52 replies to this topic

[hetrodoxly]

Just give in and let them have their wicked way with you.

[the1truebat]

Tell them that your name is "Jim" and ask how convincing you are as a woman.

[HeartsAreForBreaking]

bLu3 de 3n3rgy, on 17 May 2012 - 03:15 AM, said:

The idea is to make your self completely unattractive in their mind. Because it starts off on this note, you have to be 100% honest with yourself and make sure there isn't a part of your ego that isn't  wanting this attention. When you are sure that is not the case, the next thing to out rule is any unconscious body language you are sending out by becoming more aware of the body language you can send out which denotes, "These are my boundaries".  Look up google or get body language for dummies. It shows how to stand properly, which stances convey submissive, which stands covey you know your own space and the book is written by a female.

Touching your body and cloths is not acceptable, nor is making you back up until your against the wall. These are clearly people who are boundary dysfunctional, dangerous, crazy etc. I'm sorry but normal people do not do these things.

If someone ever invades your space, you can end the conversation and walk away. In the adult world no one has endure such bad manners like that, and that is exactly what they are, bad filthy mannered. If this has been happening to you since you were 12 years old then at some point you have to realise it i snot something you should ever just have to put up with.

Because of your young age, I'm going to say, never let a persons age or demur or what they say about themselves make you think you have to stay there and listen to them. You have the right to tell anyone to F off or mind their own business.

On an energy level, i believe like attracts like, if something becomes a prevalent issue that repeats and repeats and repeats, then in my experience it does suggest that something is not being managed or listened too. First place to check is the ego. If you 'aware', empathic type, it could simply be your energy attracts unstable people. If you suspect this has a a part to play then you need to work on your empathic filters and re program your energy field, shield and dial it down a notch with the intention that only those who are 'respectful and balanced' may notice you on all levels.  It may sound dumb but if you are energy /emapthic aware it is not dumb at all. You can make your self appear subconsciously invisible to those you don't want to be noticed by and vice versa.

I know plenty of other sensitives who would agree with me that fine tuning and learning to gage what level of shielding and filtering is necessary so you can have a relatively 'normal time' when you do go out in public is normal to go through, but important to learn for your own sake. Before i learned to do that, I used to attract a certain kind of crazy (not sleazy people thank god) but aggressive people, people looking to fight and hi - jack taxis and whatnot, when ever i went  out in public too, and i got so sick of it I wanted to become reclusive. I learned it was my energy amping others and amplifying their natural traits, which is good when it's good people around, but bad when it's morons around.

No, I certainly don't want or need attention like this. People want to be liked to some degree generally, and I'm no different, but if I can have a few friends who mutually and truly care about me and enjoy my company, that's just about perfect for me. I do try making a point of looking at myself and what role I may be playing in something, and I don't think my body language would be percieved by most as submissive, or too forward for that matter. I'll strike up a casual conversation now and then when I'm waiting in line somewhere, so I'm comfortable being outgoing to other people, but I don't invade their space, I am careful about that.

Age, demure, social status, wealth, what they say, I never let something like that affect my interactions with them beyond a reasonable level. I don't go slapping my boss around or anything at work, but especially with the kind of situation I grew up in, I've learned to have no problem respectfully questioning anyone, authority or not, when and where I feel it's warranted. Confidence in handling this isn't an issue, and I have no problem physically removing someone from my space if need be. I'm assertive with my words first, but if I truly feel threatened I'll manage that the best way I can otherwise. In fact I had an issue today with a client at my work. He got too pushy, and aggressive, and he pushed it further when I told him he needed to stop, to the point where I did feel threatened, so when he went to grab me I grabbed his outstretched arm instead and put him in a sort of hold until he calmed down.

