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Moe's big adventure


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#16    magic charm

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Posted 24 September 2004 - 09:25 AM

moe, that was brill, liked it very much, can't wait for more grin2.gif  thumbsup.gif

if today is the day what is tomorrow!!!!
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#17    aliens_exist_luzerpunk182

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Posted 27 September 2004 - 12:04 AM

great story moe!hehe


#18    moe eubleck

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Posted 21 October 2004 - 07:35 PM

We thank you for your patience, friends of Moeness. Part 2 will be fourthing coming and we shall post it this weekend.  This is Moe's promise to you all.
Now go and be jazzed , love crumpets.

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Moe's Big Adventure
" Behavior is a function of its consequences, invoked by the antecedant conditions"

#19    snuffypuffer

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Posted 21 October 2004 - 08:24 PM

We do verily look forward to this. grin2.gif

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#20    moe eubleck

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Posted 23 October 2004 - 03:19 AM

As promised, here is part 2.
Two very important things happen in this chapter. It sets the tone of this anti - fantasy. So hop aboard the Moe train, cats and dig this groovy jazz.


* * * * * * * * *  *  * * * * * *

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illustration by snuffypuffer


Part 2


Zanth's little problem


".... wah ?  no.... no..! I shall not wear such things around my neck !.. no! You like it , you wear it....."

  The muffled tones roused Zanth from his afternoon nap. Sighing  wearily, the pocket dragon  opened his eyes to see what Moe was babbling about.

"...  its not wholesome. keep it away from me... Im telling you . What ? No, n- no.!"

  Zanth raised himself from an ivory pedestal . He gazed  wearily about the ruined fort around him, tyring to locate his babbling companion.There were many crumbling halls of cracked stone archways. The midday sun shown brightly through this roof less skeleton, revealing a cloud masked sky.
  Indeed,  once a great and jazzy fortress did stand here. But time is the cruelest on all things beautiful. This was no exception. For the  once great  watch towers  on each corner of the square keep , had fallen into piles of rubble decades ago.  
   The ruin  did make for a swell resting point though, and this is why the pair had agreed to do such a thing .. The walls though cracked, still provided ample shade for any weary traveller to rest comfortably under. Also was the issue of cover. For wyverns hunted these plains. Many a travelers tale had been told about such sweeping death from the skies.
  But time and death was not on the mind of little Zanth on that day.It was his concern for the tall , clumsy human, he called his friend. For  Moe's babbling continued endlessly as he peered around crumbling halls., ascended dusty stone staircases and disturbed many a critter of places dark. It  truly sounded as if Moe was arguing with someone . This concerned Zanth greatly, for he had secured the camp prior to his nap. The patrol had revealed no other presence so the pocket dragon has slept soundly. Zanth was beginning to question his methods of security until such a time as he discovered Moe's whereabouts.
  Indeed, for when Zanth finally spotted Moe, he was no longer on the path of a wanderer but that of a wonderer. It was incredulous wonder. The type of wonderment that makes ones  jaw drop and eyes gape The type of wonder that makes one desire a good stiff ale.. For sitting before a ruined alter was a Moe eubleck .  Indeed, Moe was deep in conversation. Zanth had no doubt about this.  Tis true. One at first glance may well have assumed such a thing. But upon closer inspection, one would soon come to realize that Moe was the only one in the room.

" well.. I dunno. " Moe continued, unaware that Zanth was watching. " Maybe I can sell it or something . Ya think ? Ok then. Maybe it will feed us when we reach town... no... no you are right I am sorry, ."

   Zanth slowly backed away with a disturbed brow. He had witnessed such strangeness before from Moe. But never had he seen Moe speaking to a brick wall as if it were an old friend. He had discovered denial to be the best way to deal with such things . unfortunately while making  his retreat, Zanth accidently kicked a small pebble and at this Moe did stop. He smiled warmly at the pocket dragon, then gave a  mocking salute.
   " Hello Zanth, " he greeted. " Did you enjoy your nap?"

Zanth nodded and smiled quickly.

  " Good. You looked tired and.... what ? " Moe turned to the crumbled wall on his left and began speaking to it again.." Really, now Bobb. This is no way to talk about an old friend ...."

" wha.. ?" Zanth stammered. "  Who ... ?? "

" No Bobb. " Moe continued. " That was rude. You must apologize ."

