I follow a biblical christian approach to life by choice. My wife folows one by faith.
Heres waht my bible tels me my life with my wife should be like.
First love her as you love yourself. (And thus treat her as you would want be treated)
As i want to be treated with respect, care, love, responsibility and dignity, I treat my wife like this too.
Second. It says, "cleave unto her and take no thers." Ive done that since i met her 40 years ago. And she would not ebven think about doing otherwise . What is more, ive done it in my heart and mind as well as with my body .
Third it tells me to protect her and to provide for her. Ive always done that. It tells me to respect and accomodate her strengths and weaknesses. It alos tells me that two people pulling in tandem can plow a straighter line and achieve more than those "unequally yoked."
And so we have a cooperative partnership utilising our strenghts, and minimising our weaknesses. Te bible recognises the need of women for a home for children and for a way to express the intrisic nature of femininity, just a sit does for the differnt bilogicla nature of men. And so our home is my wifes domain She chose not to work after marriage so that an unmarried woman could have her job and income.
Instead she creates a haven ofgreat beauty rest and comfort for me to come to it is neat spotless and welcoming with flowers on the table every day . I do all the cooking because to be hones tI am better at it than she is. I was brought up cooking by my mother and grandmather, while my wife ran free in her farm paddocks and was a little tomboy. But if i was in charge of the house or the budget, both would soon be in a mess.
I can no more conceive of hurting my wife than hurting myself (and i would never hurt myself) I could never coerce or otherwise force her to do anything (including having sex with me.) The bible is clear about relationships betwen people and betwen husband and wife You dont compel another human being, either overtly or covertly, without exceptionally good reasons to do so (eg to protect them)
Perhaps as a consequence of the way we live, we have been happily married for 36 years. As i observe my religious and atheist friends and relatives I notice some correlations, but its not all about religious beliefs per se. Its about more basic ethics and moralities which are expressed in the bible, but also found elsewhere. Our value as a human being, our rights and responsibilities, what form our relationships takes (dependent authoritarian democratic or other)
Divorce and separation is almost non existent in our families, going back hundreds of years. I suspect that this is because certain ideas about; behaviour, rights, resposnibilities, and respect but particularly about the nature and power of love, have been passed down and across, to suceeding generations of people.
My father taught me, explicitly and implicitly in his own relationships with them, how to love a woman and how to treat her . I have no problem "marrying", biblical precepts, his example, and common sense, to create the relationship in our marriage.i tis interesting The bible says a wife should obey her husband ( and there were good reasons for that in those times, but it also makes clear tha ta huasband CANNOT simply command a wife to do something wrong, harmful, unloving, etc without breaking the other more basic and underlying rules of relationship set by god.
Society got this wrong for a long while. But i have always understood i can not have sex with my wife (for example) without her willing consent, under the terms and conditions of the bible.
The problem is that many christian men (along with many non christian ones) do not attempt to meet these basic conditions of marriage, about love, protection, care etc. And too many women have been socialised into a lack of respect for themselves, which makes them easy prey, (in marriage and out of it) for men.
Even if i wanted to command my wife to do something she felt wrong, she is a strong and independent woman who would say No. Submissiveness does not extend to allowing youe husband to coerce you to do what is wrong. Her faith and religion builds on an already formidable strength of character, and liberates her from such bondage.
Edited by Mr Walker, 07 April 2012 - 05:46 AM.
You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world..
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.