I have been told I have a "magnetic personality", and that I'm empathic, so maybe that's it. Now and then when I'm in public I take a look at myself and try to look at my body language, how I'm dressed, how I'm presenting myself, etc etc, objectively. I honestly don't think it's any of that, and maybe I'm wrong, or others see something I don't, but anyway it's not an issue of being incapable of handling myself and how I interact with others, it's just a matter of that it gets annoying having to deal with stupid men who try persistently to pick me up, figuratively speaking. If he or she polite and not pushy, I can easily say something along the times of "Thank you, but I'm not interested." If a person approaches me in just a friendly and casual manner, I usually won't turn down a good conversation if the timing isn't bad, and even if they do make a move on me a little too "forwardly", I have every capability to turn them down, but I'm just looking for a quicker, more pain-free way to do so. Thanks to everyone who's opted to give me their advice and 2 cents on the matter.

[HeartsAreForBreaking]

the1truebat, on 18 May 2012 - 06:12 AM, said:

Tell them that your name is "Jim" and ask how convincing you are as a woman.

PS once or twice when a man has used the whole "So what do you do for a living" line on me, I told them I was a professional female immitator, and in one incident when a guy at a bar asked me what I was "doing in a place like this", I told him I was looking for a new host body. You men are just impossible to please, you know that? Not only do I have to be pretty, now I actually have to be a woman too? Who writes these rules anyway?!

[JonathanVonErich]

Just say that you're gay.

Problem solved !

[Purifier]

JonathanVonErich, on 18 May 2012 - 03:10 PM, said:

Just say that you're gay.

Problem solved !

Lol...yeah but if she tells them that, word will get around and SS might have the same problem with other women as well. Double whamy!

[Lcvec]

ScreamingSarcasm, on 18 May 2012 - 12:26 PM, said:

No, I certainly don't want or need attention like this. People want to be liked to some degree generally, and I'm no different, but if I can have a few friends who mutually and truly care about me and enjoy my company, that's just about perfect for me. I do try making a point of looking at myself and what role I may be playing in something, and I don't think my body language would be percieved by most as submissive, or too forward for that matter. I'll strike up a casual conversation now and then when I'm waiting in line somewhere, so I'm comfortable being outgoing to other people, but I don't invade their space, I am careful about that.

Age, demure, social status, wealth, what they say, I never let something like that affect my interactions with them beyond a reasonable level. I don't go slapping my boss around or anything at work, but especially with the kind of situation I grew up in, I've learned to have no problem respectfully questioning anyone, authority or not, when and where I feel it's warranted. Confidence in handling this isn't an issue, and I have no problem physically removing someone from my space if need be. I'm assertive with my words first, but if I truly feel threatened I'll manage that the best way I can otherwise. In fact I had an issue today with a client at my work. He got too pushy, and aggressive, and he pushed it further when I told him he needed to stop, to the point where I did feel threatened, so when he went to grab me I grabbed his outstretched arm instead and put him in a sort of hold until he calmed down.

I have been told I have a "magnetic personality", and that I'm empathic, so maybe that's it. Now and then when I'm in public I take a look at myself and try to look at my body language, how I'm dressed, how I'm presenting myself, etc etc, objectively. I honestly don't think it's any of that, and maybe I'm wrong, or others see something I don't, but anyway it's not an issue of being incapable of handling myself and how I interact with others, it's just a matter of that it gets annoying having to deal with stupid men who try persistently to pick me up, figuratively speaking. If he or she polite and not pushy, I can easily say something along the times of "Thank you, but I'm not interested." If a person approaches me in just a friendly and casual manner, I usually won't turn down a good conversation if the timing isn't bad, and even if they do make a move on me a little too "forwardly", I have every capability to turn them down, but I'm just looking for a quicker, more pain-free way to do so. Thanks to everyone who's opted to give me their advice and 2 cents on the matter.

Sorry but I don't see how you can find a "perfect solution" for this. Blue de Energy was right, either you have to make yourself unattractive or they have to think you're not worth the trouble. Can't you just ignore the guy and walk away if he starts pushing it?

