8 replies to this topic

[markdohle]

Music/memories/emotional responses

Alphonse is a very gentle man, small in stature and very quiet.  He has a dry sense of humor and likes to make little jokes about himself which are in fact quite funny.  Sometimes he will come by the office in the evening and ask if we could watch ‘lindy-hop’ on YouTube.  It is I guess the jitterbug…. hyped up on caffeine… a lot of it.  It is an amazing dance to watch and he likes to look at the same one.  He also likes to watch ‘In the mood’, a swing classic from the 40’s.  While watching these presentation on YouTube he becomes young again, his eyes light up and this very big grin comes on his face.  He smile easily, but this is different.  I think perhaps he is reliving some memories from his younger days.

Edmund was a very quiet man; he spoke with a  soft voice and never showed a great deal of emotion.  When he was a young man he used to play the violin and also was a lover of Jazz.  He has been gone now about six years but it seems like yesterday that I learned of the power of music to touch a gentle soul deeply.  I was in the main sitting room reading.  I had just put on a Billy Holiday CD for him.  Billy was an all time favorite of Edmund’s.  I believe he told me that he saw her a few times in the Jazz clubs where she preformed.  So as I sat down and started to read; I noticed from my peripheral vision that Edmund was coming towards me in his wheelchair.  As I looked up I became alarmed because I saw him in an emotional state that I had never experienced before from him before.  His eyes were wide, his lips trembled and he was crying.  Then I saw they were tears of joy and I guess of memories past.  Yes I could never think about music the same again after that.  I know from experience that music, even though I am not a great listener, touches me deeply as well.  He also loved Louie Armstrong.

William is the same.  In his heyday, he was known as ‘Billy Love’ and I heard he was a very good musician.  He is of course a jazz lover.  Over the past couple of years he could spend the whole day singing, though the words could not be understood.  Sometimes the songs would be joyful, at others, he would cry when he sang.  I sometimes tell him that when he sings God laughs with pleasure. When he hears this, he sings louder.  Lately he is singing less as his dementia deepens, yet he still has a life, with good days, bad days we all have our share….as Led Zeppelin sang in their first and I feel best recording.

Perhaps music is just another voice that God uses to speak to most of us.  I know there are people who are tone deaf but I am sure they hear the voice of God through other forms of beauty just as we all do.  I have learned a lot from the old men I have taken care of.  For instance one day I was joking with Edmund that he does not want to go to heaven soon, since he is holding on for a long time.  He was in a wheel chair, bad back problems and had dementia.  He looked up at me, gave me that gently loving smile and said:  “we are here for such a short time; we should hang on as long as possible”.  Now that was a statement that changed me on some level.  Here almost ten years later, I still remember that quote and loving smile.

I have had no one that we have taken care of here ask for their lives to be shortened, but no one ever asked for us to do everything possible to extend their lives.  They just wanted to live out their years and when their time came, to be allowed to die peacefully if possible and if not, to be given the comfort needed to help them go without too much struggle.

[Still Waters]

I think music can get through to people even when they can't communicate themselves. My late mother-in-law who had dementia, could hardly speak or understand what anyone said to her. Yet, if there was music playing in the background her foot would tap to the beat and everyone could see she was clearly enjoying it especially Scottish dance music. She used to play the fiddle as a child and always liked that kind of music. It was obvious she could still recognise it and it was nice to see her doing that too.

[markdohle]

Still Waters, on 26 May 2012 - 02:37 PM, said:

I think music can get through to people even when they can't communicate themselves. My late mother-in-law who had dementia, could hardly speak or understand what anyone said to her. Yet, if there was music playing in the background her foot would tap to the beat and everyone could see she was clearly enjoying it especially Scottish dance music. She used to play the fiddle as a child and always liked that kind of music. It was obvious she could still recognise it and it was nice to see her doing that too.

Music is truly a great gift for mankind.  I agree with you, it is a deep memory, perhaps really a part of our soul, which is also touched so profoundly.

Peace
Mark

[Abramelin]

I think music resonates in a way with the 'limbic system' in our brains.

The limbic system is about basic, 'primitive emotions', like hunger, fear, agression, sex, and also love.

When some sort of music is being played while we are experiencing a really emotional event, like having sex, your wedding ceremony, the burial of one of your parents and so on, the birth of your daughter/son, a war, a date, a heavy argument, and so on, the two get connected, and the connection is being saved in that limbic system.

And everytime you hear that music again, you will feel happy, sad, angry, afraid,  or whatever you felt when the muisic was being played when you were having that emotional experience. It's an unconscious connection, so you will have no idea why you feel like you feel when you hear that music again.

