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[Archived] Make up a lie about poster above


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#5791    J. K.

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Posted 04 April 2013 - 08:20 PM

You're forgiven for being confused, Helen.  After all, we know your brain is starved for oxygen what with all the tentacles.  And who knows what kind of damage all that squirted ink has caused?

One's reality is another's nightmare.

#5792    OverSword

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Posted 04 April 2013 - 09:40 PM

JK uses a picture of Roosevelt for his avatar but he thought it was Stalin.


#5793    Queen in the North

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Posted 04 April 2013 - 10:09 PM

OverSword tried to replace my birth control pills with candy in order for us to have child number 14, but what he doesn't know is that I've been replacing his indigestion pills with the birth control pills he stole, and that's why no matter how much he works out he can't shift the moobs. Oestrogen ftw!

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#5794    the1truebat

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Posted 05 April 2013 - 05:51 AM

Fortunately for everyone involved, Queen of the North, doesn't actually need birth control pills, or condoms for that matter.
Her birth control method is foolproof, 100% abstinance. Whenever things start to get hot and heavy, all she has to do is remove her paper bag, the mere sight of her sends even the drunkest of males screaming into the night.

Edited by the1truebat, 05 April 2013 - 05:51 AM.

I am the guy with the stick.

#5795    J. K.

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Posted 05 April 2013 - 01:53 PM

the1truebat wears a bat-mask for a similar reason.  He was able to get his driver's license, but other people kept running off the road when they saw him.  The highway patrol added a mask restriction to his license for the safety of the public.

One's reality is another's nightmare.

#5796    Helen of Annoy

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Posted 05 April 2013 - 02:10 PM

That reminds me of that time J.K. got into Miss Parking Lot finals with paper bag on his head. He claimed the paper bag is there because he’s actually already a celebrity and doesn’t want to influence judges by her fame and judges judged based on his boobs only so it went as far as finals, and looked like J.K. is about to win, in which moment jealous First Officer... no, that's the one you blame when ship sinks... how do you call chicks that come second and third after miss?
Anyway, jealous contestant ripped his paper bag off and J.K. was disqualified because his moustache was not trimmed.

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The will to live maybe, but not the plot...  -  Junior Chubb

#5797    Queen in the North

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Posted 05 April 2013 - 02:37 PM

Helen was the winner of Miss Parking Lot '56... 1856 that is.

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#5798    Helen of Annoy

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Posted 05 April 2013 - 03:02 PM

Queen reminds me strongly of the mare that used to regularly stand parked on that lot from 1854 to 1857, when she was sold to butcher and made into sausages.
Not because of the long face, it’s more the way Queen shamelessly farts in public places, just like that mare used to do. She farted right into Duchess of Snobbery Field face. Twice. The mare, not the Queen. Queen recently farted into paramedic's face. Poor guy wanted to give her CPR, mistakenly on the wrong end of Queen's body. His eyes, skin and teeth enamel suffered serious damage and the pulmologist said the last time that kind of damage to the lungs was recorded was in Ypres in autumn of 1917.

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Have I ever lost the plot while reading one of your posts?
The will to live maybe, but not the plot...  -  Junior Chubb

#5799    notforgotten

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Posted 06 April 2013 - 10:59 PM

Helen is a fart recorder. Much like a wine taster, she measures the bouquet of each and every fart she records. If she misses one she'll demand another. You never know where she'll show up, at restaurants, elevators and all public places.


#5800    the1truebat

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Posted 07 April 2013 - 04:32 AM

Notforgotten once won an award for fishing. They sent him a letter telling him all about it, and how they'd like to see a demonstration.
Poor guy.
He misunderstood the term "Master Baiter" and showed up nekkid to do his demonstration.

I am the guy with the stick.

#5801    Helen of Annoy

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Posted 07 April 2013 - 09:10 AM

Truebat took that bait. In fact, he swallowed hook, line and sinker.
It took four grown men and a midget to get him off.

Edit: to get him off notforgotten. He was all over him. Just make that clear.

Edited by Helen of Annoy, 07 April 2013 - 09:11 AM.

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Have I ever lost the plot while reading one of your posts?
The will to live maybe, but not the plot...  -  Junior Chubb

#5802    SpiritWriter

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Posted 09 April 2013 - 05:05 AM

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The letter kills but The Spirit gives life. 2 Corinthians 3:6

Non-ambiguity and non-contradiction are one sided and thus unsuited to express the incomprehensible. -Jung

#5803    J. K.

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Posted 09 April 2013 - 01:32 PM

SpiritWriter doesn't mind putting on makeup in the morning, but hates taking it off at night.  (All right, I stole that from a Dilbert cartoon.)  So, she leaves it on, and it has enveloped her face in a rock-hard covering.  Now she thinks that George Washington on Mount Rushmore is herself.

One's reality is another's nightmare.

#5804    Child of Bast

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Posted 09 April 2013 - 01:37 PM

Last week, J.K. sent me a series of photographs of fashionable dresses he has designed, made entirely of pennies. Kudos for finally finding a use for all these useless bits of copper. :tu:

Edited by Lady Kasey, 09 April 2013 - 01:37 PM.

No great mind has ever existed without a touch of madness. ~ Aristotle

#5805    OverSword

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Posted 09 April 2013 - 03:02 PM

Ladey Kasey bought one of these dresses and now her back is green and she's suffering from copper poisoning.