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#181    White Crane Feather

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Posted 24 January 2012 - 06:03 AM

View PostTHINGSCHANGE87, on 24 January 2012 - 12:14 AM, said:

my question is when will i be at peace?
Your answer is a simple one. You will be at peace When you decide to be. One of the only only things  we have to do in our lives is to decide who are relative to our circumstances. you can choose peace.

Why don't you make a list of things that you you feel are causing you unrest and let's tackle them together.

"I wish neither to possess, Nor to be possessed. I no longer covet paradise, more important, I no longer fear hell. The medicine for my suffering I had within me from the very beginning, but I did not take it. My ailment came from within myself, But I did not observe it until this moment. Now I see that I will never find the light.  Unless, like the candle, I am my own fuel, Consuming myself. "
Bruce Lee-

#182    RhynoPrincess

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Posted 25 January 2012 - 01:55 PM

Hi seeker! My question is.... Who was the presence I was feeling following me around before but is now gone?


#183    littleriot

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Posted 25 January 2012 - 01:59 PM

hello again, a question has sort of arose that i would like to ask your guides.
Recently in meditations a new kind of guide figure has emerged, but I do not trust them to be what they say they are, and I am instinctively wary of the connection which seems far different than that of any other guiding figures I have met. Should I trust them to be a positive force or how should I proceed?


#184    White Crane Feather

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Posted 25 January 2012 - 03:25 PM

View PostRhynoPrincess, on 25 January 2012 - 01:55 PM, said:

Hi seeker! My question is.... Who was the presence I was feeling following me around before but is now gone?
The question is nearly impossible for me to answer. We are visited constantly by guides relatives and other beings that hAppen upon us. The real question should be why were you aware of this one in particular. I can tell you right now that it hung around because you noticed. Or merely you had an episode of awareness that allowed you to be aware of a spirit guide.

Boy: Who it was.... A relative or spirit guide.... Possibly both. That's a probability assessment. Still yet living humans can project to you like spirits and follow you even if they are awake? Human spirit bodys can act independent of thei physical they are just not aware of it.

"I wish neither to possess, Nor to be possessed. I no longer covet paradise, more important, I no longer fear hell. The medicine for my suffering I had within me from the very beginning, but I did not take it. My ailment came from within myself, But I did not observe it until this moment. Now I see that I will never find the light.  Unless, like the candle, I am my own fuel, Consuming myself. "
Bruce Lee-

#185    White Crane Feather

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Posted 25 January 2012 - 03:49 PM

View Postlittleriot, on 25 January 2012 - 01:59 PM, said:

hello again, a question has sort of arose that i would like to ask your guides.
Recently in meditations a new kind of guide figure has emerged, but I do not trust them to be what they say they are, and I am instinctively wary of the connection which seems far different than that of any other guiding figures I have met. Should I trust them to be a positive force or how should I proceed?

her: you need to be careful. Not because of the spirit but because of you. Letting anything that has a sponsoring emotion of fear control your actions in spirit is sure to cause problems. Animal instincts do not belong in spiritual matters. The spirit is obviously a much more evolved state than the animal state. Human beings are both with each one fighting for control of the ego.

If you want success in spiritual matters You have to give up things like mistrust, fear of death, and fear in general. You have to give it up like a bad addiction and it can be just as hard as a real one.
....
This is why guides help you give it up when you start becoming  aware. And if you are not ready to, their actions will keep you from delving into insanity. Those who continue with spiritual work with lak of control usually end up in some dogmatic or insane state. You see them all over the place. These are the guys that are convinced evil spirits are around every corner, the government is using mind control, their being haunted by evil entities etc etc etc.

I'm not going to tell you the rest. I know that sounds cryptic and it's not ment to be, but this path is one of discovery. And if I ruin the punchline for you I may rob you of the experience Which is where real growth and understanding happens.

You have to face and conquer all anxieties in spiritual matters or they will hold you back. maby you could learn the Mara meditation. That's what I call it. Or vision quests help you accelerate this process.  Or continue to work with your guides and they will bring the opertunity to you... (hint) that is what is happening already.

Good luck. I'm here. One of the reasons I post at UM Is because I had no one during the awakening process.

