Jump to content




Welcome to Unexplained Mysteries! Please sign in or create an account to start posting and to access a host of extra features.


* * * * * 4 votes

[Archived] Make up a lie about poster above


This topic has been archived. This means that you cannot reply to this topic.
8098 replies to this topic

#5746    OverSword

OverSword

    Forum Divinity

  • Member
  • 11,875 posts
  • Joined:16 Oct 2007

Posted 27 March 2013 - 03:53 PM

That's the story I told Helen because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.  The truth is we started to make love and her bad breath caused me to have erectile dysfunction.


#5747    Helen of Annoy

Helen of Annoy

    devil's aunt

  • Member
  • 21,358 posts
  • Joined:21 Jul 2008

Posted 27 March 2013 - 06:10 PM

OverSword can lie all he wants, I have the incriminating piece of rope photographed in his pocket to prove my claim. Does he have a piece of my alleged bad breath? No.
What he does have is my perfumed handkerchief. He takes it out sealed plastic bag only when he misses me unbearably, which is all the time.
All right, I lied.
It's not perfumed hanky, it's kitchen cloth and he takes it out when he misses my cooking and he does it rarely because it agitates neighbourhood dogs.

Posted Image

The 5 millionth post was Junior Chubb's fault :D
Donnie Darko did nothing, but I had to mention him too.

#5748    J. K.

J. K.

    Psychic Spy

  • Member
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,317 posts
  • Joined:09 Jan 2012

Posted 27 March 2013 - 06:17 PM

In addition to her previous appearance on Hoarders, Helen will also be on two other programs soon.  She took her cooking skills to Gordon Ramsey's Hell's Kitchen.  Unfortunately, she was let go rather early in the competition, as her cooking did indeed disturb the neighborhood dogs.  This necessitated calling in Animal Planet's Cesar the Dog Whisperer.

To cash in on her new-found fame, Helen has submitted a screenplay to the Sy Fy channel:  Octo-Hair vs. the Octo-Mom.

One's reality is another's nightmare.

#5749    Helen of Annoy

Helen of Annoy

    devil's aunt

  • Member
  • 21,358 posts
  • Joined:21 Jul 2008

Posted 27 March 2013 - 06:36 PM

J.K. is my stylist. He insist on too much feathers and glittering details, but other than that I think he brings out my natural brightness out.

Posted Image

The 5 millionth post was Junior Chubb's fault :D
Donnie Darko did nothing, but I had to mention him too.

#5750    the1truebat

the1truebat

    The Be All End All of the Universe

  • Member
  • 3,861 posts
  • Joined:06 Mar 2010

Posted 28 March 2013 - 01:57 AM

Helen of Annoy, The Devils Aunt, The Niece of Darkness, so many titles for one "woman" , and she has earned them all, for she is about nine days older than God. She's been around since Shiva was a mess cook. That crazy lady has had lots of time to earn her accolades. She was a model back in the day too, yep, all those statues of Budha, they're actually based on his Body double, Helen.

I am the guy with the stick.

#5751    OverSword

OverSword

    Forum Divinity

  • Member
  • 11,875 posts
  • Joined:16 Oct 2007

Posted 28 March 2013 - 03:33 PM

Helen of Annoy, in an effort to make me jealous, agreed to go out on a date with the1truebat.
Posted Image


#5752    Helen of Annoy

Helen of Annoy

    devil's aunt

  • Member
  • 21,358 posts
  • Joined:21 Jul 2008

Posted 28 March 2013 - 05:06 PM

That’s not me in that photo. I wouldn’t make duck face if your life depended on it. If it was my life then I’d possibly reconsider... anyway, that’s not me, that’s OverSword with dark wig. I can tell by his well defined muscles. The bat is the bat, 7 weeks after his first gastric bypass.

Posted Image

The 5 millionth post was Junior Chubb's fault :D
Donnie Darko did nothing, but I had to mention him too.

#5753    OverSword

OverSword

    Forum Divinity

  • Member
  • 11,875 posts
  • Joined:16 Oct 2007

Posted 28 March 2013 - 05:50 PM

Oh maybe you misunderstood, that's you in the bat suit.  It's a well known fact that the1truebat is a transvestite.  It's also a well known fact that you keep yourself slightly overwieght because it makes your boobs bigger.


