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Feels like I am emotionally disconnected


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#1    Xzenox

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Posted 14 September 2010 - 07:30 AM

I use to feel so strongly and be so empathetic and sensitive to others feelings and my surroundings. Now I feel like a ghost who is spectating his own life without any feelings. I don't ever live in the moment and it feels like the love in my heart is all gone. I only feel sadness sometimes but barely enough for it to mean anything. I just want to be human again and feel apart of the world again like when i was younger. I watch other people who seem to be so happy and who really enjoys everything and people with there surroundings and i just don't get that anymore! Most the time i just feel like a bored inhuman spectator, always bored out of my mind and has his few moments of excitement here and there but there gone as soon as they come.

Is it suppose to be this way? Are you suppose to grow cold and loose your feelings? I want a dam cure for this! I wouldn't exactly say i have depression but more like i am completely bored out of my mind 99% of the time and nothing barely excites me! My life has not been a cup of tea and definitely has not gone the way i wanted it too but dam its like all the joys of being a human being have been taken away too! What the hell do i do about it?  :wacko:

Edited by Xzenox, 14 September 2010 - 07:32 AM.


#2    kapsha

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Posted 14 September 2010 - 12:29 PM

View PostXzenox, on 14 September 2010 - 07:30 AM, said:

I use to feel so strongly and be so empathetic and sensitive to others feelings and my surroundings. Now I feel like a ghost who is spectating his own life without any feelings. I don't ever live in the moment and it feels like the love in my heart is all gone. I only feel sadness sometimes but barely enough for it to mean anything. I just want to be human again and feel apart of the world again like when i was younger. I watch other people who seem to be so happy and who really enjoys everything and people with there surroundings and i just don't get that anymore! Most the time i just feel like a bored inhuman spectator, always bored out of my mind and has his few moments of excitement here and there but there gone as soon as they come.

Is it suppose to be this way? Are you suppose to grow cold and loose your feelings? I want a dam cure for this! I wouldn't exactly say i have depression but more like i am completely bored out of my mind 99% of the time and nothing barely excites me! My life has not been a cup of tea and definitely has not gone the way i wanted it too but dam its like all the joys of being a human being have been taken away too! What the hell do i do about it?  :wacko:


I think you should go to a doctor, maybe even a psychologist, and tell them about the disconnect you feel. Feel free to PM me.

I hope you find your way...:)

"...looking down from above, it all makes perfect sense."

#3    iluthradanar

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Posted 14 September 2010 - 03:20 PM

I wonder if many of us don't go through this at times in our lives. I know that for awhile I felt disconnected and apart. Then I went through a phase of helping people, volunteering a lot, and being generally busy. Then I moved to another state where I knew only a few people, and they were too busy for me. I didn't make the same money I had at home, got sick and had to have surgery and was out of work for 2 months, found a nice job that still didn't pay well and I had to file for bankruptcy. In other words, life sucked. I again fell into the numbness but was it a way to protect myself from the bad things going on in my life? Now that things have evened off abit, I feel compassion but its like, from a distance. I feel no connection to the world and it seems completely normal to me. I'm living here, and that's about it. I never wanted children because I felt no need to contribute to the continuity of the population.

Anyway, maybe we all go through this in some way or other. As long as you know you're not suffering from clinical depression. Maybe a visit to a doctor would help. Or someone to talk to.

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#4    Leah G.

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Posted 14 September 2010 - 03:48 PM

View PostXzenox, on 14 September 2010 - 07:30 AM, said:

I use to feel so strongly and be so empathetic and sensitive to others feelings and my surroundings. Now I feel like a ghost who is spectating his own life without any feelings. I don't ever live in the moment and it feels like the love in my heart is all gone. I only feel sadness sometimes but barely enough for it to mean anything. I just want to be human again and feel apart of the world again like when i was younger. I watch other people who seem to be so happy and who really enjoys everything and people with there surroundings and i just don't get that anymore! Most the time i just feel like a bored inhuman spectator, always bored out of my mind and has his few moments of excitement here and there but there gone as soon as they come.

Is it suppose to be this way? Are you suppose to grow cold and loose your feelings? I want a dam cure for this! I wouldn't exactly say i have depression but more like i am completely bored out of my mind 99% of the time and nothing barely excites me! My life has not been a cup of tea and definitely has not gone the way i wanted it too but dam its like all the joys of being a human being have been taken away too! What the hell do i do about it?  :wacko:


Sure sounds like the void made by a break up after the anger is gone. Go do something you love to do and haven't done in a long time! Put a happy face on and pretty soon it will all get better. Sometimes you have to choose to be happy and not just let it happy, make it happen.