[markdohle]

Abramelin, on 26 May 2012 - 06:42 PM, said:

I think music resonates in a way with the 'limbic system' in our brains.

The limbic system is about basic, 'primitive emotions', like hunger, fear, agression, sex, and also love.

When some sort of music is being played while we are experiencing a really emotional event, like having sex, your wedding ceremony, the burial of one of your parents and so on, the birth of your daughter/son, a war, a date, a heavy argument, and so on, the two get connected, and the connection is being saved in that limbic system.

And everytime you hear that music again, you will feel happy, sad, angry, afraid,  or whatever you felt when the muisic was being played when you were having that emotional experience. It's an unconscious connection, so you will have no idea why you feel like you feel when you hear that music again.

Yeah, the same goes for smell as well I believe and taste, at least for me.

peace
Mark

[Abramelin]

markdohle, on 26 May 2012 - 09:13 PM, said:

Yeah, the same goes for smell as well I believe and taste, at least for me.

peace
Mark

Not just for you, for everyone.

Smell and taste are even more basic than sound.

But I don't think there's some 'god' involved.

It's about basic instincts.

But then you will have to accept how we evolved from ape-LIKE ancestors, or even much further down the road of evolution.

+++

I also added 'love' as a basic instinct, because that is what I think it is.

We care for eachother, one way or the other, and that is why we are still here.

But 'love' is not just our thing...it's a thing other creatures have too.

Your dog or cat will do anything to find its way back to you when it's lost. We all have heard about these stories.

Is that just because it knows you will give it food, shelter, protection, attention, acceptance?

Maybe that is why we love too? Maybe that is what 'love' is all about?

+++

To me 'love' appears to be closely connected with music.

Music appears to tickle something deep down, something basic.

Like 'love' does.

I would give a million to hear the voice of my father again, and willing to rob a bank if anyone told me I had to pay for something they had taped my father once said or sang.

I remember my father as a guy who always sang when doing chores.

And I will never forget what a neighbour once said after my father died: "I miss your father. I miss his voice, he was always singing. It's quiet now."








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Edited by Abramelin, 27 May 2012 - 02:02 AM.

[markdohle]

Abramelin, on 27 May 2012 - 01:12 AM, said:

Not just for you, for everyone.

Smell and taste are even more basic than sound.

But I don't think there's some 'god' involved.

It's about basic instincts.

But then you will have to accept how we evolved from ape-LIKE ancestors, or even much further down the road of evolution.

+++

I also added 'love' as a basic instinct, because that is what I think it is.

We care for eachother, one way or the other, and that is why we are still here.

But 'love' is not just our thing...it's a thing other creatures have too.

Your dog or cat will do anything to find its way back to you when it's lost. We all have heard about these stories.

Is that just because it knows you will give it food, shelter, protection, attention, acceptance?

Maybe that is why we love too? Maybe that is what 'love' is all about?

+++

To me 'love' appears to be closely connected with music.

Music appears to tickle something deep down, something basic.

Like 'love' does.

I would give a million to hear the voice of my father again, and willing to rob a bank if anyone told me I had to pay for something they had taped my father once said or sang.

I remember my father as a guy who always sang when doing chores.

And I will never forget what a neighbour once said after my father died: "I miss your father. I miss his voice, he was always singing. It's quiet now."

My mom used to hum when did her chores, I loved to hear it, very soothing.  One day I asked her what tune it was and she said:  I don't know, your grandmother hummed it to".

The quote about your father is pure poety, lovely, and heart breaking.....thanks for sharing that.

Peace
Mark

[Abramelin]

Thanks Mark.

To me words are nothing but crutches to help us go along during our cumbersome way of trying to express what we truelly feel.

To me music expresses feelings much more directly. They played Mozart's requiem to Papuan New Guineans, people who had never even heard of a Mozart. They felt sad, especially after the "Lacrimosa" part....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JE2muDZksP4

Like we all do.

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Edited by Abramelin, 28 May 2012 - 07:14 PM.

[markdohle]

Abramelin, on 28 May 2012 - 07:03 PM, said:

Thanks Mark.

To me words are nothing but crutches to help us go along during our cumbersome way of trying to express what we truelly feel.

To me music expresses feelings much more directly. They played Mozart's requiem to Papuan New Guineans, people who had never even heard of a Mozart. They felt sad, especially after the "Lacrimosa" part....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JE2muDZksP4

Like we all do.

.

Music and I would add poetry.  At least when written in order to express oneself more deeply.  Of course the words in music are poetry in anycase.

I will look at the site you recommended.

peace
mark