[bLu3 de 3n3rgy]

The empathic thing works on subconscious levels, empathic people have a far bigger energy field than those who are not. There may not be any fault on your part as far as physical space goes, but energetically, empathic people can hold a large space, so large that they are infact sitting in everyone else's energy field too. Majority of people may not notice this consciously, other sensitives would notice, but some others may only notice because they feel better around you or drawn to sit in your space.

What tends to happen is being on a higher frequency because you are aware of them on more levels that just physical, leads to them being temporarily raised up in frequency level too. This feels good to people, because it does feel good to be on a higher frequency energy wise. The jump in being lifted up frequency wise is a very powerful healing and clearing movement. However, for the unguarded emapth, this can lead to them being dumped on basically, emotionally as all the emotional troubles and discords of other person or people are lifted from there field into yours because you are sitting in their field like a flood light, saying come on, give me all your troubles here.

This is fine under intended circumstances when say helping someone to heal or feel better, but when you intend it you know not to take on the persons issues or their energy  into your own space. You know to block that and ground yourself so you do not become a sponge for other peoples **** and baggage.

For many empathic people they falsely feel more comfortable being hugely expanded and only functioning from their top half's (energy speaking) They tend to be top heavy and barely grounding anything through their root.  In being like this, they can literately fill a whole room up like a huge proud oak tree and feel everything and everyone in that room. This fine to be like this around in your own space and when you are metaphysically working, but around the general public and through your day to day life, it is asking for problems unfortunately.  Trouble can begin when subconsciously other people notice your field is in their field. They can subconsciously notice this even if they do not consciously registar it or understand what it is they sense, about you.  Some people are just plain thick and completely self centred that any attention they sense if even only subconsciously, translates as being, oh that person will gleefully take all my garbage off me, which leads them to thinking that person really wants me.

Basically there is numerous reasons why life can be hard for an empath because of how energy fields work, and how little people understand them, but many do not take the time to look at the fact that the problem could partially be something they can learn to control. If you have never done anything before going out to ground and shield yourself, and make your energy field more normal sized so that you are blending in, rather than sticking out, then it may help. It's not physically blending in, its energetically blending in.

The easiest and quickest way to do it is to hug your yourself with your arms and breath in deeply with a pulling movement on your breath down to your gut (real breathing) not shallow breathing, and with each deep draw, intend your energy field to be pulled in closer and closer to you with every breath as if you are commanding it to hug your full body stay and like that. Ideally for going out in public you want your field no bigger than 3 foot out. Three foot tends to be just under the distance that is deemed appropriate for protecting your own space. No one is likely to step inside of your 3 foot radius if they are normal. When you have your field turned in to this kind of distance, then you use everything you pulled and condensed back into you, to form a outer barrier and shield around you like an egg. You can picture this anyway it suits you. Make the outer layer reflective, just intend it to be a reflective metallic or mirror layer that will bounce back anyone else's projections or energy field back off you.  For some reason I'm being shown that what would work for you in how you concept things, would be to picture yourself wearing a suit of medieval armour. A really shiny metal one that doesn't absorb anything but mirrors everything back. People tend to sober up around you and back off, when they feel everything about themselves being mirrored back to them. lol

[JonathanVonErich]

"I'm a lesbian".

That's all she have to say, and I don't have to write a book or a long boring post to explain what I mean.

[HeartsAreForBreaking]

JonathanVonErich, on 19 May 2012 - 03:02 AM, said:

"I'm a lesbian".

That's all she have to say, and I don't have to write a book or a long boring post to explain what I mean.

Actually my sexual preference is chocolate

[the1truebat]

ScreamingSarcasm, on 18 May 2012 - 12:31 PM, said:

PS once or twice when a man has used the whole "So what do you do for a living" line on me, I told them I was a professional female immitator, and in one incident when a guy at a bar asked me what I was "doing in a place like this", I told him I was looking for a new host body. You men are just impossible to please, you know that? Not only do I have to be pretty, now I actually have to be a woman too? Who writes these rules anyway?!