#5    Toolite

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Posted 14 September 2010 - 04:37 PM

View PostXzenox, on 14 September 2010 - 07:30 AM, said:

I use to feel so strongly and be so empathetic and sensitive to others feelings and my surroundings. Now I feel like a ghost who is spectating his own life without any feelings. I don't ever live in the moment and it feels like the love in my heart is all gone. I only feel sadness sometimes but barely enough for it to mean anything. I just want to be human again and feel apart of the world again like when i was younger. I watch other people who seem to be so happy and who really enjoys everything and people with there surroundings and i just don't get that anymore! Most the time i just feel like a bored inhuman spectator, always bored out of my mind and has his few moments of excitement here and there but there gone as soon as they come.

Is it suppose to be this way? Are you suppose to grow cold and loose your feelings? I want a dam cure for this! I wouldn't exactly say i have depression but more like i am completely bored out of my mind 99% of the time and nothing barely excites me! My life has not been a cup of tea and definitely has not gone the way i wanted it too but dam its like all the joys of being a human being have been taken away too! What the hell do i do about it?  :wacko:


Just begin to love again.. Love yourself.. Love others... Appreciate the Goodness around you... Challenge your mind.. Research things.. Look for answers... Look for Questions... Grow...Tell yourself that everyday will be a great day and the challenge for you is making that happen...  Share your gift with others... Life has only begun so live it to the fullest!

All The Glory Belongs To God Forever!


#6    Xzenox

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Posted 15 September 2010 - 07:48 AM

View PostHatch, on 14 September 2010 - 03:48 PM, said:

Sure sounds like the void made by a break up after the anger is gone. Go do something you love to do and haven't done in a long time! Put a happy face on and pretty soon it will all get better. Sometimes you have to choose to be happy and not just let it happy, make it happen.

The thing is. I don't know what it is i love to do! I date lots of girls and it seems to be moments of excitement but it doesn't seem to ever feel the void and I can't seem to find the right girl. They all seem the same to me and I'm tired of meaningless hookups. Is there something wrong with me? or is it them?

Edited by Xzenox, 15 September 2010 - 07:49 AM.


#7    Xzenox

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Posted 15 September 2010 - 07:52 AM

View PostToolite, on 14 September 2010 - 04:37 PM, said:

Just begin to love again.. Love yourself.. Love others... Appreciate the Goodness around you... Challenge your mind.. Research things.. Look for answers... Look for Questions... Grow...Tell yourself that everyday will be a great day and the challenge for you is making that happen...  Share your gift with others... Life has only begun so live it to the fullest!

All The Glory Belongs To God Forever!

Its truly hard to appreciate the goodness around me. And its hard to love others and myself when it all seems so meaningless. Im trying to turn the on switch button on but I just don't know how to do it! It feels like every time i try that I end up just failing.

How do you begin to love again? all that stuff you said is a lot easier said than done. Maybe I have some chemical Imbalance in my head and my brains not getting the love signals that it needs.


#8    Xzenox

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Posted 15 September 2010 - 07:54 AM

View Postiluthradanar, on 14 September 2010 - 03:20 PM, said:

I wonder if many of us don't go through this at times in our lives. I know that for awhile I felt disconnected and apart. Then I went through a phase of helping people, volunteering a lot, and being generally busy. Then I moved to another state where I knew only a few people, and they were too busy for me. I didn't make the same money I had at home, got sick and had to have surgery and was out of work for 2 months, found a nice job that still didn't pay well and I had to file for bankruptcy. In other words, life sucked. I again fell into the numbness but was it a way to protect myself from the bad things going on in my life? Now that things have evened off abit, I feel compassion but its like, from a distance. I feel no connection to the world and it seems completely normal to me. I'm living here, and that's about it. I never wanted children because I felt no need to contribute to the continuity of the population.

Anyway, maybe we all go through this in some way or other. As long as you know you're not suffering from clinical depression. Maybe a visit to a doctor would help. Or someone to talk to.

are you still going through this? or has it stopped? if so then what made it stop?