"I wish neither to possess, Nor to be possessed. I no longer covet paradise, more important, I no longer fear hell. The medicine for my suffering I had within me from the very beginning, but I did not take it. My ailment came from within myself, But I did not observe it until this moment. Now I see that I will never find the light.  Unless, like the candle, I am my own fuel, Consuming myself. "
Bruce Lee-

#186    White Crane Feather

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Posted 25 January 2012 - 03:52 PM

View Postlittleriot, on 25 January 2012 - 01:59 PM, said:

hello again, a question has sort of arose that i would like to ask your guides.
Recently in meditations a new kind of guide figure has emerged, but I do not trust them to be what they say they are, and I am instinctively wary of the connection which seems far different than that of any other guiding figures I have met. Should I trust them to be a positive force or how should I proceed?
Oh,

You should aproach this matter with a calm, kind, and open mind. But if your space or personal power is violated.... Treat it like a bully and fight back ferociously. Trust me.

"I wish neither to possess, Nor to be possessed. I no longer covet paradise, more important, I no longer fear hell. The medicine for my suffering I had within me from the very beginning, but I did not take it. My ailment came from within myself, But I did not observe it until this moment. Now I see that I will never find the light.  Unless, like the candle, I am my own fuel, Consuming myself. "
Bruce Lee-

#187    littleriot

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Posted 25 January 2012 - 04:22 PM

Thank you,
I understand. My real fear is of that kind of insanity or of being misled by some entity or dream- I feel very vulnerable when communicating with them, it is so dreamlike.

I think I might have had two vision quests over the past few days, but I'm not sure if that defines them because I wasn't deeply unaware of the physical world. This didn't seem to hinder the vivid/coherency of the dream/vision world. I entered myself through choice after meditation but it soon became less in my control and design- I stepped into a lake and reached the bottom, where there were many doors. This guide was waiting through a door in a corridor of trees. I got the jist that they wanted to lead me to somewhere, I'm pretty sure it has an association with a place in that world- a sort of city that I had difficulty entering in the previous day's journey with another guide.

I followed them out into the lake floor and into another door. Something just told me that I was in the wrong place, and the image of this place and people in it seemed to blink between what I was looking for and what it really was- black and shattered. I left quickly and following my intuition found another door where the true version of this place/city was and it was so more beautiful and gentle and glorious. The entity I had believed to be my guide could not come in and when I left again there was a definite negative feeling, not so much anger as displeasure from them as they waited outside. I then continued to the door I knew from the previous visit and the other guide.

I just worry that I created the feeling through fear rather than picked up on it, that I am warping this with my own nerves/hesitations. Perhaps this was even a lesson of some sort. I will proceed carefully, but openly, I am far from having detached my spiritual side from human concerns and will make an effort to do so- I understand this will take time and experience. I'll look into that meditation, thank you for the advice. It is difficult to navigate this new spectrum when one is so used to definates and human guidance, but I appreciate why you do not reveal more- I look forward to making these discoveries myself.


#188    White Crane Feather

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Posted 25 January 2012 - 05:32 PM

View Postlittleriot, on 25 January 2012 - 04:22 PM, said:

Thank you,
I understand. My real fear is of that kind of insanity or of being misled by some entity or dream- I feel very vulnerable when communicating with them, it is so dreamlike.

I think I might have had two vision quests over the past few days, but I'm not sure if that defines them because I wasn't deeply unaware of the physical world. This didn't seem to hinder the vivid/coherency of the dream/vision world. I entered myself through choice after meditation but it soon became less in my control and design- I stepped into a lake and reached the bottom, where there were many doors. This guide was waiting through a door in a corridor of trees. I got the jist that they wanted to lead me to somewhere, I'm pretty sure it has an association with a place in that world- a sort of city that I had difficulty entering in the previous day's journey with another guide.

I followed them out into the lake floor and into another door. Something just told me that I was in the wrong place, and the image of this place and people in it seemed to blink between what I was looking for and what it really was- black and shattered. I left quickly and following my intuition found another door where the true version of this place/city was and it was so more beautiful and gentle and glorious. The entity I had believed to be my guide could not come in and when I left again there was a definite negative feeling, not so much anger as displeasure from them as they waited outside. I then continued to the door I knew from the previous visit and the other guide.

I just worry that I created the feeling through fear rather than picked up on it, that I am warping this with my own nerves/hesitations. Perhaps this was even a lesson of some sort. I will proceed carefully, but openly, I am far from having detached my spiritual side from human concerns and will make an effort to do so- I understand this will take time and experience. I'll look into that meditation, thank you for the advice. It is difficult to navigate this new spectrum when one is so used to definates and human guidance, but I appreciate why you do not reveal more- I look forward to making these discoveries myself.

