HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT
He does not have a BEER GUT; he has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE
He is not a BAD DANCER; he is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.
He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME; he INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE
He is not BALDING; he is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.
He is not a CRADLE ROBBER; he prefers GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL
He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK; he becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.
He does not act like a TOTAL ASS; he develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL
He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG; he has SWINE EMPATHY.
He is not afraid of COMMITMENT; he is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED.He is not QUIET; he is a CONVERSATIONAL MINIMALIST.
He is not STUPID; he suffers from MINIMAL CRANIAL DEVELOPMENT.
He is not SHORT; he is ANATOMICALLY COMPACT.
He does not CONSTANTLY TALK ABOUT CARS; he has a VEHICULAR ADDICTION.
He is not UNSOPHISTICATED; he is SOCIALLY MALFORMED.
He does not EAT LIKE A PIG; he suffers from REVERSE BULIMIA.
He does not HOG THE BLANKETS; he is THERMALLY UNAPPRECIATIVE.
He doesn't have a DIRTY MIND; he has INTROSPECTIVE PORNOGRAPHIC MOMENTS
...to be fair this is being correct about women
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK"
She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."
2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER"
She is "VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE."
3. She is not "EASY"
She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."
4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE"
She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."
5. She has not "BEEN AROUND"
She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."
6. She is not an "AIRHEAD"
She is "REALITY IMPAIRED."
7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY"
She gets "CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED."
8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS"
She is "MEDICALLY ENHANCED."
9. She does not "NAG" you
She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."
10. She is not a "TRAMP"
She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED."
11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS"
She is "PECTORALLY SUPERIOR."
12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER"
She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."
Edited by Robbie333, 16 March 2012 - 09:15 PM.