The truth is that SW is not pregnant. This happens every time she eats one of my famous 3 cheese and tomato grilled cheese sandwiches. Her lactose intolerance gets her all bloated and she being a little naive, or perhaps innocent and possibly just not very smart at all thinks shes pregnant. I usually just press firmly on her little bloated belly and after she farts she's back to begging me to cook her some more food. She may not be to bright but shes very sweet and her farts don't linger so I'll keep her around for a while.
Heaven is a halfpipe dreams of being a professional skateboarder. The main thing preventing him from realizing his dream is that he's never rode an actual skate board. As a matter of fact all he does is sit around with his xbox 360 playing Tony Hawk and eating snack food which has gotten him so fat that if he did buy a skateboard it would probably break as soon as he got on it.
Y'see that link in Oversword's signature? The reason he doesn't want you to click on it (obviously using reverse psychology) is because it's a link to his multi-family album showing all the kids he's had with SpiritWriter and Heaven is a Halfpipe. Not to mention his modeling photos of the penny dresses designed and made by J.K.
'A phantom,' said my Uncle Mycroft, who had just materialised, 'is essentially a heteromorphic wave pattern that gains solidity when the apparition converts thermal energy from the surroundings to visible light. It's a fascinating process and I'm amazed no one has thought of harnessing it - a holographic TV that could operate from the heat given off by an average-size guinea pig.' ~ First Among Sequels, Jasper Fforde
OverSword can't even say 'restaurant', never mind spell it. When he's learnt, he's going to accept J.K.'s offer of a dinner date at the aforementioned Indian establishment !
Ouija asked me to come over so she could tutor my poor spelling. When I got there she was wearing lingerie, heels, and hold a very tall drink. She said the first word I'm going to teach you to spell is coitus C-O-I-T-U-S. Did I get it right?
Oversword spelled it right but didnt know how to perform it so he went in to ouijas kitchen and demonstrated laying two juicy slices of tomato on top of one another, this had been successful in the presence of other drunk women in the past.. Since ouija was passed out afterwards and oversword is into tatooing peoples forheads and since he needed to practice his spelling he tatooed the alphabet on ouijas face. Now when people ask her questions her nose rotates and spells the answers out for them. Halfpipe is still looking for the guy who did this to his mother but all he has is a picture of a gray square attempting to give a damn to go off of, half a skate board (oversword escaped on the other half) and half a pipe (to beat him down with when he finds him.)
And helen is still trying to take over everyones posts on this thread.
Edited by SpiritWriter, 10 April 2013 - 06:14 PM.
The letter kills but The Spirit gives life. 2 Corinthians 3:6
Non-ambiguity and non-contradiction are one sided and thus unsuited to express the incomprehensible. -Jung
SpiritWriter and I live in the same city, and every Friday I tell her via this web-site where i will be drinking beer after work and every Friday she shows up and spies on me. She thinks I don't see her. She is beautiful dark skinned woman taking notes furiously on a pad of paper. Haha! Gotcha!