Well it sounds like you are already sifting through everything. The mara mediation is not something you are going to find on the net or in books. I called it that because just after I put myself there, I read the account of the buhdda faceing the demon hords of Mara, and how he defeated them.

Also, by vision quest, I ment a real three day excursion alone in the wilderness. Nothing will make you face your fears in real life quicker than three nights of sleep deprivation and fasting Alone in pitch black night far from civilization. You will also learn much more about your guides. ( dont try it unless you pm that you want to, and I'll give you specifics on safety and such)

Hear I'll post my experience from my journals of what I call the Mara meditation.  It's actually pretty recent, my last battle with Fear. A showdown so to speak. A few days latter I calmed down a bit and actually have come to think this might be good for very certain people. And I may do it again to keep my awareness of fear sharp. But I would never guide anyone to this if I did not see the neslcessary awareness to overcome it.

From my journals.

Well I have to say this is not for the feint of heart. I have not written in my journal yet.... I'm stil digesting what I just did.

Long story short in some meditations this night, morning whatever it is, In my persuit of duel concousness and the little bit of recent encouragement. I ran across something that no one should attempt unless you are fully prepared to face your animal self. I have been at at this for a while and I am still not totally sure if it was for better or worse.

I managed to slip myself into sort of a fully lucid hypnogogia. I had full motor function but in a complete altered state. It was voluntary. I was holding this state on purpose but I had never been here before, so I was curious.

Let's just say that the fearful animal inside of the Human mind is a powerful force. I felt the old dread presence... But not being out of body I had nothing to face. I decided to explore a bit. Television was hell. Every face contorted and changed in some way that just made everything look evil. Only children's faces did not. Knowing I was in an altered state I tried very hard to control it... But they all had some sort of horrendous plot against me. I almost ended the whole thing, but I was not going to leave things like that. "Never stop practice because a bad fall"

I maintained the walking meditation while I went to the bathroom. I cant explained it accurately, but I could hear everything.... Every tiny movement of my sweat shirt, my feet, the television. I thought I could hear my kids moving around upstairs. Cars somewhere outside, wind, the buzz of the lights. Everything.... it was maddening... And it was all out to get me!!!!! I did not end it or react out of sheer stuburness. I knew that my animal self that part of us that comes from some sort of rodent in our evolutionary past was rearing it's head. I refused to let it win.

When I was finished with the longest pee of my life,

( that's how you know im not a liar.... Who else would maintain a hellish Altered state while taking a piss just to proove something to himself )

I looked up. I had been keeping my head down because I knew something was in the mirror... Me.. I know what mirrors do to a lot of people in altered states. I had to reconcile that had been avoiding facing my mirror image. ( I know Somone is going to go all Freudian on er... But this is more basic than that...)

Sure enough my face was evil and contorted. Like some horror movie.... But on subtle ways that seemed to change all the time. Again like the person in the mirror had a horror plot against me.

Again I almost ended it. But I wanted to beat this. I continued starring at myself wrestling with it. I wanted to force it into being normal. I don't know how long I stood there. I could still hear everything in the house. I could swear my kids were running around uptstairs.

It was not until I gave up and whispered harshly " fine! I dont give a ****!" then my face snapped back. It was bright, flushed, wonderful.... I'm not a vain person at all with my looks I consider myself average, but for the first time in my life i looked awesome. I liked everything I saw. Except that my pupils had grown to nearly replace my irises. It looked like I was on drugs ( I do not do drugs). I was still altered. I ended up walking ouside. I had to hold my hand out to keep focus and hold all the demonic things I was conjuring from every shadow. I had to resist the Urg to yell at them.... Yelling at invisible creatures in my side yard is sure to finish me off on the crazy list. At least I was doing this to myself on purpose. I did not want it to stop because I was afraid. I wanted to end it on my own terms. I did. But it took a while twice I almost freaked and ended the altered state. It was not as difficult as AP to hold. I can't explain it.. Like a different corodoor of the mind turning left instead of right.

After pacing back end forth for a while, I was able to get rid of most of the anxiety. When I felt like I had control ( barely) I went back into the house. I checked myself one more time in the mirror... Still good... I closed my eyes and brought myself out of trance. All the noises faded, my pupils stayed dialated for a while. I felt like I was going to explode with energy. Like restless leg syndrome all over my body..... And I vowed to never do that again. Im pushing a little to close schitzo for my comfort level... It's time to take a break.

Do not attempt this!!!!!!

