Want a doughnut?
Hold my beer will you?
Don't look in the trunk please.
Are you just pulling me over cause I am drunk?
Can I play with your gun?
please feel free to add to the list
Edited by maca02, 06 June 2011 - 12:27 AM.
1
what not to say to a cop
Started by
maca02
, Jun 06 2011 12:27 AM
42 replies to this topic
#1
maca02
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A Bear Of Very Little Brain
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ALL HAIL THE ALE
"There is no truth. There is only perception.”
Gustave Flaubert
Posted 06 June 2011 - 12:27 AM
heres a few to get started
Want a doughnut?
Hold my beer will you?
Don't look in the trunk please.
Are you just pulling me over cause I am drunk?
Can I play with your gun?
please feel free to add to the list
Want a doughnut?
Hold my beer will you?
Don't look in the trunk please.
Are you just pulling me over cause I am drunk?
Can I play with your gun?
please feel free to add to the list
ALL HAIL THE ALE
#2
Enoonmai
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There are things known, and things unknown, in between are the doors
Posted 06 June 2011 - 12:53 AM
**EDIT**
Edited by aquatus1, 06 June 2011 - 05:06 AM.
Lone Wolf; Test Everything - Believe Nothing
#3
HeartsAreForBreaking
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Don't trust too much, don't need too much, don't Love too much. Because that too much will hurt you so much.
Posted 06 June 2011 - 12:55 AM
maca02, on 06 June 2011 - 12:27 AM, said:
heres a few to get started
Want a doughnut?
Hold my beer will you?
Don't look in the trunk please.
Are you just pulling me over cause I am drunk?
Can I play with your gun?
Cop says, Gee young lady, your eyes sure look red. Have you been drinking?
I say, Gee officer, your eyes sure look glazed. Have you been eating donuts?
Do you know why you pulled me over? Good, that makes one of us.
Are you Barney or the other one?
Aren't you the guy from the village people band?
If I bend over, will I still get a ticket?
Oops, I thought you were a prostitute...
A hundred dollar fine?! Maybe George Washington will change your mind.
please feel free to add to the list
Want a doughnut?
Hold my beer will you?
Don't look in the trunk please.
Are you just pulling me over cause I am drunk?
Can I play with your gun?
Cop says, Gee young lady, your eyes sure look red. Have you been drinking?
I say, Gee officer, your eyes sure look glazed. Have you been eating donuts?
Do you know why you pulled me over? Good, that makes one of us.
Are you Barney or the other one?
Aren't you the guy from the village people band?
If I bend over, will I still get a ticket?
Oops, I thought you were a prostitute...
A hundred dollar fine?! Maybe George Washington will change your mind.
please feel free to add to the list
American with an accent, Christian with a tat, sociopath with a heart, child with no mother, Lover with no Lover, confidently doubting, amused but not laughing, woman but child, feisty yet caring, sweet when not bitter.
#4
HeartsAreForBreaking
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Don't trust too much, don't need too much, don't Love too much. Because that too much will hurt you so much.
Posted 06 June 2011 - 12:56 AM
Oops. Where's the dam*** doll when you need it?
American with an accent, Christian with a tat, sociopath with a heart, child with no mother, Lover with no Lover, confidently doubting, amused but not laughing, woman but child, feisty yet caring, sweet when not bitter.
#5
the1truebat
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Yeah, I am that good.
Posted 06 June 2011 - 01:41 AM
Does your mamma know you're out playing cops and robbers?
Where's the rest of the Village People?
Where's the rest of the Village People?
I am the guy with the stick.
#6
Princess Tumbleweed
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"When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained" Mark Twain
Posted 06 June 2011 - 01:52 AM
Did they teach you how to be a jerk in the academy or is it just natural?
The Mighty oak was once a little nut that stood its ground
#7
the1truebat
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Yeah, I am that good.
Posted 06 June 2011 - 02:04 AM
Are those handcuffs for me?
I am the guy with the stick.
#8
Belial
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Devilish chappy.
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dogs bark cats meow i fart go figure?
Posted 06 June 2011 - 02:07 AM
**EDIT**
Edited by aquatus1, 06 June 2011 - 05:07 AM.
Where it states "For official use only" - gently rub a white wax candle over the area indicated.
Kick a habit - i never did like Tolkien...
Kick a habit - i never did like Tolkien...
#9
the1truebat
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Yeah, I am that good.
Posted 06 June 2011 - 04:18 AM
That's right, cuff me, I've been bad!
I am the guy with the stick.
#10
farandaway
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I know the voices aren't real...but they have some pretty good ideas!
Posted 06 June 2011 - 04:48 AM
Here's one that I actually said: "Well if it isn't Hill Street Blues incarnate." (This was not well received.)
Also don't ask "didn't you pull me over last night?"
Also don't ask "didn't you pull me over last night?"
And all dead years draw thither, and all disastrous things...
The Garden of Proserpine by Algernon Charles Swinburne
#11
the1truebat
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The Be All End All of the Universe
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Yeah, I am that good.
Posted 06 June 2011 - 04:50 AM
That's it Daddy, use the nightstick.
I am the guy with the stick.
#12
aquatus1
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Posted 06 June 2011 - 05:07 AM
**There is funny and there is abusive. Please try to not cross the line.**
#13
Ranyhyn
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People tell me what to say,
what to think ,
and what to play.
Posted 07 June 2011 - 12:14 AM
"I swear I didn't know she was 9!"
#14
aquatus1
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Posted 07 June 2011 - 12:23 AM
A police officer clocked a motorist at 20 miles above and pulled him over. Walking up to the window, she pulled out her ticket book and commented,
"I've been waiting for you the whole day."
Without missing a beat, the driver responded,
"In my defense, officer, I got here as fast as I could."
"I've been waiting for you the whole day."
Without missing a beat, the driver responded,
"In my defense, officer, I got here as fast as I could."
#15
maca02
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A Bear Of Very Little Brain
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ALL HAIL THE ALE
"There is no truth. There is only perception.”
Gustave Flaubert
Posted 07 June 2011 - 12:28 AM
Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!
Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!
ALL HAIL THE ALE
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