7 replies to this topic

[ChitownMisfit]

Hello to all,

I've been a lurker for quite some time now and love this community. This post is going to be long, but if you're willing to read it and share your opinions, I will be forever loving and grateful.

I have taken an interest in AP and other elements of spirituality within the last year or so to find my purpose in life. I have done a few guided meditations over the years to calm my anxiety and clear my mind and they do help.

The past three months, I have been under a lot of stress and also know that I have some variation of anxiety disorder. I have taken medication as needed in the past and it has helped, but the stressors, as of recently have been overwhelming.

I have recently graduated college and am having trouble finding work, I lost my part time job, have been drinking alcohol in excessively, and am talking with this woman in which I have no idea where it is going... and then it happened.

I was driving down the expressway a few days ago and I just missed my exit and I got lost. After this, all of these anxieties flooded into my mind to the point where I couldn't manage to hold the wheel straight. I felt powerless. I managed to pull my car over to the shoulder where I had a full blown panic attack. I have not had one in over five years.

After the ambulance came and I was checked out okay, I got a ride home where the anxiety was still unbearable.  I could not help but feel overwhelmed.

Over the next few days, I started noticing that I was becoming very trivial of where my life was going. Why was I living this way? Why did I let this stress break me away from the loving and honest person I want to be?

Then, I noticed my forehead become full of "heat" and an interesting sensation I have never felt before. This was then followed by an immense physical ache all over my body. Today, I feel a strong heat emitting from my back. It is kind of an itch.

As I was resting earlier, I noticed that I could see what I can only describe as particles moving through the air simultaneously. I am also feeling profound rushes of fuzzy feelings throughout my body. I have also felt vibrations in my crown before sleep, but am afraid to continue. (This has happened before while listening to a short hemi sync audio a few months back.) I never listened to them much.

I might add, that I have no desire to drink alcohol anymore and my appetite has been craving the oddest foods.

Something in my body is telling me that the more I repress my fears and emotions, the more I will live in torment.

I understand that there are completely plausible scientfic explanations for what has happened, but I just feel like a different person after this. In particular, I feel like it is some sort of sign that I cannot keep playing the indirect card with women to get what I want. I was a selfish womanizer for the past few years. This woman has said she wants to take it slow and that she likes me, and id usually just move on because I am impatient, but for some reason I feel as if this is a sign from somewhere to stop repressing my true emotions.

This experience has left me happy and also in a way confused. I am having trouble getting full nights sleep, but I have so much energy inside of me. Can anyone give me insight on where to go with this? I am confused and afraid to face all of these fears that have manifested anxiety in my soul, but I have a feeling I must.

If you can offer any guidance, I will be deeply grateful. Thank you in advance and I look forward to hearing what all of you beautiful souls have to say.

-T

[Seeker79]

parts of your experience has elements of a shamanic awakening. If this is true you should be headed for some OBEs.     On things is for certain. Your are definantly experiencing what's known as a transpersonal crisis or emergency ( as in emerg ). You should look it up. My advice is to view it calmly and let things happen. If something like your anxiety starts to affect your life negatively don't be ashamed to visit a therapist.

Edited by Seeker79, 08 July 2011 - 10:47 PM.

[ChitownMisfit]

I cannot thank you enough for your response. I am welcome to spiritual development, but I feel that my anxiety is stopping me from getting past a vibrational state. I am going to go with it though

I do see a therapist and she is helping me get a grasp on my anxiety.

Do you have any tips for getting past the fear of an OBE or APing? I feel that I can do it, but I am scared of what is going to happen.

Thank you again dearly

[Ryu]

It sounds to me like all of this anxiety finally came to a head and in the process you grew up a bit more by realizing that your mannerisms were blocking you from things like a pleasant relationship.

It sounds to me like you are in the process of relieving some of that pent up anxiety and it probably felt like a huge relief.
Nothing shamanic..just common sense finally being able to get through.

[Seeker79]

ChitownMisfit, on 08 July 2011 - 11:30 PM, said:

I cannot thank you enough for your response. I am welcome to spiritual development, but I feel that my anxiety is stopping me from getting past a vibrational state. I am going to go with it though

I do see a therapist and she is helping me get a grasp on my anxiety.

Do you have any tips for getting past the fear of an OBE or APing? I feel that I can do it, but I am scared of what is going to happen.

Thank you again dearly

Good a good therapist can be the trusted friend that so many of us lak. Be warned, she may not understand the whole transpersonsl crisis thing, but there are many Phd at stanford and other uneverusitied with credentials in transpersonsl psycology it's a budding field. I looked into it myself, but alasd to rich for my meager means. T

My only tip for getting past vibrations is just ...... Go with the flow. ( trust me evenchually you will wish they were as strong as they are for you now.... They become common place.)  That's what I did the first time. After that you still go into a hyperactive stage of faceing your fears head on. Be vigilant and seek to over come them. When you emerge you have healed yourself of these problems. and an entirely new world will open up to you..,,, infact many many new worlds will open up. I'll pm
You some stuff latter.

[Seeker79]

Sorry at about all the mistakes..., I was literally cooking crab for my 4 and 5 year olds that we caught on hand lines and a net on patio at a bed and breakfast in bodega bay ca. And I did have two shots of jack.... And my infant was going crazy.... With my wife yelling at me about how much the crab smelled.... U understand

How fun thus life us.