I am well prepaired but I am done with this. Bringing your full animal self out while maintaining body functions is a risky move. It was quite a shocked... I'm still not fully recovered. Adrenaline was coursing through me like a drug and I puked not long after. There is even a linger of that problem looking at faces. But also people look so much better looking even guys now that I know what they can look like.

I have herd of some hindus and shaman Persuing things like this... But for me I don't see the point at this point other than to proove to myself I have mastered those awful irrational fears.

Wooooo

That was a doozy I'm going to have to sit on that one a long time. Come to find out my wife did not sleep a wink either.... My kids and baby actually were waking up all night. I was really hearing them run around. There seems to be disturbance in everyone's sleep when I go off the deep end. I will not do anything like this at home ever again. I will never do this one again at all.

Don't play with this one folks I could easily see Somone crossing lines hear. I think I may have.

"I wish neither to possess, Nor to be possessed. I no longer covet paradise, more important, I no longer fear hell. The medicine for my suffering I had within me from the very beginning, but I did not take it. My ailment came from within myself, But I did not observe it until this moment. Now I see that I will never find the light.  Unless, like the candle, I am my own fuel, Consuming myself. "
Bruce Lee-

#189    littleriot

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Posted 25 January 2012 - 06:05 PM

Ah, I just wasn't sure what you meant by that. I'd love to try it sometime, right now I doubt it would be possible with school/Irish winter, but I definitely would consider that in future months. Yes, after that reply I googled a bit and didn't find much but I did read some information on Mara and Buddha.

That experience sounds real interesting, I imagine it would take a lot to overcome it especially when it is so interwoven with the real world.

Oddly enough pretty recently I dreamt that I caught my reflection in a mirror and one exact half of my face was terrifyingly warped and fallen and deformed, so I understand what a horrible kind of vision that is to look upon- I tried mirror gazing last weekend, focusing on my own aura and awareness, and when I got [after about 15 minutes] into a sort of trance state, my own face started to become like a skull, the skin grey and cracked and decayed, and the eye sockets & mouth black pits. I pulled myself out of it and left the room, uncomfortable, but I could try again and confront it before I try anything deeper, and I might attempt something similar to what you did if this problem doesn't resolve and I feel up to it, thanks.


#190    karmakazi

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Posted 25 January 2012 - 07:25 PM

View PostTHINGSCHANGE87, on 12 December 2011 - 11:59 PM, said:

i'm becoming more and more unstable everyday and i was wondering if any entities can give me some advice on how to control my temper and impulses.


I appologize for jumping in on Seeker's thread like this, there's a possibility that your blood sugar could be part of the cause.  If you haven't already, it's worth getting it checked because hypo/hyper glycemia & diabetes can cause mood swings and pretty severe anger/agression.

There is no greater risk in life than doing nothing.

#191    White Crane Feather

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Posted 31 January 2012 - 06:36 AM

View Postkarmakazi, on 25 January 2012 - 07:25 PM, said:

I appologize for jumping in on Seeker's thread like this, there's a possibility that your blood sugar could be part of the cause.  If you haven't already, it's worth getting it checked because hypo/hyper glycemia & diabetes can cause mood swings and pretty severe anger/agression.
No need to aplogize. This young man needs to defeat this. Any and all advice is good for him.

"I wish neither to possess, Nor to be possessed. I no longer covet paradise, more important, I no longer fear hell. The medicine for my suffering I had within me from the very beginning, but I did not take it. My ailment came from within myself, But I did not observe it until this moment. Now I see that I will never find the light.  Unless, like the candle, I am my own fuel, Consuming myself. "
Bruce Lee-

#192    White Crane Feather

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Posted 31 January 2012 - 06:38 AM

View Postlittleriot, on 25 January 2012 - 06:05 PM, said:

Ah, I just wasn't sure what you meant by that. I'd love to try it sometime, right now I doubt it would be possible with school/Irish winter, but I definitely would consider that in future months. Yes, after that reply I googled a bit and didn't find much but I did read some information on Mara and Buddha.

That experience sounds real interesting, I imagine it would take a lot to overcome it especially when it is so interwoven with the real world.

Oddly enough pretty recently I dreamt that I caught my reflection in a mirror and one exact half of my face was terrifyingly warped and fallen and deformed, so I understand what a horrible kind of vision that is to look upon- I tried mirror gazing last weekend, focusing on my own aura and awareness, and when I got [after about 15 minutes] into a sort of trance state, my own face started to become like a skull, the skin grey and cracked and decayed, and the eye sockets & mouth black pits. I pulled myself out of it and left the room, uncomfortable, but I could try again and confront it before I try anything deeper, and I might attempt something similar to what you did if this problem doesn't resolve and I feel up to it, thanks.
The words "odly enough" or "ironically" always preceed synchronistic stories uselly close in time. Nothing surprises me anymore when those words are uttered.

