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[Archived] Make up a lie about poster above


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#5581    Queen in the North

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Posted 07 March 2013 - 06:02 PM

Actually I invented a canon type system to put it on in one go.

bat was responsible for the belief in demons infesting the body of people.

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#5582    Helen of Annoy

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Posted 07 March 2013 - 06:12 PM

Queen can repair flat tyre using her makeup kit only and inflate it without any air compressor, only she can’t get the exact pressure, but it’s usually 2 - 2,2 bar which is acceptable for the most of average cars.
She can inflate up to 3 tyres in a row, if there's cigarette break between them then up to 5.

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The 5 millionth post was Junior Chubb's fault :D
Donnie Darko did nothing, but I had to mention him too.

#5583    Queen in the North

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Posted 07 March 2013 - 06:18 PM

Helen is the b****** offspring of Good Queen Bess and the Emperor Nero.

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#5584    Helen of Annoy

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Posted 07 March 2013 - 06:27 PM

Queen wanted to go trick-or-treating with normal kids, but they didn’t want her. Then I got usually brilliant idea to dress her up in organ-playing monkey and ask the largest kid to carry her on his shoulder.
They were the absolute success. People were so amused they’d even put an extra razor in their candy.

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The 5 millionth post was Junior Chubb's fault :D
Donnie Darko did nothing, but I had to mention him too.

#5585    Queen in the North

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Posted 07 March 2013 - 06:42 PM

Helen is actually my most loyal subject.

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#5586    OverSword

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Posted 07 March 2013 - 07:04 PM

Queen in the North was forced to go south by unhappy subjects.  OFF WITH HER HEAD!


#5587    Helen of Annoy

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Posted 07 March 2013 - 07:10 PM

Queen is not the first dead monarch with such delusions.

However, she is the first monarch ever to marry herself to secure her throne only for herself.
She’s financing extensive shark reproduction studies in attempt to have her own offspring via parthenogenesis and if that doesn’t work she’ll have her cloned the old fashioned way and name all her daughters Dolly. Dolly I, Dolly II, Dolly III... until there’s twelve Dollies in one death match.
The most viable body will have Queen's brain transplanted.


Edit: I was kept by urgent breakthrough in shark studies.

They found OverSword not tasty. He found them not at all because he was blindfolded and believed someone is pranking him and it must be dolphins swimming around him. Yay, dolphins!
So he was rather disappointed when he was pulled out the water, driven around for a while and tossed out in an alley.

Edited by Helen of Annoy, 07 March 2013 - 07:12 PM.

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The 5 millionth post was Junior Chubb's fault :D
Donnie Darko did nothing, but I had to mention him too.

#5588    Queen in the North

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Posted 07 March 2013 - 07:26 PM

Helen was the mastermind behind Project North Korea is Best Korea (Justin Bieber to North Korea) http://knowyourmeme....-to-north-korea

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#5589    Helen of Annoy

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Posted 07 March 2013 - 07:39 PM

Queen was blinded with Kim-Kong-Ugh’s attractiveness and it was only her iron will for absolute power that stopped her from accepting his proposal.
And it was soooo romantic. On top of bunker dome, with red carnation in one hand and fattest rat ever caught in the Best Korea in the other, he said: “So ronery. So, so ronery.” Then few hundred thousand best Koreans sprung up from the surrounding bushes in corporal explosion of joy, swishing brightly coloured strips of best nylon, dancing to the rhythm of thousand rapid firing Kalashnikovs...

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The 5 millionth post was Junior Chubb's fault :D
Donnie Darko did nothing, but I had to mention him too.

#5590    Simbi Laveau

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Posted 07 March 2013 - 07:49 PM

I'm so ronery is actually Helens all time favorite song . It's why she never got married . Every time she got lucky ,she would burst out into warbling this classic little number ,and send her heavily bearded and well endowed with back hair suitors, packing. Only the Hatopus wasn't scared off . To him it was more of a mating call . Good ole Lyle ......What he lacks in body hair,he makes for in tentacle play .
He's been a model for many a Japanese anime artist ;)

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#5591    Helen of Annoy

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Posted 07 March 2013 - 08:21 PM

This is not a lie: Once I saw a bear driving small tractor down countryside road. The bear had shorts, no shirt and a cap on his strangely human-like head. Coming closer, I saw it is human head with ears, clean shaved face and upper neck, but everything below was so hairy it looked - if not like a bear - then like that man was wearing fur coat and trousers.
“He’s hairier than you.” I laughed at my husband who was with me and he replied: “Pah, hairier than me... he’s hairier than you.”


Speaking of which, Simbi still keeps a lock of his first boyfriend’s back hair. He had to shave it off when his travelling circus had to be closed due to inflation of freaks in modern society. No one wants to pay for seeing man with half body or bearded lady while being visually raped by heavily deformed pop stars for free.
So he found honest job, selling used cars, promising Simbi he’ll be back for her, take her to the big city where they’ll have seven children and live in an apartment with garbage chute.
It all came to pass, but in slightly upside-down fashion: Simbi found out he has another girl in the big city, so she climbed up the garbage chute one night and killed the wrong guy, father of seven children. In his sleep. So he couldn’t identify her later.
I don’t know how that woman lives with her conscience.

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The 5 millionth post was Junior Chubb's fault :D
Donnie Darko did nothing, but I had to mention him too.

#5592    Simbi Laveau

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Posted 07 March 2013 - 09:18 PM

My conscience is a Norwegian guy named Huff. He's a blast at parties .

Anyhooo,Helen collects swatches of back hair from random euro trance musicians .She tells them she's a groupie ,and they take her back to their hostel room ,and she spikes their drink .When they wake up , they are sans all their body hair,including their eyebrows .
She takes a kidney too ,just to throw them off her track . They assume she's a black market organs dealer,when she really sells trance hair bathmats,she weaves herself .

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#5593    Queen in the North

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Posted 07 March 2013 - 09:32 PM

Simbi buys Helen's stock of bath mats, and sews them into bedsheets.

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#5594    J. K.

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Posted 07 March 2013 - 09:37 PM

And the Queen sneaks into Simbi's place at night to take the bedsheets.  She uses them as the train to her royal robes.

One's reality is another's nightmare.

#5595    Queen in the North

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Posted 07 March 2013 - 09:43 PM

J.K knows this because I hired him as my head of security after I woke up one night to find him attempting to assassinate me, in the pay of those dirty southerners. Needless to say I overpowered him easily, all it took was a steely, queenly glare and he bowed before me. But I thought, you know what, I want this guy on my side, he managed to get past all the rest of the guards. And he had weird, tight shiny skin which is a sure sign he has been using Helen's seahorse placenta and virgin blood face cream, so I figured it was a way to get some more of that.

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