#9    Xzenox

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Posted 15 September 2010 - 08:07 AM

This is kind of embarrassing for me to admit but I did mess around with drugs when I was younger and I cant help but think that maybe I went a bit overboard and Im dealing with the aftermath. I did Ecstasy a lot for a whole summer period then stopped and tried weed a few times and mushrooms and acid once. Then I messed around with lowertabs and Adderoll and Played with xanax for 2 and half weeks. Thats all i have done but i worry every day that I screwed something up inside me for good and there is no coming back from the aftermath. I am Drug free now but I do smoke cigarettes which I haven't been able to give up! Seems like addiction runs deep in my family and its probably the worst thing in the world I could possibly get into. Im glad Im done with all that now and i have grown alot wiser and smarter. But I get upset everyday that there is something not right with me anymore and I don't know what to do? I don't like thinking about it very much because it makes me upset thinking about all the damage I probably have done to my body. Is there no coming back though? Could my disconnected feeling be forever?


#10    kapsha

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Posted 15 September 2010 - 01:29 PM

View PostXzenox, on 15 September 2010 - 08:07 AM, said:

This is kind of embarrassing for me to admit but I did mess around with drugs when I was younger and I cant help but think that maybe I went a bit overboard and Im dealing with the aftermath. I did Ecstasy a lot for a whole summer period then stopped and tried weed a few times and mushrooms and acid once. Then I messed around with lowertabs and Adderoll and Played with xanax for 2 and half weeks. Thats all i have done but i worry every day that I screwed something up inside me for good and there is no coming back from the aftermath. I am Drug free now but I do smoke cigarettes which I haven't been able to give up! Seems like addiction runs deep in my family and its probably the worst thing in the world I could possibly get into. Im glad Im done with all that now and i have grown alot wiser and smarter. But I get upset everyday that there is something not right with me anymore and I don't know what to do? I don't like thinking about it very much because it makes me upset thinking about all the damage I probably have done to my body. Is there no coming back though? Could my disconnected feeling be forever?

I want to start by saying you have no reason to be embarassed. We all make mistakes. It took a lot of courage for you to admit the things in your past that you're not proud of. Believe me when I say I've done things I'm not proud of either.  :blink:  But learning from those mistakes makes me who I am today.  :yes:

Our bodies are wonderful. We are able to change our decisions about our life style and have some very positive results. I am no doctor, but I don't believe you are going to feel this way forever. Think of this as a temporary situation, one that can be reconciled.

"...looking down from above, it all makes perfect sense."

#11    Agent. Mulder

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Posted 15 September 2010 - 02:50 PM

Sometimes people get bummed out, upset with society or just certain people in general. Jaded on occassion. If anything, the fact that youre feeling this, still shows you can feel emotion! Albeit a somewhat "depressed" feeling, you can still feel. So, thats still a good thing for you. It happens to a lot of sensitive people.  
Chin up.

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#12    Black Hound

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Posted 15 September 2010 - 03:15 PM

I can very definately appreciate what you are saying as I have gone through periods of time when nothing had any joy in it for me.Not "depressed" per se but nothing seem tto have a challenge to it, nothing to really get my interests. I pushed myself to seek out new and sometimes not so interesting hobbies, activities,anything to break my life cycle. To me, it finally happened one day when cleaning up the attic I came across several of my paintings, which I used to used to earn some extra money in graduate school, and merely thinking of how much I enjoyed doing it and the times associated with me,got me back doing it again. I had foorgotten thhe one thing that had really challenged me and had accomplishmentsd accociated with it.I feel confident you will get back to findding that part of life that will bring you challenges and feelings of accomplishments.It certainly did for me. Glad to talk anytime. :tu:


#13    Toolite

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Posted 15 September 2010 - 05:27 PM

View PostXzenox, on 15 September 2010 - 07:52 AM, said:

Its truly hard to appreciate the goodness around me. And its hard to love others and myself when it all seems so meaningless. Im trying to turn the on switch button on but I just don't know how to do it! It feels like every time i try that I end up just failing.

How do you begin to love again? all that stuff you said is a lot easier said than done. Maybe I have some chemical Imbalance in my head and my brains not getting the love signals that it needs.

To move forward you must look at your past.. What made you stop loving? Oh and you know.. I am not suppose to preach on this site.. so I will say it best I can.  Sometimes what we have in us is so great and powerful and the enemy does everything to stop it.. or try..  First the enemy isolates you- tells you the ones you used to like really don't like you or they are just using you - he knows what hurts and what to say.. so once you leave family and friends alone - now you are alone and the enemy can spend more time with you- saying negative things- trying to make you feel low...like you have no value.. and then sometimes we begin to believe it.. so now not only has the enemy isolated you but, he also has lowered your self esteem....  One thing I promise you.. and I would put everything on it.. the enemy only bothers the gifted or called or chosen...the ones who can make a great impact.  he works them all day long because of the greatness in them..

