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The Bad Advice Game


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#91    FLOMBIE

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Posted 25 October 2011 - 06:06 PM

A steel brush; you won't ever feel the need for a toothpick again.

My train has a 35-minute-delay. How can I make the time passing by faster?


#92    BiffSplitkins

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Posted 25 October 2011 - 06:37 PM

Find all the vertical support walls on the train platform. Stand back about 10 feet and run headfirst into each one until you find the one that magically transports you into Harry Potter world. Once there, find Voldemort and kill him once and for all. That should kill a little time for you. :D

My shoelace is untied and I'm too lazy to bend down and tie it up. What should I do?

"The problem with internet quotes is that you cant always depend on their accuracy" -Abraham Lincoln, 1864

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#93    Princess Tumbleweed

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Posted 25 October 2011 - 10:27 PM

Go to the nearest shoe store and as a shoe pro to tie it fr you.

I wan't everything to go my way, how can I get this to happen?

The Mighty oak was once a little nut that stood its ground


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#94    aNoNymOus XO

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Posted 25 October 2011 - 10:57 PM

pay me 1000 dollars a week and i will do whatever you want however you want (not being perverted!) lol ;)

i have to pee but i dont feel like it what do i do?


#95    Bracket

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Posted 25 October 2011 - 11:31 PM

Just let loose right now. It's very relaxing.  :lol:

give me a reason to get up early tomorrow.

I never doubted myself for a minute for I knew that my monkey-strong bowels were girded with strength, like the loins of a dragon ribboned with fat and the opulence of buffalo dung.

Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn

*Note to self, need more henchman, good ones this time. Also, start auditions for new female lab assistant.

#96    BiffSplitkins

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Posted 26 October 2011 - 11:50 AM

View PostBracket, on 25 October 2011 - 11:31 PM, said:

give me a reason to get up early tomorrow.
Someone replaced your bedroom window with a huge magnifying glass. If you don't get up before the sun shines through it, you are toast.


My kids are always stealing my mobile phone charger. How can I stop this?

"The problem with internet quotes is that you cant always depend on their accuracy" -Abraham Lincoln, 1864

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#97    Helen of Annoy

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Posted 26 October 2011 - 05:16 PM

Peel the insulation off the cord to expose live wire close to the plug, to make sure anyone who tries to unplug it will touch the wire. And, of course, leave it plugged in.
In case you love your kids, then simply buy few extra chargers of the same type.

It’s raining and hate umbrellas. How should I protect myself from the rain?

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Have I ever lost the plot while reading one of your posts?
The will to live maybe, but not the plot...  -  Junior Chubb

#98    Princess Tumbleweed

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Posted 27 October 2011 - 05:50 AM

put a trash bag over your head and tie it around your neck, cut eye holes in it while wearing it. A jabbing motion would work fine.

I'm wondering how an old friend is doing but I don't want to call, what should I do?

The Mighty oak was once a little nut that stood its ground


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#99    Helen of Annoy

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Posted 27 October 2011 - 05:05 PM

Go through their trash... trash really says everything about someone.
You can also peek through their windows and steal their mail. You will, of course, return it in their mailbox after you’re done reading it, with small gifts attached, like candy or lingerie, that will make them sure there's nothing to worry about.

I hate vacuum cleaners too, they’re too noisy. What should I do instead of vacuuming?

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Have I ever lost the plot while reading one of your posts?
The will to live maybe, but not the plot...  -  Junior Chubb

#100    Princess Tumbleweed

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Posted 27 October 2011 - 06:32 PM

Nothing, just walk all over the dirt, it's just going to get messy agin anyways

my nails are making loud clanking noise on my computer strokes, what can I do to stop this?

The Mighty oak was once a little nut that stood its ground


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#101    Bracket

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Posted 27 October 2011 - 07:16 PM

You should cut off your fingertips and use the bloody stumps.

What should i do about the itch in my ear?

I never doubted myself for a minute for I knew that my monkey-strong bowels were girded with strength, like the loins of a dragon ribboned with fat and the opulence of buffalo dung.

Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn

*Note to self, need more henchman, good ones this time. Also, start auditions for new female lab assistant.

#102    Helen of Annoy

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Posted 28 October 2011 - 05:23 PM

Sing to it until it gives up and moves away.
You can also simply scratch it, I suggest using knitting needle, it allows you to scratch both ears at the same time.

Where can I practice archery?

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Have I ever lost the plot while reading one of your posts?
The will to live maybe, but not the plot...  -  Junior Chubb

#103    Princess Tumbleweed

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Posted 30 October 2011 - 03:48 AM

In my ex-mother in laws bed room while she sleeps.

I want to travel, how can I do this with very little money?

The Mighty oak was once a little nut that stood its ground


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#104    Helen of Annoy

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Posted 30 October 2011 - 09:01 AM

Join the army.  
If you want more diverse destinations, board cargo ship, the rest of the crew will even pay you for being there for them. a-hem.

Peel the potatoes.

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Have I ever lost the plot while reading one of your posts?
The will to live maybe, but not the plot...  -  Junior Chubb

#105    FLOMBIE

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Posted 08 December 2011 - 03:54 PM

Get in your car and place the potatos on the passenger seat. Start driving and take the highway. When you are going fast enough, you can open your door, hold the potatos to the asphalt, and start rotating them in your hand. You will find out that potato peeling has never been that easy before.

I'd like an advice on speeding up shaving in the morning. Any ideas?





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