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[Archived] Make up a lie about poster above


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#5701    OverSword

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Posted 18 March 2013 - 09:51 PM

J.K. walks down the street singing loudly along to the songs on his ipod.  Since he listens exclusivley to death metal this has been known to give the elderly heart attacks and make young children cry.

Edited by OverSword, 18 March 2013 - 09:52 PM.


#5702    Helen of Annoy

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Posted 19 March 2013 - 06:04 PM

This reminds me of the Battle of Leaky mp3 players, that took place in bus 32, Anno Domini 2012.
OverSword brought ipod to mp3 player fight. Imagine that. He was useless with that fancy device and earbuds that direct sound into the ears, instead of uniformly dissipating it in all directions.  
Good earbuds must be capable to entertain at least 3 seat rows when in the ears, and up to 7 when held in half of tin can for better acoustic experience.

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The 5 millionth post was Junior Chubb's fault :D
Donnie Darko did nothing, but I had to mention him too.

#5703    OverSword

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Posted 19 March 2013 - 06:34 PM

Helen of Annoy used to drive that bus but was fired because she would run over the people who listened to music she didn't like.

edit for:  I was riding the bus home last Friday after having drinks with coworkers.  The bus was almost empty.  I was listening to music on my ipod, and a woman sat next to me and after a few minutes waved at me and asked me to turn my music down.  I looked behind me and almost every seat was empty, so I told I can't hear you my music is too loud and I'm not going to turn it down so write me a note.  She just continued to sit next to me until I got off the bus.

Edited by OverSword, 19 March 2013 - 06:37 PM.


#5704    Helen of Annoy

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Posted 19 March 2013 - 07:03 PM

She was obviously trying to make you notice how attractive she is. You’ll never get laid. (I know, I know, I saw her in my crystal ball... )

I was never, ever asked by anyone to turn my leaky player down. First, because the bus is usually full of little high school b******* who can’t hear my modest player over their portable brain imploding devices, second, because our buses are louder than WWII, third, because of my choice of music. You don’t disturb already disturbed people. Unless you’re disturbed yourself.
Which reminds me...


Long, loooong time ago, OverSword was staying in a hotel with his parents. Walking down the hall, he saw a man put “do not disturb” sign on the doorknob.
“What does that mean?” little OverSword asked and his mother told him “This means people inside that room are very tired from their long voyage and they want to sleep without anyone waking them up.”
“Aha” said little OverSword and “Yeeehaaawww, Bubba, coon hunting time!!!” screamed very tired woman from the do-not-disturb room.
“This is how they say good night in the South. We count sheep, they count coons. Since raccoons are faster than sheep, they say hunt rather than just count.” OverSword’s mother explained.
"Aha." said little OverSword.
Years later, OverSword met nice girl and it was getting serious. So serious she invited him to her home, down South, to meet her family. All went well, the trip, introductions, dinner, even grandparents liked him, until it was time to say goodnight...

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The 5 millionth post was Junior Chubb's fault :D
Donnie Darko did nothing, but I had to mention him too.

#5705    OverSword

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Posted 20 March 2013 - 04:48 PM

I would tell love to tell a story about little Helen of Annoy, but the truth is she just appeared one day fully grown, except for her butt which is the only thing that keeps getting bigger and bigger as time goes by. :yes:


#5706    Helen of Annoy

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Posted 20 March 2013 - 05:33 PM

:lol: *shakes tentacle*

OverSword sympathizes with anyone who has the butt growing issue. Because his butt has grown so big they had to order special office chair for him. Double-wide, with caterpillar tracks instead of wheels and “wide load” sticker on the back. Like no one would notice what obstacle is in front of them without the sticker.

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The 5 millionth post was Junior Chubb's fault :D
Donnie Darko did nothing, but I had to mention him too.

#5707    OverSword

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Posted 20 March 2013 - 05:56 PM

Oh that's just a lie, my butt is still as firm and tight as it was when I was 25 :P

Helen of Annoy is so old that the candles on her birthday cake make a significant contribution to climate change.


#5708    J. K.

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Posted 20 March 2013 - 06:02 PM

OverSword's memories of being 25 are false.  He was incubated as a laboratory experiment three years ago.  I was not allowed to read the documentation, but I did notice "FAILED" stamped on the front in bright red ink.

Edited by J. K., 20 March 2013 - 06:02 PM.

One's reality is another's nightmare.

#5709    OverSword

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Posted 20 March 2013 - 06:16 PM

It's hard to tell where JK's nose hair ends and his mustache begins.  It's best to just assume it's all nose hair.

Edited by OverSword, 20 March 2013 - 06:21 PM.


#5710    Helen of Annoy

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Posted 20 March 2013 - 06:53 PM

OverSword had hair transplant. But the guy (no, I wouldn’t call him a surgeon. Not even the cosmetic one.) who did the transplanting had crush on OverSword, so he arranged slightly darker hairs on OverSword’s scalp, in shape of a heart.
He hoped OverSword will think that is the most original hitting-on ever, but OverSword still didn’t notice it. Probably because he dyed it right away. Which is the reason why his natural hair fell out, he kept dying it to match his nail polish and he's matching his nail polish colour to his mood swings.

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The 5 millionth post was Junior Chubb's fault :D
Donnie Darko did nothing, but I had to mention him too.

#5711    OverSword

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Posted 20 March 2013 - 10:36 PM

Helen of Annoy is the love of my life......which explains why I'm single.


#5712    Wolfpower

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Posted 20 March 2013 - 11:42 PM

OverSword actually has a giant mop of hair, no seriously. He got a giant mop head on his head trying to pass it off as lushes, healthy hair

Death borders upon our birth,
and our cradle stands in the grave.
Our birth is nothing but our death begun.
--Bishop Hall


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#5713    J. K.

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Posted 20 March 2013 - 11:51 PM

OverSword got the idea of using a mophead as a wig from Wolfpower, who thought of it.  However, she really should have taken it out of the mop bucket first.

Edited by J. K., 20 March 2013 - 11:52 PM.

One's reality is another's nightmare.

#5714    the1truebat

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Posted 21 March 2013 - 02:07 AM

Ah, St. Patricks day. One of my favorite holidays. This year I, with my faithful sidekick, OverSword, decided to take a little jaunt down to Texas. Just to see how the Texans party.
We had a pretty good time, lots of lovely ladies, good booze, Helen dancing on tabletops while wearing nothing but a lampshade(A sight NOT for the faint of heart). It was getting late and we had some time to kill before the after parties kicked off so we decided to hit one more bar.After we wandered around for awhile, OverSword spotted a place he liked.  As we entered there was a voice like an angel singing "Born This Way" by Lady GaGa(I had to ask O.S. what the song was, turns out this really was his kind of place) Anyhow, I followed a starry eyed OverSword to the main stage where a "woman" was just belting this tune out. Now, we all know OverSwords bad luck with love, it has been well documented, so I knew what was gonna happen.
I was right.
The song ended, the "woman" stepped off stage to the crowd going wild, chants of "Encore!!!" resounding from the rafters, Helen arrived, lampshade intact. OverSword and the singer locked eyes and were drawn together, for the rest of the night, they were unseperable, holding hands, locking lips. It was kind of touching in a strange, Bizarro world kind of way. All in all, we had a really good time. I'll party in Texas anytime. I had to come back for work, but OverSword's still there.
J.K., don't break my friends heart.

I am the guy with the stick.

#5715    OverSword

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Posted 21 March 2013 - 03:40 PM

Ah, the Bat, always looking out for his friends.  It touches my heart.  the1truebat is usually touching my bottom so you can imagine how refreshing it is to have him touching my heart for a change.