Things have been strange this last year...

[The Dreamer - Hybrid89]

Ok ive been thinking this over for quite some time so im not just winging this by putting up a post in an aid for attention.

In march of Last year It was my new born nephew's christening, now I took it easy with the alcohol all day as family were around and I am the eldest and the only Male in the family. In the evening then I met a mate and we both went to the pub next door and had a few drinks, we had 6 pints of beer and 3 vodka and white lemonade. Which is nothing at all at would just about leave me tipsy, at the time. having drank heavily for years previous i have a very good Torrence to alcohol.

Anyway by the time we finished drinking those we went back next door to my family where we all proceeded back to my parents place. On the way back I picked up a bottle of some homemade alcohol in the range of 84%, the guy I got it off was a very old and trust worthy friend.

My cousin, my friend and myself started drinkn the strong alcohol in shots, we all had 2 shots each with 10-15mins between the first and 2nd one. I asked them did they want moe and they said no, which was fair because this stuff is lethal strong. So i drank another 5 or 6 shots of it not a lot more. My mother came over to me and asks me to stop drinkning it, which isa fair point. So i asked her does she have an whiskey as I am a big whiskey drinker, so she pulls out a fresh litre bottle of Jameson, I drank about half the bottle straight over a good period of time. Jameson and myself have a bad history, it never ever mixes well with me and I ended having a fit or a seizure, you know where the white frothy crap came out of my mouth at that stage I had kinda sat down on the couch. Having anger problems for years I had gone completely nuts and my dad had to calm me down, the ambulance arrived and I was able to walk out and I remember being in the ambulance vaguely.

Next I remember walking into A & E with my dad linking my arm, I was aware and able to walk of my own free will, although my dad held onto me anyway. I blacked out after this.

When I awoke the next day my dad had informed me of what had happened after I blacked out, I punched a doctor and started going on about ' want to kill msyelf' and all that stuff, which isnt liek me at all. Pure drink talk. I was told that my blood alcohol level was so High I shouldve been in a coma, or something and the fact I was conscious and walking had them scratching there heads. What my dad didnt tell me was that I nearly died that night because of the alcohol % I drank but I found out later from a family member.

Now this will sound weird but since then, ive felt slightly odd. Its been nearly a year since it all happened and im a changed person, I body build 3 days a week, im running fit and only drink casually once a week. I dont smoke and im on a good high fiber, high protein diet.

I feel like im not supposed to be here, you know, like I shouldve past away that night. Dont get me wrong im mentally stable and perfectly fine and all that but this over whelming feel I get strikes me as odd and annoying. Where as before it I was liek wired and hyper and also going mad, but now im practically mellow. My anger flared liek crazy after it though but that was probably the alcohol but my rigorous training keeps my anger under total control.

has anyone had a simlar experience and felt the same way. Im only curious.

Id appreciate no hate comments,not on this topic.

[pinupgirl]

Ok ive been thinking this over for quite some time so im not just winging this by putting up a post in an aid for attention.

In march of Last year It was my new born nephew's christening, now I took it easy with the alcohol all day as family were around and I am the eldest and the only Male in the family. In the evening then I met a mate and we both went to the pub next door and had a few drinks, we had 6 pints of beer and 3 vodka and white lemonade. Which is nothing at all at would just about leave me tipsy, at the time. having drank heavily for years previous i have a very good Torrence to alcohol.

Anyway by the time we finished drinking those we went back next door to my family where we all proceeded back to my parents place. On the way back I picked up a bottle of some homemade alcohol in the range of 84%, the guy I got it off was a very old and trust worthy friend.

My cousin, my friend and myself started drinkn the strong alcohol in shots, we all had 2 shots each with 10-15mins between the first and 2nd one. I asked them did they want moe and they said no, which was fair because this stuff is lethal strong. So i drank another 5 or 6 shots of it not a lot more. My mother came over to me and asks me to stop drinkning it, which isa fair point. So i asked her does she have an whiskey as I am a big whiskey drinker, so she pulls out a fresh litre bottle of Jameson, I drank about half the bottle straight over a good period of time. Jameson and myself have a bad history, it never ever mixes well with me and I ended having a fit or a seizure, you know where the white frothy crap came out of my mouth at that stage I had kinda sat down on the couch. Having anger problems for years I had gone completely nuts and my dad had to calm me down, the ambulance arrived and I was able to walk out and I remember being in the ambulance vaguely.

