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Skyrim Humour


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#1    Child of Bast

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Posted 15 May 2012 - 02:27 PM

I don't play Skyrim, but I have read enough about it online to get why this is so funny. I found it on a website I visit daily called Not Always Right. This particular incident occurred in Hamburg, Germany.


Quote

(Skyrim, a popular video game, has just been released. As a result, we are overwhelmed by people who have come to retrieve pre-ordered games and others who haven’t pre-ordered. We’ve just run out of non-pre-ordered games when a customer comes in. He’s holding an empty Skyrim box.)
Customer: “Oh, hi. I would like to buy Skyrim on PC, please.”
Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, we’ve just run out of it. The only ones we have left are pre-ordered.”
Customer: “Aw, come on, man! You must have some left in the back! Please, go check!”
Me: “No, I’m sure we ran out of those. Same for PS3 and Xbox versions. Come back tomorrow morning; we’ll be resupplied.”
(He moans about it for at least 5 minutes before giving up and begins wandering around the store. At this moment, another customer comes in to retrieve a pre-ordered PC version of Skyrim. Before we can say or do anything, the first customer LEAPS on the man, snatches the game from his hands and runs away, with me in tow followed by security. During the chase, the thief screams as if we are going to murder him.)
Customer: “LEAVE ME ALONE, IT’S MINE! IT’S MYYYYYYYYYYYY GAME!”
(A few meters later, he crosses the path of a tall man who, seeing and hearing the commotion, screams something to the thief. The tall man then rams the thief with his shoulder, sending the poor kid fly backwards and landing a least half a meter away. As the thief is being taken away by security and I’m retrieving the game box, I talk to the tall man.)
Me: “Sir, what did you yell to him before grabbing him?”
Tall Man: “Promise you won’t laugh?”
Me: “Okay.”
Tall Man: “FUS RO DAH!”
(FYI, “Fus Ro Dah” is a spell in Skyrim that allows players to violently push enemies and objects around. I couldn’t avoid laughing, and neither could he!)


'A phantom,' said my Uncle Mycroft, who had just materialised, 'is essentially a heteromorphic wave pattern that gains solidity when the apparition converts thermal energy from the surroundings to visible light. It's a fascinating process and I'm amazed no one has thought of harnessing it - a holographic TV that could operate from the heat given off by an average-size guinea pig.' ~ First Among Sequels, Jasper Fforde

#2    JonathanVonErich

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Posted 15 May 2012 - 02:33 PM

I used to enjoy reading article like that one....then I took an arrow to the knee.


#3    Shosanna Dreyfus

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Posted 15 May 2012 - 05:42 PM

A funny thing happened to me once when I went into a ruin with one of the warrior woman companions.  We met and joined up with a female mage character who was also exploring the ruin and was looking for something.  But in battle with the hostile creatures of the lair, the mage insisted on casting a flame spell that caught the warrior woman in it's blast one time too many.  So they both started attacking each other.  And because the only way for a companion to be killed is for an accidental (or deliberate hit) from the player, they just kept reducing each other to a wounded state and kneeling for a while before going at it all over again.  I didn't want to take a side and have to kill any of them, so eventually I was able to get them to work together by casting a heal spell on both of them.  I guess three girls trying to work together really was a recipe for disaster, tee hee!

"My name is Shosanna Dreyfus and THIS is the face... of Jewish vengeance!"
Shosanna will return in... Shosanna Kills... Shosanna Kills Again and... The Dreyfus Knight Rises!
Bridget Von Hammersmark will return in... The World Is Not Enough and... Quantum Of S.P.A.R.T.A.
Villain:  "Shosanna just sent me a text message!  It says I just *beep*ed with the wrong French girl!"

#4    Child of Bast

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Posted 15 May 2012 - 08:18 PM

View PostJonathanVonErich, on 15 May 2012 - 02:33 PM, said:

I used to enjoy reading article like that one....then I took an arrow to the knee.

Posted Image

'A phantom,' said my Uncle Mycroft, who had just materialised, 'is essentially a heteromorphic wave pattern that gains solidity when the apparition converts thermal energy from the surroundings to visible light. It's a fascinating process and I'm amazed no one has thought of harnessing it - a holographic TV that could operate from the heat given off by an average-size guinea pig.' ~ First Among Sequels, Jasper Fforde

#5    Xanthurion2

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Posted 09 June 2012 - 09:42 AM

"Did you see those warriors from Hammerfell? They have curved swords. Curved. Swords."

Edited by Xanthurion2, 09 June 2012 - 09:42 AM.

SRS

#6    Yamato

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Posted 24 June 2012 - 01:46 PM

Is Skyrim for the Nords?  Well duhh.


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