Now, don't go trying to put order to chaos, you are way overthinking this and giving us men way too much credit. We are simple creatures, if it's pretty, we want to play with it. However, after a few, we'll play with anything, even if it's gonna hurt us. You have to remember, the lord blessed us men with 2 heads, but only enough blood to run one at a time. Unfortunately, basic language skills are among the first to go. So, after condemning, (or kicking) remember, technically, it's natures fault, and we're only pawns in the mating game of life.

[ZaraKitty]

Respond with even worse 'moves'. Act like a fat drunk man, puff your gut out, rest with one elbow on something, scratch your ear then sniff your finger. Don't forget to spit.
"Sure, I'd love to get some dranks wit chu sugar."

[ZaraKitty]

Now for the serious advice.
If someone gets too close to me, I make it obvious I noticed them moving closer and stare them down until they back off, then go back to friendly me. I have a reflex, when someone touches me I jump back and tend to show my teeth, sneer I think it's called. I don't consciously do it, but it seems to work. I'm pretty guarded when It comes to touching.
"Don't touch me." Is also effective

Edit** by 'stare down' I mean I look at there feet, then at their face. Repeat.

Edited by ZaraKitty, 03 July 2012 - 04:37 AM.

[Coffey]

rashore, on 17 May 2012 - 02:50 PM, said:

There's a lot of almost polite but not terribly kind lines to fend of unwanted attention. Kind of depends on what kind of tricky the hitting on takes. I'm guessing beyond the standard no thank you kind of polite turn down.

"I'm sorry, but I'm a lady, and ladies do not have anything to do with men who fondle strange womens garments in public."
"Just wondering, would my shorts feel that good to your fingers if they were broken? If you don't remove your fingers from my shorts we can find out."
"Bit of wingman advice buddy. When you fondle a gals clothes like that, it kind of says you have no more respect for them than a blow up doll. And yes, gals can tell. So maybe you might want to leave that out of your come on bag of tricks "
"Maybe it's the age difference, I just can't see myself dating someone from my parents generation."
"Maybe I'm more mature than you, I'm not sure. But I seem to know socially acceptable behavior better than you."
"Sorry, I bat for the home team."
"Sorry, I got a man. And if you think that does not matter, then you are the kind of man that either likes cheating on his woman, or does not mind if his woman cheats on him. Either way, I don't want anything to do with a cheater."
"You know, you shouldn't impinge a ladies honor like that."
"Thank you for the complement of your interest. Unfortunately I don't feel the same."
"Look, I can either be nice and just simply tell you no. Or you can be persistent and I can be a B**** till you understand."

This lady knows her stuff. These replies get my respect, but then I would never in my life touch a girl in anyway without talking to them first and knowing them for a while or going on a few dates and even then it would depend on how close I felt we are. Beside any decent guy knows you would touch the hand or face waaaaaaay befor eever attmepting any other areas, have to make sure a girl is ok with you touching those areas first.

If I was a girl i'd smack someone for touching me like that. If a girl touched me like that without knowing me I'd think they where an STD ridden mess and not want to go there. Nothing more off putitng than someone who just shoves it into your face.

[Ratte]

When people touch me and I'm not expecting it, I stare at them like they've grown a second head until they stop touching me. If they don't stop in a few seconds, I back away. Depending on if I'm at work or not, I'll try to change the subject or hold my hand out to prevent them from getting any closer. If they keep trying to touch I say "Please don't touch me." and only once has it gotten to "DON'T ****ING TOUCH ME!" I usually talk with a light, high pitched, feminine voice, but when I get upset, my normal voice shows and it's a deep, manly rumble and scares people. I've had a couple people call it demonic, ha.

I'd suggest telling them you have explosive diarrhea. No joke. It's worked for me when a friend was trying to tickle me. Or tell them you had a cold recently and that you don't want them to get it.