225 replies to this topic

[EllJay]

Its Goldilocks-temperature...not to hot, not to cold, but just perfect to die for.




What do you call a male ladybug?

[acute]

A six-legged cross-dressing freak!
Or 'Derek', if his name's Derek.



Everyone has heard of 'turkey grease' so why do Turkey and Greece not get along?

[ouija ouija]

I think the main reason is that the Turks keep on misspelling 'Greece' as 'Grease', to the point where the Greeks feel they're doing it on purpose.


If it takes six men eleven hours to dig a hole of the required size, and each man has 50mns break during that time and only one man is on a break at any given time ........ what has each man got in his lunch box?

Edited by ouija ouija, 03 September 2012 - 07:49 PM.

[Purifier]

10 Hrs and 10 mins of empty space because at some point each of them should of been really fringin' hungry.





Who's winning the human race?

[ouija ouija]

OMG! Has it started already? When did it start? I'm not ready! *wriggles and squirms into bright pink lycra running two-piece*  * gets laces in a knot trying to fasten them quickly*


Why did Davy Jones decide to locate his locker at the bottom of the sea?

[acute]

Being full of lemons, his locker was heavy, and fell overboard.



What eradicated disease do you think we should reintroduce?

[ouija ouija]

I would like scurvy to be reintroduced because it sounds so jolly .............. it sounds like a jolly dance: ' Take your partners for The Scurvy!'


What is the thinking behind the expression: driving someone round the bend?

[acute]

It is a term derived from the world of plumbing, for when someone is as pleasant as a blocked toilet.



Instead of compulsory-purchasing 200 homes, why can't they build another runway at Heathrow above an existing one?

[ouija ouija]

Honestly Alan, your gigantic brain is wasted here .......... you should have a job as Cameron's top adviser(advisor?), in every department. I cannot fault your idea of stacking runways on top of each other ....... why stop at just two?


How was it possible for 'too many cooks to spoil the broth'? Surely, 'the more, the merrier'?

[acute]

ouija ouija, on 04 September 2012 - 05:24 PM, said:

How was it possible for 'too many cooks to spoil the broth'?

The cooks were in the broth!



Are you gonna be glued to the new Dallas?

[ouija ouija]

HAHAHA! That has to be THE silliest question in this 'silly question' thread! Who in their right mind is going to be watching it? ....................................... ........................aah ... you're going to, aren't you?


'You are what you eat': does this really apply to anyone?

[acute]

Yes... me! My name is Chip. Alan Chip.



Why do they say "Just what the doctor ordered"?

[Purifier]

A few people who are wannabe' Doctors and always seem to get exactly what they wanted.




If I went the speed of light around the Earth, would I catch up with myself?

[ouija ouija]

Weeell, the odds are pretty much stacked against it, aren't they? For instance: as you zoomed around for the second time, you could miss yourself simply by being at a slightly different altitude ........ OR ...... your original self may have stopped in at a cafe for a snack at the precise moment when your second self flies by. Still, I may be wrong. Let me know how you get on with that.


Why is tie-dying not as popular as it was?

[acute]

It's just a fashion fad — like long beards, wearing beads, or using acid.


Are you waiting for the new season of Dallas to come out on dvd?



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Edited by acute alan, 12 September 2012 - 02:01 PM.