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Capture The Flag


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#586    Junior Chubb

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Posted 01 October 2012 - 11:55 AM

After leaving things to cool down for a while, using information sent to me from a so called 'friend' I stealthily invade your residence making use of my years of SAS training. It has been so long since the Flag has been attacked your defence is weak and I slip away into the night...

You awake in the morning to find your leg broken, your property ransacked and your pet fish molested!!!Also 'Chubb was here you big fat loser' is spray painted all over your living room walls, yes I have added insult to injury!!!

I have the flag securely stored safely (rippling away in my Avatar) and it is out of your reach for now and all of eternity...

I've flown from one side of this galaxy to the other. I've seen a lot of strange stuff, but I've never seen anything to make me believe there's one all-powerful Force controlling everything. There's no mystical energy field that controls my destiny. Anyway, it's all a lot of simple tricks and nonsense.

#587    ouija ouija

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Posted 01 October 2012 - 01:35 PM

Dear oh dear oh dear! What a rookie mistake to make: standing in front of the object you are meant to be guarding. 'Years of SAS training'? Don't make me laff(that's 'larf' for you Southern Softies).
*strolls off with flag stashed securely in old kit bag* *alongside troubles* *smiles*

Life is all too much ............................................. and not enough.

It is only when you form your question precisely and accurately that you receive the true answer.

#588    Junior Chubb

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Posted 01 October 2012 - 07:03 PM

View Postouija ouija, on 01 October 2012 - 01:35 PM, said:

Dear oh dear oh dear! What a rookie mistake to make: standing in front of the object you are meant to be guarding. 'Years of SAS training'? Don't make me laff(that's 'larf' for you Southern Softies).
*strolls off with flag stashed securely in old kit bag* *alongside troubles* *smiles*

Doh!

I've flown from one side of this galaxy to the other. I've seen a lot of strange stuff, but I've never seen anything to make me believe there's one all-powerful Force controlling everything. There's no mystical energy field that controls my destiny. Anyway, it's all a lot of simple tricks and nonsense.

#589    the1truebat

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Posted 27 February 2013 - 07:05 AM

View Postouija ouija, on 01 October 2012 - 01:35 PM, said:

Dear oh dear oh dear! What a rookie mistake to make: standing in front of the object you are meant to be guarding. 'Years of SAS training'? Don't make me laff(that's 'larf' for you Southern Softies).
*strolls off with flag stashed securely in old kit bag* *alongside troubles* *smiles*
"Normally I save this kind of stuff for Helen, I think I'll make an exception in your case."
Suprised, at the sound of an almost forgotten voice, you never feel the blow that takes you out.
Upon awakening, you find yourself hogtied upside down in chains dangling over a pit of lava, the ropes that bind you are connected to a weight and pulley system that bounces you up and down like a yoyo. You can hardly catch a breath, much less think. Oh, and every time you move, it drops lower. I wouldn't wiggle too much if i were you.
Daddy's Home.
Who's next?

I am the guy with the stick.

#590    ouija ouija

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Posted 27 February 2013 - 11:06 AM

I've suffered worse. You make no mention of the flag. Couldn't find it, huh? Shame, 'cos that's what this game is all about, 'owning the flag' ........ looks like I still do :P :lol:

(And where, exactly, has 'Daddy' been all this time?)



(Yes, we have missed you!)

Life is all too much ............................................. and not enough.

It is only when you form your question precisely and accurately that you receive the true answer.

#591    Child of Bast

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Posted 27 February 2013 - 01:56 PM

While ouija is dangling upside down on her perpetual yo-yo, growing ever closer to the lava, I happen along and spy your knit bag still slung over your shoulder, but now dangling precariously from your arm pit over the lava. Thinking to steal a perfectly good knitting bag for a friend, I pull out my trusty bow and arrow with sharpened steel tips. I use the first arrow to slice through the fabric of the strap of the bag, quickly followed by a second that pins the bag to the frame of the mechanism holding you in place. Gleefully, I snatch the arrow and bag from their spot on the wood frame and disappear with the bag and unknown flag inside.

'A phantom,' said my Uncle Mycroft, who had just materialised, 'is essentially a heteromorphic wave pattern that gains solidity when the apparition converts thermal energy from the surroundings to visible light. It's a fascinating process and I'm amazed no one has thought of harnessing it - a holographic TV that could operate from the heat given off by an average-size guinea pig.' ~ First Among Sequels, Jasper Fforde

#592    Junior Chubb

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Posted 27 February 2013 - 02:21 PM

You may have thought that you managed to disappear into the night but unfortunately for you your reputation had laid a dangerous path for you to follow...

Being well known as the 'Most likely to steal ketchup from the office' has lead you to be number one on my surveillance teams hit list. They followed you to the secret lair in which you stash your hoard of stolen ketchup and low and behold the flag was also there. While you were out on a ketchup raid (to feed your ever growing addiction) I stealthily entered your lair and stole the flag, at the same time I took the opportunity to empty every ketchup bottle you had amassed over your 20 year crime spree.

I disappeared into the night to enjoy ownership of the flag and celebrated with a nice bottle of salad cream. ;)

I've flown from one side of this galaxy to the other. I've seen a lot of strange stuff, but I've never seen anything to make me believe there's one all-powerful Force controlling everything. There's no mystical energy field that controls my destiny. Anyway, it's all a lot of simple tricks and nonsense.

#593    Helen of Annoy

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Posted 27 February 2013 - 04:48 PM

The bottle of salad cream with few drops of secret ingredient from the Borgia cookbook.
So it’s not chocolate on Junior’s... cheeks.  
Serve you right for stealing my flag. I think I'll keep it under my bed, right under the last dead body that waits for me to catch some free time to relocate it.