[yogiharman]

ChitownMisfit, on 08 July 2011 - 08:56 AM, said:

Hello to all,

I've been a lurker for quite some time now and love this community. This post is going to be long, but if you're willing to read it and share your opinions, I will be forever loving and grateful.

I have taken an interest in AP and other elements of spirituality within the last year or so to find my purpose in life. I have done a few guided meditations over the years to calm my anxiety and clear my mind and they do help.

The past three months, I have been under a lot of stress and also know that I have some variation of anxiety disorder. I have taken medication as needed in the past and it has helped, but the stressors, as of recently have been overwhelming.

I have recently graduated college and am having trouble finding work, I lost my part time job, have been drinking alcohol in excessively, and am talking with this woman in which I have no idea where it is going... and then it happened.

I was driving down the expressway a few days ago and I just missed my exit and I got lost. After this, all of these anxieties flooded into my mind to the point where I couldn't manage to hold the wheel straight. I felt powerless. I managed to pull my car over to the shoulder where I had a full blown panic attack. I have not had one in over five years.

After the ambulance came and I was checked out okay, I got a ride home where the anxiety was still unbearable.  I could not help but feel overwhelmed.

Over the next few days, I started noticing that I was becoming very trivial of where my life was going. Why was I living this way? Why did I let this stress break me away from the loving and honest person I want to be?

Then, I noticed my forehead become full of "heat" and an interesting sensation I have never felt before. This was then followed by an immense physical ache all over my body. Today, I feel a strong heat emitting from my back. It is kind of an itch.

As I was resting earlier, I noticed that I could see what I can only describe as particles moving through the air simultaneously. I am also feeling profound rushes of fuzzy feelings throughout my body. I have also felt vibrations in my crown before sleep, but am afraid to continue. (This has happened before while listening to a short hemi sync audio a few months back.) I never listened to them much.

I might add, that I have no desire to drink alcohol anymore and my appetite has been craving the oddest foods.

Something in my body is telling me that the more I repress my fears and emotions, the more I will live in torment.

I understand that there are completely plausible scientfic explanations for what has happened, but I just feel like a different person after this. In particular, I feel like it is some sort of sign that I cannot keep playing the indirect card with women to get what I want. I was a selfish womanizer for the past few years. This woman has said she wants to take it slow and that she likes me, and id usually just move on because I am impatient, but for some reason I feel as if this is a sign from somewhere to stop repressing my true emotions.

This experience has left me happy and also in a way confused. I am having trouble getting full nights sleep, but I have so much energy inside of me. Can anyone give me insight on where to go with this? I am confused and afraid to face all of these fears that have manifested anxiety in my soul, but I have a feeling I must.

If you can offer any guidance, I will be deeply grateful. Thank you in advance and I look forward to hearing what all of you beautiful souls have to say.

-T

No doubt that your Kundalini is awakened and you are talking about sixth chakra named "Ajna". You are lucky in spiritual manner, so need not to be confused or afraid of this sensation. you are right that now you feel like different person cause this spiritual energy kill your duplicate personality and real face comes up. Here we are talking about last and top most meditation among all meditation yogas " Kundalini ". One thing you need to be careful that wrongly treated or wrongly awakened Kundalini is harmful, so don't try to do any technique of Kundalini yoga without supervision of a Kundalini teacher, as some people try these while watching videos on youtube, It is extremely dangerous. So you are advised to find a Kundlaini teacher in your area and learn accurate way of Kundalini Yoga. Hope this will help you, you are welcome if i can help you in anything else, thanks. Jai Gurudev.

[Beany]

It's hard to carry on with a daily life/routine with this happening, I suspect. Something similiar happened to me, at a time when I thought kundalini was some kind of strange vegetable! It's what got me into metaphysics, looking for an explanation for it. I finally got some good advice about managing it, and an explanation of what a kundalini awakening is, I'll pass it on to you. First, learn how to shut down your crown chakra. Imagine it as a big flat-bottomed ice cream cone sitting on top of your head. Take a moment to guesstimate how big in diameter the bottom part is. It's probably 8-10 inches. To close it down, ask it to shrink to about 3" in diameter. After you've visualized that, ask it to open up wide, it will probably spring out to the original dimension. Then ask it to shut down to 3". Then let it open up again. Each time you do this, take a few moments to experience how it feels, so that you become aware of the differences between the two. I say ask, because you want to work with it, not against it, you don't want to force it. Finish off by closing it up to 3". It will probably open on its own, but you'll be aware of it when it happens, and can close it up again. By doing this you'll gain control over it, at least I did. Now, I can open it when I'm outdoors, or with people I love, or in a safe environment, or want to get a better sense of someone.

The other thing you can do is wear a white hat/cap to keep your crown chakra covered. With time the high energy becomes assimilated into your body and your body adjusts to it, but until that happens, go with the flow! It's sort of like putting on too much aftershave, after a while it dissipates, but you still smell good! Best of luck with this. My experiences were wonderful, still are, it changed my life & belief system in a very positive way, and never did anything happen that I found frightening. I hope this practical advice helps you as much as it did me.