38 replies to this topic

[Hostess]

I have always been described by people as extremely empathetic. I didn't know what an "empath" was until I looked it up after reading a post on this site, today. I can read how people feel at all times. I feel their emotions, but not as if they were mine- I don't know how to explain it. I have also been told that I am "insightful." My Dad told me I was "the most insightful person I have ever met." I was 14 when he said that, lol. I know what people need to hear and I am not afraid to tell them. I am real and honest with people. I feel like I am tooting my own horn when I talk about this, though
Also I apparently give pretty good advice on things I have never experienced, myself. I get emotions from others to help me help them, and there's just something in me guiding me to the right thing to say.


I don't know what to think of all this  

[Tia]

I am to a degree also an empath but I feel it seems only the sad and bad things people are feeling so I have to try and pull myself away from these people. If I can help them I do but being a nurse I have to deal with so much pain at times it's awful.

If you let it it will make you physically and emotionally ill, you need to learn ways to block it out if it ever becomes too much which at the moment it doesn't seem that way.

[Tia]

Sorry computer double posted.  

Edited by Tia, 29 January 2012 - 12:10 PM.

[Non sequitur]

Hostess, on 29 January 2012 - 09:39 AM, said:

I have always been described by people as extremely empathetic. I didn't know what an "empath" was until I looked it up after reading a post on this site, today. I can read how people feel at all times. I feel their emotions, but not as if they were mine- I don't know how to explain it. I have also been told that I am "insightful." My Dad told me I was "the most insightful person I have ever met." I was 14 when he said that, lol. I know what people need to hear and I am not afraid to tell them. I am real and honest with people. I feel like I am tooting my own horn when I talk about this, though
Also I apparently give pretty good advice on things I have never experienced, myself. I get emotions from others to help me help them, and there's just something in me guiding me to the right thing to say.


I don't know what to think of all this  

nah its only tooting ones horn if you brag about something great you can do or have achieved...i see nothing extraordinary about your claims.There are a million + others just like you

[Hostess]

Tia, on 29 January 2012 - 12:08 PM, said:

I am to a degree also an empath but I feel it seems only the sad and bad things people are feeling so I have to try and pull myself away from these people. If I can help them I do but being a nurse I have to deal with so much pain at times it's awful.

If you let it it will make you physically and emotionally ill, you need to learn ways to block it out if it ever becomes too much which at the moment it doesn't seem that way.

Before I went on medication, I was very depressed and suicidal. The fact I could feel that others didn't want to be around men reinforced the idea in my head that I was worthless. In reality, no one wanted to be near me because I was never happy and didn't talk to anyone, and a bit of a downer.

[JGirl]

Hostess, on 29 January 2012 - 09:39 AM, said:

I have always been described by people as extremely empathetic. I didn't know what an "empath" was until I looked it up after reading a post on this site, today. I can read how people feel at all times. I feel their emotions, but not as if they were mine- I don't know how to explain it. I have also been told that I am "insightful." My Dad told me I was "the most insightful person I have ever met." I was 14 when he said that, lol. I know what people need to hear and I am not afraid to tell them. I am real and honest with people. I feel like I am tooting my own horn when I talk about this, though
Also I apparently give pretty good advice on things I have never experienced, myself. I get emotions from others to help me help them, and there's just something in me guiding me to the right thing to say.


I don't know what to think of all this  

have you ever heard of the mbti test?
i think you may have infj tendencies.

[Hostess]

JGirl, on 29 January 2012 - 06:17 PM, said:

have you ever heard of the mbti test?
i think you may have infj tendencies.

I took the test and got ENFP, but did not relate to a lot of the things in there.
I looked at other personality types, including INFJ, and none of these fully express me. I go about things based only on feeling & intuition. I am not quite spontaneous, but I am, sometimes. Mostly I like to plan out what I am going to do and then constantly amend that plan as I go along. I am almost never wrong- not quite sure why (I'm just being honest). I am not a very moral person. I am 80% focused on others and have been focusing on myself more, lately (I used to be severely depressed & was only concerned with others' feelings). I hate doing routine tasks- they are incredibly boring (for example, math is the easiest thing in the world but I hate it because all I do is remember formulas and then plug in different numbers into the same thing over and over and over again). I am good at so many things and have so many ideas that I don't know what to do with myself half the time.  I never follow the same routine in the morning more than once- it change every day. My work-space is always untidy. I feel others' emotions more than I feel my own. When working on a project, I do things my way and leave little room for input (even though I am basically making it up as I go along). I am great with people.