  Zanth shook his head, rubbed his temples."Moe may I have a word with you ?" he grabbed by his tunic collar. " Not to waste any of your precious time, but to whom or what are you  speaking ?? I have yet to succeed in identifying anyone capable of holding a coversation with you. Considering I have just entered, and you have been babbling for quite some time now. It is my conclusion Moe, that you are either completely insane, or this is a very bizarre dream in which I hope to wake from very soon." Zanth blinked, noticing something new "  Unless of course, you are speaking to the dead rat that you are sitting upon."

  Moe looked down , noticing a tail protruding form his right buttock.  Moe was very concerned about this. So he stood and cradled the fallen rodent in both hands. He felt very unjazzed  " Aww poor little fellow." he stroked the rats flattened hide. "I hope i didn't hurt the little thing ." Moe sighed . "You would think that it would have atleast squeaked. If a large  butt was about to sit on my head, I know I would squeak with much might .."

  Zanth snorted " It probably did squeak ,Moe. But you were too busy talking to that wall over there."

  Moe a made a few loud squeaks, then suddenly  looked at where Zanth had pointed. He made a face. " Now Bobb ! That is no way to talk to an old friend. " He glared at the wall in a most unwholesome manner, twirling the dead rat by its tail.

  " Excuse me ?" Zanth was bewildered. " The last time I checked, my name was not Bobb. "

" oh sorry". Moe laughed, thinking that Zanth was joking. " Centonbobb Michabo. " He nodded . then smiled expectantly.
    
"wha..? " Indeed. Zanth was well accustomed to Moe's random phrases. Such was the way of  the Moe. But they were usually spoken in a recognizable dialect. This was no exception.  Zanth was convinced that Moe had finally cracked.
  
" Centonbobb Michabo. Centonbobb Michabo. " Moe repeated.." Bobb is his new nickname. He likes when I call him Bobb. It is a jazzy name is it not ? "

Zanth stared at Moe without speaking.

"Zanth . Are you alright ?" he placed a concerned hand upon Zanth's scaled shoulder. " Im worried about you Zanth.. You look like I just shot bugs from my nostrils." Moe turned to the east wall. " Well... yes. Sorta . HAHAHA. That funny Bobb.!! " he smiled at the pocket dragon." hey Zanth."

Zanth did not respond.

" Hey Zanth !" Moe shook him. " Guess what Bobb just told me ! Zanth  ? You need to hear this one..."

" MOE.. " Zanth shouted, startling the warrior.. " Bobb ? Bobb? You are naming walls now ? Whats next, Moe ? Old granny Joan will rise rom the grave and bake you cookies ? "
  
Moe looked hurt and somehow, this made Zanth feel as if he had just kicked a dog. "  I don't see how Granny Joan has anything to do with cookies. She baked ham. And it was green and .... "

Zanth silenced him with a finger. " Now lets just be reasonable about this "Bobb' situation. " he cleared his throat. " Am I correct in assuming that Bobb is that wall. " He gestured to the east wall.

Moe laughed, pointed west. " No hes over there now. "

Zanth sighed. " What I was asking Moe, was wether Bobb is a wall or not . "

Moe's brow came together. " A wall ? don't be silly . Why are you being like this , Zanth?Centonbobb Michabo ? " he gestured to the space in front of him. ". Ya know. Big white rabbit ? Jazzy top hat ? Hes been with us for years. You telling me you never noticed him before ?  How anybody can miss someone like Bobb, is beyond me"

Zanth blinked.

" Anyway" Moe removed something from his pocket and held it before Zanth. It was a trinket of some sort. A crude lead carving of what appeared to be a talon. Within the talon's grasp, rested a small crystal. " When the light hits it just right .." Moe held it under the roofless sky. As the sun peaked from behind dark clouds, the crystal caught the pale rays projecting rainbow hued shafts upon the age old dust. Bot Moe and Zanth were momentarily transfixed " Yeah . Isn't it pretty ? "

Zanth was forced to agree.

" Anwyay, Bobb thinks I should sell it for food. when we get to town.." Moe closed his hand over the trinket, plunging them into momentary darkness. . " What do you think Zanth ? Treasure or tinker ? "

" well moe," Zanth conceded. " Who am I to argue with a big white rabbit in a top hat.? " He patted Moe on the shoulder. Then Zanth . leapt high . With leathery wings flapping, he was soon speeding towards the light.


2004 - Kevin Baker

Edited by moe eubleck, 03 April 2005 - 05:41 PM.