Next I remember walking into A & E with my dad linking my arm, I was aware and able to walk of my own free will, although my dad held onto me anyway. I blacked out after this.

When I awoke the next day my dad had informed me of what had happened after I blacked out, I punched a doctor and started going on about ' want to kill msyelf' and all that stuff, which isnt liek me at all. Pure drink talk. I was told that my blood alcohol level was so High I shouldve been in a coma, or something and the fact I was conscious and walking had them scratching there heads. What my dad didnt tell me was that I nearly died that night because of the alcohol % I drank but I found out later from a family member.

Now this will sound weird but since then, ive felt slightly odd. Its been nearly a year since it all happened and im a changed person, I body build 3 days a week, im running fit and only drink casually once a week. I dont smoke and im on a good high fiber, high protein diet.

I feel like im not supposed to be here, you know, like I shouldve past away that night. Dont get me wrong im mentally stable and perfectly fine and all that but this over whelming feel I get strikes me as odd and annoying. Where as before it I was liek wired and hyper and also going mad, but now im practically mellow. My anger flared liek crazy after it though but that was probably the alcohol but my rigorous training keeps my anger under total control.

has anyone had a simlar experience and felt the same way. Im only curious.

Id appreciate no hate comments,not on this topic.

I have felt like i'm not cut out for this life,..but if you were not meant to still be here,..you wouldn't be...Sounds like you have made some very positive life altering changes and you should be proud of that!! Not an easy thing to accomplish!!

[Grey14]

Sounds to me like you might have hit bottom so to speak and something inside you didnt like it. It sounds like that night was a night you could have easily died from alchol poisoning. Luckily the experience seems to have changed you in a good way and for that I appluad you. Look at it as a personal turning point and always be vigilant about it so that you do not fall back into that lifestyle unless of course that is your wish but it sounds to me that you may be happier with your life now.

Again congrats on the turn around.

[White Crane Feather]

Ok ive been thinking this over for quite some time so im not just winging this by putting up a post in an aid for attention.

In march of Last year It was my new born nephew's christening, now I took it easy with the alcohol all day as family were around and I am the eldest and the only Male in the family. In the evening then I met a mate and we both went to the pub next door and had a few drinks, we had 6 pints of beer and 3 vodka and white lemonade. Which is nothing at all at would just about leave me tipsy, at the time. having drank heavily for years previous i have a very good Torrence to alcohol.

Anyway by the time we finished drinking those we went back next door to my family where we all proceeded back to my parents place. On the way back I picked up a bottle of some homemade alcohol in the range of 84%, the guy I got it off was a very old and trust worthy friend.

My cousin, my friend and myself started drinkn the strong alcohol in shots, we all had 2 shots each with 10-15mins between the first and 2nd one. I asked them did they want moe and they said no, which was fair because this stuff is lethal strong. So i drank another 5 or 6 shots of it not a lot more. My mother came over to me and asks me to stop drinkning it, which isa fair point. So i asked her does she have an whiskey as I am a big whiskey drinker, so she pulls out a fresh litre bottle of Jameson, I drank about half the bottle straight over a good period of time. Jameson and myself have a bad history, it never ever mixes well with me and I ended having a fit or a seizure, you know where the white frothy crap came out of my mouth at that stage I had kinda sat down on the couch. Having anger problems for years I had gone completely nuts and my dad had to calm me down, the ambulance arrived and I was able to walk out and I remember being in the ambulance vaguely.

Next I remember walking into A & E with my dad linking my arm, I was aware and able to walk of my own free will, although my dad held onto me anyway. I blacked out after this.

When I awoke the next day my dad had informed me of what had happened after I blacked out, I punched a doctor and started going on about ' want to kill msyelf' and all that stuff, which isnt liek me at all. Pure drink talk. I was told that my blood alcohol level was so High I shouldve been in a coma, or something and the fact I was conscious and walking had them scratching there heads. What my dad didnt tell me was that I nearly died that night because of the alcohol % I drank but I found out later from a family member.

Now this will sound weird but since then, ive felt slightly odd. Its been nearly a year since it all happened and im a changed person, I body build 3 days a week, im running fit and only drink casually once a week. I dont smoke and im on a good high fiber, high protein diet.