#5754    goodconversations

goodconversations

    Alien Embryo

  • Member
  • Pip
  • 123 posts
  • Joined:26 Mar 2013

Posted 28 March 2013 - 06:56 PM

OverSword's link is a virus

Posted Image
There's nothing more
erotic than a good
conversation

#5755    Helen of Annoy

Helen of Annoy

    devil's aunt

  • Member
  • 21,358 posts
  • Joined:21 Jul 2008

Posted 28 March 2013 - 07:17 PM

What else is new...

goodconversations had problems with her computer so she called technical support. Of course, they told her to turn the thing off and back on first. Then, when it didn’t help, they asked her if she had sneezed in direction of her computer lately, because that might have given it a virus. She said no, so they suggested she gets tested for pregnancy because if she’s pregnant it might be her hormones playing with her senses, not actual malfunction.
She gave up and called random friends, asking for advice. Shortened exorcism rite did the trick.

Posted Image

The 5 millionth post was Junior Chubb's fault :D
Donnie Darko did nothing, but I had to mention him too.

#5756    J. K.

J. K.

    Psychic Spy

  • Member
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,317 posts
  • Joined:09 Jan 2012

Posted 28 March 2013 - 08:18 PM

The fan on Helen's computer is going out; she'll need to replace it soon.  However, she thinks the squeaking noise is coming from her mouse, so her fan is doomed.

One's reality is another's nightmare.

#5757    the1truebat

the1truebat

    The Be All End All of the Universe

  • Member
  • 3,861 posts
  • Joined:06 Mar 2010

Posted 29 March 2013 - 03:55 AM

Here's a little known fact, J.K. and I have been friends for years. We met while in the French Foreign Legion. It's true.
I was hiding from exgirlfriends, (and their shotgun wielding fathers) and J.K. was running from who knows what, he wouldn't say.
I was stationed out in some gawdawful desert in South Africa when J.K. arrived, fresh from training.
Now, the desert is not a really exciting place, not a lot of entertainment, terrible food, (As much as I love Helen, I'm glad Shiva was the mess cook and not her. Never ask to try her desert critter suprise, trust me)
Anyhow, after a month or so, J.K. walks up to me and announces that he's feeling frisky, and after I explained that I'd never be drunk and he'd never be that lucky, I pointed at the camels stalls and told him the camels were over there. He gave me a strange look and wandered off to the barracks. I shrugged my shoulders and went about my business.
The next day, he walks up to me and it's the same scenario, he whines and I tell him where the camels are. This goes on for two solid weeks. Finally, he walks up to me and says "Fine, you sick S.O.B., I'll do it" and marches straight over to the camel stalls.
After about 20 minutes, he still hasn't reappeared, so I went to check on him.
When I got to the stalls I found one really confused camel, and one very nekkid J.K. and he was, well, let's just say he was loving it strong.
"What are you doing?!?" I shouted.
"I'm doing what you told me to" he wailed.
"I didn't tell you to do the camel" I roared.
"Yes you did, everytime I told you I was horny you'd point over here and tell me where the camels were"
I threw up my hands in frustration, "You idiot, You ride the camel to town, it's five miles that way."
And that's how I met J.K.

I am the guy with the stick.

#5758    Knight Of Shadows

Knight Of Shadows

    Shadow Dancer

  • Member
  • 5,251 posts
  • Joined:17 Mar 2009

Posted 29 March 2013 - 11:54 AM

the1truebat actually made his custome made batman outfit and he wears it at night and wonder the streets looking for damsels in distress
.. however for some reasons the damsels end up rescuing him instead

by the name of Allah the Gracious the Merciful
Say, "I seek refuge in the Lord of daybreak From the evil of that which He created
And from the evil of darkness when it settles And from the evil of the blowers in knots
And from the evil of an envier when he envies"
truthful was Allah The Most High And Great


#5759    OverSword

OverSword

    Forum Divinity

  • Member
  • 11,875 posts
  • Joined:16 Oct 2007

Posted 29 March 2013 - 03:02 PM

Knight of Shadows has my sympathy.  He was forced into an arranged marriage by his mother and is now the husband of the ugliest woman in Damascus.  That wouldn't be so bad since he forces her to wear the full burkha even in the house, What is so bad is that she is also a terrible cook and laughs like a horse.


#5760    Helen of Annoy

Helen of Annoy

    devil's aunt

  • Member
  • 21,358 posts
  • Joined:21 Jul 2008

Posted 29 March 2013 - 03:03 PM

Edit: damn, it was so poetic I couldn't do it any better.


OverSword speaks from the experience, he was once sold to Saudi Arabia by mistake.

Edited by Helen of Annoy, 29 March 2013 - 03:07 PM.

Posted Image

The 5 millionth post was Junior Chubb's fault :D
Donnie Darko did nothing, but I had to mention him too.