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Why do people focus on the negative?


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#1    SereneScene

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Posted 05 May 2012 - 02:09 PM



So I watched this and he is a fighter in MMA and what he says is 100% right, people always focus on the negative, I have thought about this so many times before, crappy lives? Jealosy? The way we are being programmed to think? I mean just look on the news, that has to have at least some part in how we think.

Im not saying we have to bend over for each other and get taken advantage of  but if we just focused on the positives in most situations an overall try to be nice to each other and not as judgemental we would be so much better off, the thing is, everyone knows this, so why dont we do it? Thats the real question....


#2    CommunitarianKevin

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Posted 05 May 2012 - 02:29 PM

You made me chuckle. The guy has a point. I have always wondered why they ask such obvious questions. I mean is anyone going to say "well I might lose, but who cares?" I was watching a competition the other day on TV and everyone said “I’m a competitor, I am here to win.” I asked my wife, “where is the guy that is like ‘meh I don’t really care if I win...I’m just here blowing some time.’ ”
That’s the guy I want to win…

But why are people focused on the negative? Because people love to complain… How can one complain if there is nothing to complain about?

Edited by HuttonEtAl, 05 May 2012 - 02:30 PM.

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#3    Paracelse

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Posted 05 May 2012 - 02:45 PM

When one complains he takes away full responsabilities for his actions.... : it's the government fault the market crashed it's the capitalists fault there is no money it's the weather it's yada yadda yadda ... Your basic Bart thingy I didn't do it.

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#4    CommunitarianKevin

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Posted 05 May 2012 - 02:54 PM

View PostParacelse, on 05 May 2012 - 02:45 PM, said:

When one complains he takes away full responsabilities for his actions.... : it's the government fault the market crashed it's the capitalists fault there is no money it's the weather it's yada yadda yadda ... Your basic Bart thingy I didn't do it.

Ooohhhhh now I get it...Obama is the problem... :D

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#5    sickpuppy

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Posted 05 May 2012 - 02:57 PM

there is a saying..

when i do right noone remembers,
when i do wrong noone forgets.

it's like getting change back from a cashier.. you get the correct amount, you don't think twice.. the exchange was correct..
..when the cashier short-changes you a dollar, it's a whole other story..

Quote

where is the guy that is like ‘meh I don’t really care if I win...I’m just here blowing some time.’ ”
That’s the guy I want to win…
:tu:
that's the guy who carries his own treasure with him.. he doesn't mind so much being short changed..

Edited by unit, 05 May 2012 - 02:59 PM.

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#6    Sakari

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Posted 05 May 2012 - 05:00 PM

Very good topic, very good grammar from everyone, very good replies....Good job everyone !

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#7    Mike D boy

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Posted 05 May 2012 - 05:14 PM

We focus on bad stuff and negative things as what we need to work on, yet our society is taught not to dwell on negativity and shun anyone with a pessimistic attitude or worldview. But society seems to also improve on the standard of living and the quality of our system in how it operates, keep honesty in and corruption out. I have many people view me as a fatalist, but no...I'm a realist not in a fantasy world of "happy-happy-go lucky-joy joy" and never feels a need to ignore what's really going on in the world around us and in our personal lives to deal with on an everyday basis.

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#8    I Am Not Resisting

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Posted 05 May 2012 - 06:09 PM

View PostSakari, on 05 May 2012 - 05:00 PM, said:

Very good topic, very good grammar from everyone, very good replies....Good job everyone !
At first I thought to myself, "What is the point of that post?"  But now I got ya.  ;) :tu:   My brain is running a little slow today.

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#9    Sakari

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Posted 05 May 2012 - 06:12 PM

View PostI Am Not Resisting, on 05 May 2012 - 06:09 PM, said:

At first I thought to myself, "What is the point of that post?"  But now I got ya.  ;) :tu:   My brain is running a little slow today.



See, when you first read it you were being negative.. :)

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#10    ealdwita

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Posted 05 May 2012 - 06:21 PM

The trick is to think positively. (Everything will still be negative - but in a positive way!)

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#11    SereneScene

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Posted 05 May 2012 - 07:31 PM

View PostMike the Autist-ic, on 05 May 2012 - 05:14 PM, said:

We focus on bad stuff and negative things as what we need to work on, yet our society is taught not to dwell on negativity and shun anyone with a pessimistic attitude or worldview. But society seems to also improve on the standard of living and the quality of our system in how it operates, keep honesty in and corruption out. I have many people view me as a fatalist, but no...I'm a realist not in a fantasy world of "happy-happy-go lucky-joy joy" and never feels a need to ignore what's really going on in the world around us and in our personal lives to deal with on an everyday basis.
This is very true, we cant pretend that the world is some happy go lucky place as its not but we can try our hardest to be positive and give that energy to others.


#12    awest

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Posted 05 May 2012 - 07:52 PM

There is quite a bit of research on this topic, the brain is designed to remember bad experiences longer. Bad experiences make a larger impact. For instance, earlier in our evolution before complex thought arose, if you ate something and it made you sick you associated the thing you ate to the bad experience. Remembering the bad experiences helped you stay alive. The following is a quote from one of the many studies that have been done on the subject.
""This is a general tendency for everyone," said Clifford Nass, a professor of communication at Stanford University. "Some people do have a more positive outlook, but almost everyone remembers negative things more strongly and in more detail."

There are physiological as well as psychological reasons for this.

"The brain handles positive and negative information in different hemispheres," said Professor Nass, who co-authored "The Man Who Lied to His Laptop: What Machines Teach Us About Human Relationships" (Penguin 2010). Negative emotions generally involve more thinking, and the information is processed more thoroughly than positive ones, he said. Thus, we tend to ruminate more about unpleasant events and use stronger words to describe them than happy ones."

Edited by awest, 05 May 2012 - 07:56 PM.


#13    JGirl

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Posted 05 May 2012 - 08:32 PM

negativity is contagious. i try to stay away whenever possible.

Edited by JGirl, 05 May 2012 - 08:33 PM.


#14    Blue Star

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Posted 05 May 2012 - 09:15 PM

in response to the question, 'why do people focus on the negative'.
I find this to be because, the negative, is the easy to get to.

It seems people are generally lazy thinkers and it takes a conscious effort to make a paradigm shift from lazy thinking.
The reality is what it is.
Yet, we all have the capacity to see it positively or not.
How i chose to see something may be in conflict to how another would choose to see it but it is a choice, how something is felt or thought of, the reality stays as is. :yes:


#15    Star of the Sea

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Posted 05 May 2012 - 10:07 PM

Yes we do focus more on the bad and not the good... well most of the time! It goes back to our schemeta (belief systems) built earlier on in life. Catch your thoughts... watch them as an observer and you will be surprised at how much we admonish ourselves. If, you stop and objectively examine your negative thoughts (especially at bedtime) then try and give yourself some loving, positive reinforcement  - your brain will go on a subconscious search to make your mood more uplifted. :tu:

Edited by Star of the Sea, 05 May 2012 - 10:08 PM.

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