"I wish neither to possess, Nor to be possessed. I no longer covet paradise, more important, I no longer fear hell. The medicine for my suffering I had within me from the very beginning, but I did not take it. My ailment came from within myself, But I did not observe it until this moment. Now I see that I will never find the light.  Unless, like the candle, I am my own fuel, Consuming myself. "
Bruce Lee-

#193    bLu3 de 3n3rgy

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Posted 31 January 2012 - 06:34 PM

*Posts removed*

dside you are derailing this thread, whatever your motive is it doesn't belong in this forum. This forum is not a debate forum and to do so is considered derailment. Take the conversation to PM or start a new thread to debate this and allow this thread to return to what it's here for.

Thank you.

Edited by AnVil, 31 January 2012 - 06:55 PM.

The Astral Projection Techniques Thread Here
*Golden rule, anything you extract, fill with light -- the universe doesn't like voids to be left.
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#194    White Crane Feather

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Posted 03 February 2012 - 05:27 PM

Watch out for the stomach flu. It's just starting to hit my area, and I saw them comeing in a journey. I think it's a particularly strong bug.

From my journals


It's a strange night. My 6 year old had his 1st text book sleep pralysis event. The kids all went crazy about the same time. My four year old woke up and my 8 month old Started screaming all about the same time. My body is buzzing with chills and presence feelings. I will journey tonight. Someone is hanging about, and I want to find out why. I'll edit and add to this if anything happens. I can tell it's going to be a wild night.

Continued:

So I was able to create a very quick vibration initiation and exit. I lifted out of my body onto the floor. Without doing a reality check in made a flying leap through the sliding glass door out to the balcony. Into the air for flight. No hiccups going through the glass. I shot into the air and turned toward the mountains. I flew for quite some time diveing in and out of ravines, flying low and weaving through trees. It was all very beautiful and the wind on my face very invigorating. Finally I could feel this pull to this grassy hill. I landed there. After all I was journeying to investigate the strangeness of the night. I sat there for a while. Then I saw them.

They were sort of marching in a line. Robotic like people. I called to them, and I got their attention and they started toword me. I could feel a bit of anxiety begin to surface, so I quickly put it down else I would return or loose control of the trance.

When they got to me they sort of formally surrounded me. Still steadying myself with an observers mentality, I start to ask what this is all about. Then one behind grabs my arm and sort makes an effort to restrain me. ( they don't know who they are dealing with), I create a pressure pulse in 360 degrees that knocks them all back and to the ground. I then go to one and stand over it and ask him what that was for. But there is nothing. Just blank soulless and eyeless image. I have sen these eyless entities before. They represent disease. Fever and flu.

I have a feeling a flu is about to sweep through my house. In don't feel anything yet, but these eyeless entities are always around when there are viruses present. My interpretation of the spiritual componant of diseases. I'll stock up on plantain, mint, and yarrow today. I'll have to buy the yarrow. I'll also make sure we have some baby motrin available.

Follow up.
After that journey I told my wife to change cloths when she comes home, and to take a showers imeadiatly after work because there is a bug going around. She didn't ask how I knew, when I start talking like that in the morning she knows it came from "dreams". Sure enough when she got home that day She told me a lot of people are sick with a stomach flu. Then yesterday ( the day after this journey) my assistant has the stomach flu and lots of kids are not comeing in for classes. So far so good for it not being in our house.

"I wish neither to possess, Nor to be possessed. I no longer covet paradise, more important, I no longer fear hell. The medicine for my suffering I had within me from the very beginning, but I did not take it. My ailment came from within myself, But I did not observe it until this moment. Now I see that I will never find the light.  Unless, like the candle, I am my own fuel, Consuming myself. "
Bruce Lee-

#195    The_Sensual_One

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Posted 11 February 2012 - 03:39 PM

Hello Seeker, I have a new question.

I had recently broke up and got a divorce. In a way I felt relieved like a weight was lifted off of my shoulders. And I never stay single for long. I was searching for my soul mate. I know he's out there but feel like I'm running n circles.

Question: Will I end up getting back together with my ex or will I move on and form a new bond with someone new or even my soul mate?

The truth is we are spiritual beings living a human experience.





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