Posted 29 April 2012 - 08:24 PM
There may be purposes you have not yet figured out. Maybe no one or very few people have figured out the purposes that make you feel like you can die smiling and with a light heart for them, but you'll still avoid death and keep devoting part of your life to them. In life it's okay to be selfish and think with your feelings too, even if what you think is a matter of lives and deaths.
I've come to realise that there's much potential in us. We use it in narrow areas, devoting our lives to a single area of interest and wonder why we feel like something's missing.
Even if there's no quarantee that any life form in earth sees the next day, does that have to stop you? I think we have enough time in our lives to stop and think these things, watching the roof from our bed or watching the stars outside, or whatever. I dont mind living a boring life if there's moments that make my eyes glow madly, heart burn, thought race, mental images revel and the appreciation of little sensual delights. There's different things for each of our tastes, I know people twice my age (I'm almost 30) who discover new things where they can feel these things. If you dont ever feel alive, what's the point in any of it?
I dont worry about others nor myself. Worrying is overrated, so is helping. Unconditional support, hand given once... not so.
Human beings develop all the time, just like anything else in this universe. We as individuals develop all the time, on many levels. Or at least have the potential if we do something to develop. You should challenge yourself more in emotional and other areas than logic if you feel that way about life, and find grander meanings in those other than just logical areas, about life. Grand for you doesn't have to mean complicated or big, as long as it's grand for You. I'm sure everyone wonders at times why people are so stupid to keep the status quo in this kind of world, I've done that at least. But it takes more than a million-man collective to change things in this world. Still, every change comes from within.
I dont think we're here for any pre-determined purpose, but to see what the next moment brings. Only those who can truly see the future can give you a map about it and put a purpose, large "X" on that map. When I remember my past, the most enjoyable times where those when I put my inner self on the line for other people and for myself too, and didn't hide from the feeling of uncertainty. If you have that feeling it just means you're capable of developing.
Doug, about your sign. Being able to live without something, being able to live without the "I must have this" is one thing I believe we should strive for. It's really not so easy for everyone. But living that way doesn't have to mean you couldn't enjoy the moment. Two people can do the same thing all their life in order to meet the same dream come true, but the difference between them is that one who can let go of things will be happier. If you think life's not worth living, you've probably not over 30, like you implied. And even if you still think that way, you just need to put your butt on the line more and build things even if they fall time after time.
"Dreams are not just for dreaming, but for living them out." Onizuka Eikichi, 22, my favourite anime.
Madness is just a word that's an obscure label. A label for a wide arc of different states of mind. My madness as you might call it, has a method to it. It may seem like madness from your eyes, but from here, the more you get known to yourself, the better it feels.