I feel like im not supposed to be here, you know, like I shouldve past away that night. Dont get me wrong im mentally stable and perfectly fine and all that but this over whelming feel I get strikes me as odd and annoying. Where as before it I was liek wired and hyper and also going mad, but now im practically mellow. My anger flared liek crazy after it though but that was probably the alcohol but my rigorous training keeps my anger under total control.

has anyone had a simlar experience and felt the same way. Im only curious.

Id appreciate no hate comments,not on this topic.

It's called rock bottom. After people find what they are looking for is not in a bottle, they grow past it. Good job.

[The Dreamer - Hybrid89]

I have felt like i'm not cut out for this life,..but if you were not meant to still be here,..you wouldn't be...Sounds like you have made some very positive life altering changes and you should be proud of that!! Not an easy thing to accomplish!!

Why thank you. Well no its not easy, i can still feel the addiction to alcohol. Its like being punched in the arm. I managed to stay off it all week and have maybea bottle of wine then at the weekend so i control it. As for not smoking, ahh that dont bother me at all.

Sounds to me like you might have hit bottom so to speak and something inside you didnt like it. It sounds like that night was a night you could have easily died from alchol poisoning. Luckily the experience seems to have changed you in a good way and for that I appluad you. Look at it as a personal turning point and always be vigilant about it so that you do not fall back into that lifestyle unless of course that is your wish but it sounds to me that you may be happier with your life now.

Again congrats on the turn around.

Well il openly admit I was always the skinny guy you know, and ive always hated myself, for some reason, since i started body building and wiot hthe way i chose to change, im happy with who I am and it took me a very long time to get where i am. That being said, pity ireland is up in heap, wouldnt mind a job lol. Im a lot happier yes, I mean who wouldnt be. Il never go back to that state again, not a hope. Think of it this way, im turning 23 now in june and it'll be soon time to be settling down and no female wants to be with an alcoholic.

It's called rock bottom. After people find what they are looking for is not in a bottle, they grow past it. Good job.

well i dunno about that ive been at rock bottom for the last few years really, its only in the last 6 weeks that ive gotton happier you know.

Genuinely though there are times when I do feel like im at odds with the world. Something tells me, its all apart of life!

[White Crane Feather]

Why thank you. Well no its not easy, i can still feel the addiction to alcohol. Its like being punched in the arm. I managed to stay off it all week and have maybea bottle of wine then at the weekend so i control it. As for not smoking, ahh that dont bother me at all.

Well il openly admit I was always the skinny guy you know, and ive always hated myself, for some reason, since i started body building and wiot hthe way i chose to change, im happy with who I am and it took me a very long time to get where i am. That being said, pity ireland is up in heap, wouldnt mind a job lol. Im a lot happier yes, I mean who wouldnt be. Il never go back to that state again, not a hope. Think of it this way, im turning 23 now in june and it'll be soon time to be settling down and no female wants to be with an alcoholic.

well i dunno about that ive been at rock bottom for the last few years really, its only in the last 6 weeks that ive gotton happier you know.

Genuinely though there are times when I do feel like im at odds with the world. Something tells me, its all apart of life!

I'm glad you are feeling better. Six weeks you say? That is awesome. So what are your plans for the future. It seems like you have gotton some of your depression under control with exercise. What's next?

[Emma_Acid]

The same thing happened to my dad, and after 30 years of drugs and hard drinking, gave it up almost overnight after a near death experience. He's a very changed person now (although not as changed as you).

It does happen though, and its a positive thing and should be celebrated when it does. Something must have switched inside you and made you realise that isn't the person you want to me any more.

[Cassea]

NDE are lifechanging. God intervenes and finds a way to reach you. There is a reason you are here. I know that confusion. I had a bad accident and for a long time. Struggled with survivors guilt. I like the others am very happy for you. God bless you.

[The Dreamer - Hybrid89]

I'm glad you are feeling better. Six weeks you say? That is awesome. So what are your plans for the future. It seems like you have gotton some of your depression under control with exercise. What's next?

Ya ive gotten most of it, its still kinda there but its all manageable. Whats next?

Well ive re-applied for the Royal Irish Army again ,I should technically pass them edical this time i even told them id make the tripup the north and do any battery of tests to prove that im fit.

If that falls through I guess try to get some form of job and head out foreign to a nice country,im thinking canada or USA, havnt really looked into anything yet. Other then that im going with the flow.

The same thing happened to my dad, and after 30 years of drugs and hard drinking, gave it up almost overnight after a near death experience. He's a very changed person now (although not as changed as you).