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The 5 millionth post was Junior Chubb's fault :D
Donnie Darko did nothing, but I had to mention him too.

#594    Junior Chubb

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Posted 27 February 2013 - 11:42 PM

Taking the flag from me was your biggest mistake for it gave me a problem and no-one else could help, because I knew where to find them I was able to hire the A-Team (cue music)...

After locating Hannibal, who was cunningly disguised as somebody from outside his own ethnicity I was introduced to Face and BA, we then went on to a Psychiatric Hospital to break out Murdoch. Once the team was together I explained my plight of woe and despite not having any money they agreed to help on morale grounds. We then drugged BA's milk and flew to Croatia.

We soon located your den and infiltrated it after a punch up with some z-list thugs, we came face to face with you only to become captured (due to Face flirting with you) and locked up in a barn full of tools and machinery. Whilst captured and during a quick musical interlude we managed to build a flag capturing machine out of the bits and bobs in the barn and escape. We then used this machine to take on your army of machine gun wilding goons and knock them all into a nice and convenient pile of unconscious thugs while being shielded from thousands of rounds of ammunition. While this was happening BA was busy fighting the biggest of the goons in a punch for punch battle of strength.

You tried escaping your bed but instead ended up in it with Face, while the two of you had Eighties TV sex Murdoch snuck into your room and under your bed to retrieve the flag for myself. Once I had the flag and while Hannibal was celebrating the coming together of a plan the military police arrived, the A-Team managed to get in their van and escape leaving me with the flag and you longing for another encounter with the Face Man....

Da da da daa, da da daaaa, da da da da daaaaa, da dada da....

Edited by Junior Chubb, 27 February 2013 - 11:45 PM.

I've flown from one side of this galaxy to the other. I've seen a lot of strange stuff, but I've never seen anything to make me believe there's one all-powerful Force controlling everything. There's no mystical energy field that controls my destiny. Anyway, it's all a lot of simple tricks and nonsense.

#595    the1truebat

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Posted 28 February 2013 - 05:33 AM

After hearing "I love it when a plan comes together" for the hundredth time in ten minutes, I unleash the ancient and mystical art of Boot to the Head upon your cranium.
Tis a pity, Fool, that you're taken down so easily.
Flag is mine.

I am the guy with the stick.

#596    Simbi Laveau

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Posted 28 February 2013 - 06:00 AM

I deftly sweep kick you into the fire ant hill  ,and as you fall ,I liberally douse you with thick molasses. The ants are on you within seconds,and  leave nothing but tattered holey clothes,and dry bare bones in their wake.
Flag is mine.....heh heh heh ...

Yes,you did scream and writhe a lot .tut

Edited by Simbi Laveau, 28 February 2013 - 06:01 AM.

Miss me?

#597    Junior Chubb

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Posted 28 February 2013 - 09:46 AM

The use of molasses let you down as I followed your sweet scent to the Rim of Hell...

Once there we locked eyes and I felt a tremor of emotion as I realised how long it had been since we conversed on UM. Pushing back those emotions I used the Tiger, Crane and Drunken Master styles to pummel you to within an inch of your life before ripping the flag from your hands. Out of respect I dialled 999 and told the emergency services of your wounds and location before dancing away in a River Dance style with the flag...

I've flown from one side of this galaxy to the other. I've seen a lot of strange stuff, but I've never seen anything to make me believe there's one all-powerful Force controlling everything. There's no mystical energy field that controls my destiny. Anyway, it's all a lot of simple tricks and nonsense.

#598    the1truebat

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Posted 28 February 2013 - 04:04 PM

Amatuers, no sense of continuity whatsoever.
If you were to jump into the way back machine and look at the genetic experimentation, immortalities as well as the looney toonalities and you'll realize one thing, you can't kill me.
I say this as I defeat every style you bring to the fight, it's easy when you have a taser with enough juice to jump start the big bang.
Remember that as you lay twitching, being tossed into the pit that spawned you.
Flag is mine.

I am the guy with the stick.

#599    Helen of Annoy

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Posted 28 February 2013 - 07:07 PM

Hold this baby for me, will you, while I help that old lady cross the street?

Yes, he fell for the oldest one in the book: exploding diaper.
(No baby was hurt during imagining this scene, the baby was purely fictional and made of straw-filled condoms. Did I say condoms? Silly me, balloons. Family and eco friendly.)

I couldn’t ask bat to hand the flag over to me before he was blasted away, that could make him suspicious, so I had to catch his flag-bearing hand mid-air and rip my flag out of his - still warm! feels like pretzel straight from the oven!  ... where was I? Aha, my flag out of his mangled fingers before they cool off and become so stiff you’d have to break them off to get your property back.

Posted Image

The 5 millionth post was Junior Chubb's fault :D
Donnie Darko did nothing, but I had to mention him too.

#600    Junior Chubb

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Posted 28 February 2013 - 08:12 PM

Suddenly swinging through the urban jungle like Tarzan, Junior Chubb swings into play on a telephone line, swiftly grabbing the flag as you adjust your hatopus. Letting out a Tarzan like scream all the animals of the urban jungle (dogs, cats, foxes, rats and hamsters and cockroaches) come rushing to my aid and stop you from giving chase.

Once I triumphantly swing to the top of the nearest taller than average building I neatly fold up the flag and insert it onto my rectum, knowing that no human will ever be brave enough to retrieve it from its new home...

I've flown from one side of this galaxy to the other. I've seen a lot of strange stuff, but I've never seen anything to make me believe there's one all-powerful Force controlling everything. There's no mystical energy field that controls my destiny. Anyway, it's all a lot of simple tricks and nonsense.




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