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Moe's Big Adventure
" Behavior is a function of its consequences, invoked by the antecedant conditions"

#21    snuffypuffer

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Posted 23 October 2004 - 03:43 AM

Moe has an imaginary friend.  Or is he imaginary?  I dig the nutty buddiness. thumbsup.gif

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#22    Daughter of the Nine Moons

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Posted 23 October 2004 - 03:58 PM

Brilliant as always Moe grin2.gif

One does not simply walk into Mordor.

#23    The Cheat

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Posted 23 October 2004 - 09:37 PM

moe that was wonderful.... keep it coming!!

QUOTE
"If a large butt was about to sit on my head, i know i would squeak with much might"
that is quote of the day right there.  lol

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#24    doomgirl

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Posted 24 October 2004 - 06:00 AM

great story Moe, I had missed reading your writing from when we were just kids in the UM sandbox

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#25    Lottie

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Posted 24 October 2004 - 02:39 PM

Hurrah! Finally the next installment! Its fabulous Moe!!! You know what I think you should be doing with this... original.gif


#26    moe eubleck

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Posted 29 October 2004 - 06:55 PM

we now bring you the next installment as seen thru the eyes of Moe and told in our usual 3rd person posting antic. This will happen every few chapters to keep things from becoming cliche.


We thank snuffy for our inspiration.

---------------------------

We woke up cold this morning. It was not wholesome. Zanth did not like the idea of making a fire before bed.  He does not want to attract the attention of the bad people. They are numerous and ride wyverns. This is not beneficial to our warmth. Zanth does not understand.
  Moe does not have warm fuzzy fur like Centonnbobb. Nor do we have inner dragon heat to jazz us .  So we sit and shiver and rub our hands together. We huddle deep into our cloak and breath steam out
.We used to think it was smoke. Young Moe ran thru damp grass and fog, pretending to be a dragon. But now that we are freinds with a dragon, we know that this was only a myth. This makes Moe feel wise and jazzy. Moe likes feeling wise and jazzy.
  Zanth snores next to us. He sounds like an angry yak. But Moe never tells him this .Zanth already feels like a small thing, in a big cruel world. No need to add to his misery. No need to thank us Zanth. No.
  Centonbobb was gone when we woke up. Moe does not know where he went. We think that maybe he went hunting for breakfast. This would be wholesome, for our tummy growls most loudly. Not as loud as angry yaks . Maybe mating cows.
  We laugh out loud at this thought. Ooops. This woke up Zanth. He sits up with a start. He is glaring at Moe.

We smile and say sorry .

"Dammit Moe," Zanth is grumpy. Good old Zanth. " Bad enough you kept me awake all night with your laughing "

We do not unsderstand. Moe does not remember laughing last night.

." Well you did. You laughed in your sleep" Zanth stretches his jazzy black wing.. We wish we had wings ." Kept me awake all night with that ruckuss. And now that ive finnally fallen asleep, you start up again ? "

  We smile and say sorry again. But Moe is thirsty now. We walk to our little red wagon to fetch a drink of water. We like our little red wagon. It sure was nice of CentonnBobb to lend it to us. Ever since we spilled our backpack , we have had much luck. We found a pretty necklace and Bob, a wagon. They are both jazzy and wholesome, and we are a better Moe for them. We reach into the pile , removing our water skin. We take a drink, but nothing comes out. This is not wholesome.
We look at Zanth for an explanation but he is still grumbling at us. We shake the waterskin with our ear against it, but hear no spashing sounds. Moe doesnt understand this. Where is our water ? We throw the bottle on the ground and stomp it with our foot. It is like stomping a rock.
  Now we know what happened to our water. It is frozen. We smile and tell Zanth. Moe did not know it was quite so cold this morning.

"Serves you right ". Zanth says in a mean voice. " Call it justice for keeping me awake all night. "

  Suddenly, we feel a warm hand on our shoulder. We turn and see Centonnbobb smiling at us. He hands us some dead birds. Moe likes dead birds. They will make a swell breakfast.

Zanth raises his left eyebrow. He does this when he is suprised. " You caught breakfast ? "

We tell him that Bob killed these birds with his bow and arrow and that there is no need to thank him.

Zanth snorts . " I dont want to hear about Bob this morning. But I am grateful that you thought ahead for once. I am famished, Moe ."

  Then Moe cooked a wholesome meal. Moe likes to cook.  He does it well. We are jazzed this morning.  We pluck the feathers then remove the guts. Then Moe puts it in a boiling pot. In goes some carrots. In goes some garlic for flavor. We sitr it slowly and sing a merry tune.  Moe likes to cook. It is joyful.

