16 replies to this topic

[spud the mackem]

Anyone got any TRUE funny stories ??
I went to the movies with son last week to see Men In Black 3, we got there soon and got a good seat in the middle, then it started filling up, noticeably with Women and young kids, not another man in sight ! , then the lights went down and adverts started , the kids were making a bit of noise when son looked at me and said "I think we are in the wrong place, what screen was it you said" I replied "Screen 1", "Well it says over there that this is Screen 10 ", so we beat a hasty exit before "Ice Age" came on, and just made the start of M-I-B 3. what a nutcase ! Duh !

[Princess Tumbleweed]

yes everyday lol

[RazielKTB]

Since I was born

[StarMountainKid]

Sometimes I walk to a nearby store, sometimes I drive. Sometimes when I drive I walk back, look at my driveway and wonder where my car is.

[spud the mackem]

Nice one S.M.K....I went to a supermarket last week, parked the car and noticed this woman walking up and down.I did my shopping for about an hour then went back to my car, the woman was still there,then she came up and said, "I seem to have mislaid my car I always park in this row,its a blue Ford Fiesta," I said,"Have you tried pressing your key the lights usually come on and the door unlocks". She pressed her key and a car nearly opposite put its lights on. "Oh thankyou",she said as she went to a Silver Vauxhall, ?. then turned around and said, "I've just remembered I sold my Fiesta last week".................

[booNyzarC]

StarMountainKid, on 16 June 2012 - 05:08 PM, said:

Sometimes I walk to a nearby store, sometimes I drive. Sometimes when I drive I walk back, look at my driveway and wonder where my car is.

That is simply awesome.  

[diablo_04]

I always forget my umbrella, it's just weird, usually I coming home with my umbrella even if it's raining....maybe because i'm drink idk lol

[ioppolo]

When I walk into a room, I ALWAYS forget what I wanted.

[HeartsAreForBreaking]

I have one involving a movie theater too. I was probably about 11 or 12 and an aunt and uncle took me to a movie, and since we got there early I got up to use the bathroom or something real fast after we got our seats, and when I came back it was dark and all that, and I took a seat next to a man who "looked" like my uncle. Well, I leaned over and kissed him on the cheek and said thanks for the movie kind of automatically, and even then I probably would've spent the entire time in that seat, clueless, had I not heard two voices a few rows back whispering my name. I think the look on my poor face must've been comical, and the way I very slowlllly turned around, because my aunt and my uncle, and several other people in the theater were laughing, and then I looked over at the seat next to me and there was a complete stranger sitting there, not angry or anything, but he had this humoring smile on like he was just waiting for me to realize my mistake. Needless to say I said sorry, and got up from my seat and ran back to my aunt and uncle. Thankfully the guy wasn't at all bothered either; I can just imagine the headlines if he had been. "Innocent Man Groped in Local Movie Theater!"

There was another time when I took my little sister to the doctor's for a routine thing with one of our older sisters, and while the older one was checking her in, my little sister and a friend and I were walking up and down a deserted hall, and my friend and I saw this plastic hanging anatomy skeleton, so we took pictures with my friend's cellphone of us taking turns cuddling up to the model, slapping it's butt, and basically just doing every inappropriate thing you can imagine to this poor creature. The only person who had enough decency and self-respect to behave herself was my little sister, who was incredibly embarrassed by my friend and I, and who understandably didn't want to be seen with us for the rest of that doctors trip.

PS, nice signature pic-thing, Diablo_04.

[spud the mackem]

I came out of the local supermarket to find this old guy with his car keys,trying to get into my car, "YOU have a PROBLEM mate what are you doing with my car "(ready to flatten him), when he said "I cant understand why my key doesn't work,it was ok earlier ". So I said this is my car , and grovelling apologies came forth, his car was Identical and parked 3 cars along, watch these old guys they're deadly car thieves ha ha.......

[HeartsAreForBreaking]

spud the mackem, on 16 June 2012 - 09:14 PM, said:

Nice one S.M.K....I went to a supermarket last week, parked the car and noticed this woman walking up and down.I did my shopping for about an hour then went back to my car, the woman was still there,then she came up and said, "I seem to have mislaid my car I always park in this row,its a blue Ford Fiesta," I said,"Have you tried pressing your key the lights usually come on and the door unlocks". She pressed her key and a car nearly opposite put its lights on. "Oh thankyou",she said as she went to a Silver Vauxhall, ?. then turned around and said, "I've just remembered I sold my Fiesta last week".................

Brill, just brill Spud...the scary part of this for me is that it almost sounds like something I might do.

I was helping a friend in one of his college courses, and the first thing I said to him was "If you don't understand something, stop me as soon as you can". So, I spent about 15 minutes trying to explain to him the significance of the Soviet Montage, and give and show him examples and explain how it tied into socio/political ideas, and after 15 minutes he stops me and says I lost him 15 minutes ago. Some people are just killing me, I tell ya.

Edited by ScreamingSarcasm, 20 June 2012 - 11:11 PM.

[sarah_444]

Last week I "lost" a full jug of OJ after pouring a glass of it.  I was baffled for hours as to how the heck I could've lost a jug of juice and later found it in the cupboard where I keep the glasses..I also found my phone in the fridge once.

About a month ago I was waiting in the car in front of a friend's apartment building downtown when some big guy with dreads jumped into the passenger seat and started thanking me for coming to pick him up.  He was pretty surprised when he actually looked at me and realized he got into the wrong car. lol

Oh, and I always forget my kid's birthdays at the most appropriate times, like filling out preschool applications with the teacher right infront of me.

Edited by sarah_444, 20 June 2012 - 11:47 PM.

[spud the mackem]

sarah_444, on 20 June 2012 - 11:46 PM, said:

Last week I "lost" a full jug of OJ after pouring a glass of it.  I was baffled for hours as to how the heck I could've lost a jug of juice and later found it in the cupboard where I keep the glasses..I also found my phone in the fridge once.

About a month ago I was waiting in the car in front of a friend's apartment building downtown when some big guy with dreads jumped into the passenger seat and started thanking me for coming to pick him up.  He was pretty surprised when he actually looked at me and realized he got into the wrong car. lol

Oh, and I always forget my kid's birthdays at the most appropriate times, like filling out preschool applications with the teacher right infront of me.

   Write kids birthdays down as they get so disappointed, and you feel a jerk.
its like going down the street on a very wet day, but you are fully waterproofed ,funny your feet feel wet ! look down and you have your slippers on .yeehaa

[Beckys_Mom]

I have no sense of direction.. If I am out driving, I normally get lost...  It's no wonder my hubby freaks out  if I say -  Hey  I know a short cut   lol

[spud the mackem]

Beckys_Mom, on 25 June 2012 - 06:12 PM, said:

I have no sense of direction.. If I am out driving, I normally get lost...  It's no wonder my hubby freaks out  if I say -  Hey  I know a short cut   lol

Good one ha ha,but if we go outside 10 mile radius my Mrs sits with the map book on her lap.......and on the way back sits with the page open Upside Down ! even although I know the way home...Do you think she trusts me ???....