Everyone loves in their own learned way but, I believe only God truly can teach you real love...

Why don't you start with some of your passions or dreams.. things before you set out to do that made you happy but, no matter how much you tried they couldn't be completed.. try that again things you loved doing.

Look at your circle-- do you have friends that tell you - you are smart (lol) you have to have at least two friends that give you compliments and you are able to compliment them..

And please don't put all your faith in people because people will fail you and they are suppose to because all your trust should be in the Lord - the only one without issues.  All of us people have issues..  I could fail you and not on purpose it happens so we must guard ourselves and realize that too..

Well I will be the first one to say I Love You Xzenox.

All The Glory Belongs To God Forever!


#14    Agent. Mulder

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Posted 15 September 2010 - 05:56 PM

View PostToolite, on 15 September 2010 - 05:27 PM, said:

To move forward you must look at your past.. What made you stop loving? Oh and you know.. I am not suppose to preach on this site.. so I will say it best I can.  Sometimes what we have in us is so great and powerful and the enemy does everything to stop it.. or try..  First the enemy isolates you- tells you the ones you used to like really don't like you or they are just using you - he knows what hurts and what to say.. so once you leave family and friends alone - now you are alone and the enemy can spend more time with you- saying negative things- trying to make you feel low...like you have no value.. and then sometimes we begin to believe it.. so now not only has the enemy isolated you but, he also has lowered your self esteem....  One thing I promise you.. and I would put everything on it.. the enemy only bothers the gifted or called or chosen...the ones who can make a great impact.  he works them all day long because of the greatness in them..

Everyone loves in their own learned way but, I believe only God truly can teach you real love...

Why don't you start with some of your passions or dreams.. things before you set out to do that made you happy but, no matter how much you tried they couldn't be completed.. try that again things you loved doing.

Look at your circle-- do you have friends that tell you - you are smart (lol) you have to have at least two friends that give you compliments and you are able to compliment them..

And please don't put all your faith in people because people will fail you and they are suppose to because all your trust should be in the Lord - the only one without issues.  All of us people have issues..  I could fail you and not on purpose it happens so we must guard ourselves and realize that too..

Well I will be the first one to say I Love You Xzenox.

All The Glory Belongs To God Forever!

IMO, id suggest only something physically real, can know and experience love. I dont believe love (an emotion) can be taught.

the truth is out there....

#15    Xzenox

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Posted 16 September 2010 - 12:06 AM

I try to go look back into the past and see what made me stop loving and some of it seems pretty shady and cloudy and I can't remember to well but I think it was a whole combination of things thrown out at me when i was growing up. Abusive father and my mother didn't even stick around to raise me but left me with my grandparents while i was growing up and she would come visit me alot but I guess it just wasn't enough. My grandma was a good person but she was definitely not equipped to take care of children properly, She had quite a temper and i think she was scared of me most the time when i was growing up because i had alot of anger issues and blamed her for them. I am definitely over this now and I have grown to understand that my grandma tried the best she could. I think alot of my anger thats left is towards my mother and my father who my mother was there sometimes but not the way a mother should be and I just straight up never saw my father.

  I had a girl who told me she really loved me and Always would talk to me and be there for me but in the end all I could do is not return the love back. All I could do is pick out any flaws I saw in her and then get disgusted and not be able to love her. I Couldn't bring myself to believe that she really loved me either. I thought it was all just a joke! I liked having someone to talk to and when she came and moved in with me it all just went to **** and she moved back home and We don't talk anymore. It was mostly me and I wanted her to go home but i remember being indecisive about it and Not wanting to be alone again but in the end I made the hard decision to end it. I really wish I could have had something real but in the end I guess it just wasn't mean to be. I think the problem is that we were to much alike and dating someone just like me just didn't turn out well. She had alot of the same problems as me but she could cry and I couldn't. She claimed she really loved me and I just couldn't believe that. It was just straightup not healthy and I tried to help her and be with her even though I wasn't feeling those loves feelings in return but I couldn't help her overcome her demons and I think all she needed was love in return which I Couldn't force myself to love her or do I think i am capable of loving anyone right now.

Edited by Xzenox, 16 September 2010 - 12:32 AM.





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