   After breakfast we start heading north again. Zanth walkes beside us now . He has been much nicer since breakfast .But our bunny buddy Bob is nowhere to be seen. This is all and well since he and Zanth have not been getting along lately.We do not undertsand why. But we can only do so much before we need to let things be.
We think that Bob has taken front again. This is wise of Bob. If he sees trouble he can come back and warn us . Then maybe we can attack them first and take thier gold. Moe likes gold. It is joyous. We will use our mace and smite them. For Moe is mighty . No need to thank us . No.
  Walk walk walk Herds of yaks everywhere. Weasles run between our legs.Not the ones that squeak but the one who stop and sneer at Moe. We groove to this , then walk walk walk some more. Morning sun rises into the afternoon sky. More yak herds. Moe sneering weasles. We wonde if this is where smiling came from. Or maybe it came from squinting alot. We ponder this while we walk some more. It used to hurt our feet, this walking. But not anymore. Moe has grown mighty from this.
  We do this muchly. Why you ask ? Moe will tell you.  No need to tahnk us either. It is because we have no home yet. Moe and Zanth just want a quiet place to live. Someplace with a warm stove and lots of potted flowers. We like things that grow. Indeed we do. But things always happen. Bad things. Bad people who ride wyvers attack our towns. Moe thinks that the bad people are after wolrd domination. This is not wholesome. We want to fight them. To stop them from breaking our houses. But they are too many. For Zanth, Moe and Bob, are but three. They will smite us for sure. The bad people have many legions.Many legions indeed.
  So we keep moving to new towns and villages.. We that hope someday the bad people will stop burning our homes down. It is not wholesome nor joyful .But we are a better Moe for it. This  is how we learned to smite bad people with our mace. This is how we learned to unt. This how we met our dear friends, Bob and Zanth. For they were on the run as well.

   Arrggh, more sneering weasles.
  
  We have our hearts set on a trading town called Enba. It is only a few more days north. When we get there, Moe will trade this pretty necklace for gold. Maybe it will buy us another house.It will be nice to have a house again. Even for just a small while. This is what Bob told us. Bob is very smart and never wrong about such thngs. He is a groovy pooka indeed.
   We travel like this for the next few days. It is a blur. We look back and see winding trails in the grass. It looks like a really really long snake is following us. The snake slithers over rocks. It goes into swell volleys of trees to camp for the night. No fire tho. We dont want the bad people to see us. After much slithering, the snake finnaly beholds the town gates of Enba. It is heavily fortified with many an armed fighter behind battlements They stand behind large sheilds, ever vigilant with thier spears,. They know what appraoches. It draws closer everyday. But these walls are made of wood. The fools.They will be smitten by the bad people someday. And thier flimsy wooden walls will burn indeed. Moe can see it in thier eyes. Yes. They know  what approaches.
    A pair of sentrys bar our way with crossed halberds. "State your bussines here ." one tells us.

Since most people in the north have never seen a dragon before, they stare at Zanth in shock. Dragons do not usually wonder so far from home. Especailly of the dwarven variety. So Moe steps forward to assure them that we are just passing though.
     They permit us entry, and Moe is taken back by such prosperity. Indeed, Enba is not so much a large town, but a small city. We are jazzed by the cobblestone streets. We smile at the  groovy stautes that mark the town center. The streets are lined with shops and we stare lovingly at many a passing goddess. Indeed. This day shall be wholesome. No need to thank us. No.

© 2004 Kevin Baker

Edited by moe eubleck, 29 October 2004 - 06:55 PM.

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" Behavior is a function of its consequences, invoked by the antecedant conditions"

#27    snuffypuffer

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Posted 29 October 2004 - 07:06 PM

dude, that was brilliant. thumbsup.gif

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#28    Daughter of the Nine Moons

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Posted 31 October 2004 - 02:41 AM

Yay! Moe this was very groovy! I liked part 3 a lot better than part 2 grin2.gif

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#29    zudo

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Posted 31 October 2004 - 05:08 AM

This stuff is amazing. I would buy a copy of a book with this in it. It is diffrent then other stories, and has no main plot, but very interesting indeed. Lovely! w00t.gif

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#30    Great Big Sea

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Posted 23 November 2004 - 03:06 AM

Fun! Now I wish I could write fanfics as well as you Moe! original.gif

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