As far as I can see, none of the personality types fit me even 50%.

[gnostic-deity]

i too believe i have empathic abilities. i feel how others are feeling and it can be quite overwhelming at times. i try to stay away from people and events with too many energies. its just a matter of controlling how u let it affect you.

[Mentalcase]

Hostess, on 29 January 2012 - 09:39 AM, said:

I have always been described by people as extremely empathetic. I didn't know what an "empath" was until I looked it up after reading a post on this site, today. I can read how people feel at all times. I feel their emotions, but not as if they were mine- I don't know how to explain it. I have also been told that I am "insightful." My Dad told me I was "the most insightful person I have ever met." I was 14 when he said that, lol. I know what people need to hear and I am not afraid to tell them. I am real and honest with people. I feel like I am tooting my own horn when I talk about this, though
Also I apparently give pretty good advice on things I have never experienced, myself. I get emotions from others to help me help them, and there's just something in me guiding me to the right thing to say.


I don't know what to think of all this  

Parents are good at saying things which encourage their children. Empathy is a natural, human emotion/trait. You are no more special then the next person. Sure, some people are sociopaths or psychopaths, but that is a different topic all together. My link


It's a great quality to center on, but it can also be a curse. People will eventually walk all over you, if all you care about is their needs. It is good to keep empathy in balance with your own needs. Being over-sensitive to others isn't always good. Sometimes, people need to feel their own pain/guilt/whatever without draining others energy.


My point is, empathy is a very general trait. I would say, I'm not being empathetic to your needs for attention. I've read a few of your recent topics and I have to say, it seems like you believe you are more special then the average person. TO me, it seems like a fad. Something which someone has made you believe. Personally, I would try to focus on teaching yourself the difference between truth and fiction. Knowledge is the best key to self worth.

I too, feel the need to tell people what they need to hear.

[rainbowhunter]

YEP so no what u mean

rainbowhunter, on 16 February 2012 - 05:24 PM, said:

YEP so no what u mean

hostess

[3amfright]

Being an Empath is not above average, it's just one more sense heightened naturally compared to others. By definition I'm easily & often called an Empath. That's not how I see things though or care to label myself. If asked & I have to explain myself I simply say I'm sensitive.

Think of people as what they really are - controlled physical bone & tissues masses of energy. Everything we do comes out of us in an electrical current. Static electricity being the most obvious example. But on a deeper level our thoughts, our feelings, our physical ailments & so forth sit upon our skin like a current.

When a person is Empathic or Sensitive, we just read those energies better. It is different than the average because we don't just do it with family members or people we know, we feel things just as strongly with strangers at the mall as we do with grandma or our pet cat. It also comes to us (or should I just say me) differently. It's like....hearing someone say "I wish I could just say aloud I'm secretly unhappy with (insert unhappiness)" and us actually hearing it but as a disconnected feeling. Just like you know the minute you've made a wrong turn, something feels off, it's that same kind of feeling except when we ask "what is it?" in turn we get the answer.

It's really no different than a person whose weight is so perfectly balanced due to their physical build that they support their own weight easily & often lift more than their own weight. Or the guy down the block who can actually hear when someone is using a dog whistle. Something somewhere is tuned to a better frequency for that sense. Just like being a little bit more tuned in to what people are feeling than the average joe.

It isn't easy. You do have to learn to build walls, how to block out people around you so all you really get is just a charge, like you could put your hand out there & touch someone & the current would go through you & you would read them but the control is yours. It isn't always perfect, all walls are only as strong as what you know. Trust me, I've had mine unexpectedly broken down on more than one occasion but each encounter teachers you how to better control & find a purpose for what you can do.

Some people heal.

Some people just listen.

Me, I consider myself a balance. If I'm standing in line & the guy behind me is radiating anger & frustration, I adjust my energy, calm my heart rate down, relax my body posture, focus my thoughts on being kind without reception & turn & smile at the guy. That one smile alone will project my current of energy coming off of me & most times the people respond in turn. They smile back, they visibly relax & we both go on with our day without another thought to one another.

So I give my energy away. It drains me a little, leaves me a bit tired, but I control how I wish to use it & 90% of the time people have no idea I'm doing it. No idea I can hear the muscle in their lower back tightening up long before they feel it. Or the pain in their calf that's really being caused by the knot at the base of their skull they have long since forgot about. Or when they are thinking of one thing but saying another & looking into my eyes & attempting to pass their false words off as something else.

