on his dangerous job rather often, but one of his scars is particularly scary. I can’t tell you where that scar is because that would ruin the surprise he has for you on your first date.
Sometimes he says it’s from cobra fangs, not rodent front teeth and you wouldn’t believe how many people can’t tell the difference.

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Have I ever lost the plot while reading one of your posts?
The will to live maybe, but not the plot...  -  Junior Chubb

#5407    SpiritWriter

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Posted 31 January 2013 - 11:38 PM

Helens supply has multiplied quite exorbuntly since the first. Overswords new years resolution was to take his snake taming religion more seriously and leave the gerbils alone. Alone with all the rodents and a with a depletion of funds, helen got creative with her meals. She has a new favorite soup and has had shishkabobs three times this week... its a step in the wrong direction for some, but not a total plunder.. after all they are quite delicious, disease free and fresh..

Edited by SpiritWriter, 31 January 2013 - 11:40 PM.

The letter kills but The Spirit gives life. 2 Corinthians 3:6

Non-ambiguity and non-contradiction are one sided and thus unsuited to express the incomprehensible. -Jung

#5408    Helen of Annoy

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Posted 02 February 2013 - 04:55 PM

SpiritWriter believes there are disease free and fresh shishkabobs.
In reality, all fresh shishkabobs are required to rest somewhere, preferably in a flooded grave, for at least 4 days before they can be reheated to acquire that rubbery texture before they’re offered to patrons.
That’s why SW can’t replicate the right shishkabob taste at home and she was contemplating suicide because of that. Well, now you know what’s missing from your recipe. A flooded grave. Can be substituted with vat of sour cabbage gone weirdly-sour with grey spots as opposed to usually-sour with white spots.

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Have I ever lost the plot while reading one of your posts?
The will to live maybe, but not the plot...  -  Junior Chubb

#5409    SpiritWriter

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Posted 02 February 2013 - 07:51 PM

Helen misinterprets the extremety of my depression over the shishkabobs.. I am a vegetagian after all and only refused the cabage because it was rotton. I do still eat seafood however and that is why you should probably run for your life... I am severely hungry.

Edited by SpiritWriter, 02 February 2013 - 07:51 PM.

The letter kills but The Spirit gives life. 2 Corinthians 3:6

Non-ambiguity and non-contradiction are one sided and thus unsuited to express the incomprehensible. -Jung

#5410    Helen of Annoy

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Posted 02 February 2013 - 08:02 PM

My hatopus wouldn’t be the first hat SpiritWriter ate.
Once she ate a hat because she lost a bet, but that was only symbolically, she took only a bite.
The other time was more serious, she ate a whole hat because she was drunk and it smelled of tofu and she was severely hungry too. Again.
In her defence, she found it on subway floor so her intoxicated mind somehow associated that with subway sandwiches.

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Have I ever lost the plot while reading one of your posts?
The will to live maybe, but not the plot...  -  Junior Chubb

#5411    SpiritWriter

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Posted 05 February 2013 - 08:39 PM

Helens stories have been so psychicly accurate that several UM members have stopped posting on this thread in fear she will read thier minds and expose all thier secrets...

Don't be afraid people! We'll still assume they are lies!

The letter kills but The Spirit gives life. 2 Corinthians 3:6

Non-ambiguity and non-contradiction are one sided and thus unsuited to express the incomprehensible. -Jung

#5412    PlanB

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Posted 05 February 2013 - 08:49 PM

SpiritWriter's profile pic is an actual photograph of her. She stepped out of a comic book like a-ha's "Take On Me" music video.


#5413    SpiritWriter

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Posted 06 February 2013 - 06:30 AM

Plans b's pills expired and his girl bunnies are expecting.. he's trying to get out of the responsibility but cant seem to out-hop the small, funny shaped, red eyed clouds that keep swooping down from the sky to attack him...

The letter kills but The Spirit gives life. 2 Corinthians 3:6

Non-ambiguity and non-contradiction are one sided and thus unsuited to express the incomprehensible. -Jung

#5414    Helen of Annoy

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Posted 06 February 2013 - 04:22 PM

SpiritWriter married Hugh Hefner. Out of love.
(Serve you right for mentioning girl bunnies.)

Edited by Helen of Annoy, 06 February 2013 - 04:23 PM.

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Have I ever lost the plot while reading one of your posts?
The will to live maybe, but not the plot...  -  Junior Chubb

#5415    ouija ouija

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Posted 06 February 2013 - 05:52 PM

Helen is only saying mean things about SpiritWriter because she(Helen), went for an interview to become a Playboy bunny and they told the hatopus 'we'll hire you if you ditch the broad'!