It does happen though, and its a positive thing and should be celebrated when it does. Something must have switched inside you and made you realise that isn't the person you want to me any more.

Changing something drastic about you is hard. The cigarettes dont even bother me at all. When i get stressed my old addiction to alcohol kicks in BIG time. Again I just push it aside. Alcohol addicition really is a nightmare. So this weekend im going to be stubborn as a mule and go out with the lads and not drink. which should be fun lol

NDE are lifechanging. God intervenes and finds a way to reach you. There is a reason you are here. I know that confusion. I had a bad accident and for a long time. Struggled with survivors guilt. I like the others am very happy for you. God bless you.

To put it logcially, the amount of alcohol I ingested would kill a normal person, so the way I see it, Ive one heck of a guardian angel or a fairy godfather. I know I shouldnt have survived that night I shouldnt have but I did, so lets see what good old 'Life' has in store.

Edited February 22, 2012 by Hybrid89

[White Crane Feather]

Ya ive gotten most of it, its still kinda there but its all manageable. Whats next?

Well ive re-applied for the Royal Irish Army again ,I should technically pass them edical this time i even told them id make the tripup the north and do any battery of tests to prove that im fit.

If that falls through I guess try to get some form of job and head out foreign to a nice country,im thinking canada or USA, havnt really looked into anything yet. Other then that im going with the flow.

Changing something drastic about you is hard. The cigarettes dont even bother me at all. When i get stressed my old addiction to alcohol kicks in BIG time. Again I just push it aside. Alcohol addicition really is a nightmare. So this weekend im going to be stubborn as a mule and go out with the lads and not drink. which should be fun lol

To put it logcially, the amount of alcohol I ingested would kill a normal person, so the way I see it, Ive one heck of a guardian angel or a fairy godfather. I know I shouldnt have survived that night I shouldnt have but I did, so lets see what good old 'Life' has in store.

Well I'm going to go out on a limb here ( lightning bolts from mods), but there is a number of herbal things you can do to help you with all that. You should research ( and talk to a doctor). You can ease withdrawal symptoms, manage anxiety and depression. Lots of things.

Being stressed then resorting to alcohol is self medicating anyway, might aswell find healthyer and safer wAys to manage it. And trust me. There are.

[The Dreamer - Hybrid89]

Well I'm going to go out on a limb here ( lightning bolts from mods), but there is a number of herbal things you can do to help you with all that. You should research ( and talk to a doctor). You can ease withdrawal symptoms, manage anxiety and depression. Lots of things.

Being stressed then resorting to alcohol is self medicating anyway, might aswell find healthyer and safer wAys to manage it. And trust me. There are.

Oh I ventilate my stress in my weight training. As for for my bouts of depression,..well I can be incredibly stubborn so I use that to my advantage. Plus I was out last night and christ above im sick today lol haha

[White Crane Feather]

Oh I ventilate my stress in my weight training. As for for my bouts of depression,..well I can be incredibly stubborn so I use that to my advantage. Plus I was out last night and christ above im sick today lol haha

Depression is a nural chemical problem. Working out can increase your seritonin, but what you really want to do is create an average increase in your seritonin all the time. This is what antidepressants do. Overtime seritonin builds in your system and you feel better and don't "self medicate" so much.

A few simple herbs that partially blocks an enzym that processes seritonin in your system. You should look it up. While you are drinking you are also destroying your liver. There is another simple herb that will help you repair that damage.

[jessicajaletta]

I will not agree with the fact that you're suppose to be dead, if you were suppose to be dead than you would be dead.

However, I will agree with what others have said, you hit rock bottom and realize that if you didn't change your life style that you were gonna end up dead. I applaud you for turning your life around, it takes a lot of courage to do. I know people who have cheat death multiple times but, still do the same things that they did that lead them to the ICU for alcohol poisoning.

[Imaginarynumber1]

. I know people who have cheat death multiple times but, still do the same things that they did that lead them to the ICU for alcohol poisoning.

Have we met before?

[barbco196]

I agree with Jessica. If you were supposed to die that night, you would have. Try your hardest to believe that. I think you had a connection with the Divine. Your life will never be the same.

[Nnicolette]

All of the people i know who died and came back still had important things to do here. They all became parents among other things. I also died n came back into my body it was a matter of determination. I was screaming im not going out like that but with no voice and clung on. You just weren't done here and must have realised you still have a path to take.