If you are finding yourself being affected by emotions, thoughts & other things that just don't come from your core, that you know isn't you, then you need to figure out what works to keep you safe first & once you have that figured out, what it is you want to do with what you are experiencing second.

[John from Lowell]

3amfright,

What a nice description and explanation. I hope it helps those who have problems dealing with this skill.

I must say that I am impressed with the way that you have self empowered yourself.

John

[sarah_444]

3amfright, on 19 February 2012 - 05:13 AM, said:

Being an Empath is not above average, it's just one more sense heightened naturally compared to others. By definition I'm easily & often called an Empath. That's not how I see things though or care to label myself. If asked & I have to explain myself I simply say I'm sensitive.

Think of people as what they really are - controlled physical bone & tissues masses of energy. Everything we do comes out of us in an electrical current. Static electricity being the most obvious example. But on a deeper level our thoughts, our feelings, our physical ailments & so forth sit upon our skin like a current.

When a person is Empathic or Sensitive, we just read those energies better. It is different than the average because we don't just do it with family members or people we know, we feel things just as strongly with strangers at the mall as we do with grandma or our pet cat. It also comes to us (or should I just say me) differently. It's like....hearing someone say "I wish I could just say aloud I'm secretly unhappy with (insert unhappiness)" and us actually hearing it but as a disconnected feeling. Just like you know the minute you've made a wrong turn, something feels off, it's that same kind of feeling except when we ask "what is it?" in turn we get the answer.

It's really no different than a person whose weight is so perfectly balanced due to their physical build that they support their own weight easily & often lift more than their own weight. Or the guy down the block who can actually hear when someone is using a dog whistle. Something somewhere is tuned to a better frequency for that sense. Just like being a little bit more tuned in to what people are feeling than the average joe.

It isn't easy. You do have to learn to build walls, how to block out people around you so all you really get is just a charge, like you could put your hand out there & touch someone & the current would go through you & you would read them but the control is yours. It isn't always perfect, all walls are only as strong as what you know. Trust me, I've had mine unexpectedly broken down on more than one occasion but each encounter teachers you how to better control & find a purpose for what you can do.

Some people heal.

Some people just listen.

Me, I consider myself a balance. If I'm standing in line & the guy behind me is radiating anger & frustration, I adjust my energy, calm my heart rate down, relax my body posture, focus my thoughts on being kind without reception & turn & smile at the guy. That one smile alone will project my current of energy coming off of me & most times the people respond in turn. They smile back, they visibly relax & we both go on with our day without another thought to one another.

So I give my energy away. It drains me a little, leaves me a bit tired, but I control how I wish to use it & 90% of the time people have no idea I'm doing it. No idea I can hear the muscle in their lower back tightening up long before they feel it. Or the pain in their calf that's really being caused by the knot at the base of their skull they have long since forgot about. Or when they are thinking of one thing but saying another & looking into my eyes & attempting to pass their false words off as something else.

If you are finding yourself being affected by emotions, thoughts & other things that just don't come from your core, that you know isn't you, then you need to figure out what works to keep you safe first & once you have that figured out, what it is you want to do with what you are experiencing second.

Thank you so much for taking the time to share this, it's sometimes a struggle with me to keep myself balanced around certain people.  It definetly can take it's toll on you after awhile.

[3amfright]

John from Lowell, on 19 February 2012 - 12:01 PM, said:

3amfright,

What a nice description and explanation. I hope it helps those who have problems dealing with this skill.

I must say that I am impressed with the way that you have self empowered yourself.

John

Thank you,

though I never see it as self empowered. I have the skill to help others so I use it. Truth be told I don't really have a choice, lol. My body was already naturally adjusting its self to help other people, doing the balancing on its own. It just took me awhile to catch on & learn to control it better. There are definitely still times though where I mentally argue with my body on what it wants to do & what I mentally/emotionally ready to do.

[3amfright]

sarah_444, on 19 February 2012 - 01:33 PM, said:

Thank you so much for taking the time to share this, it's sometimes a struggle with me to keep myself balanced around certain people.  It definetly can take it's toll on you after awhile.

You are welcome & thank you. Yes, unfortunately it is a struggle & the toll at times is overwhelming.