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Ask a Psychopath


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#31    regi

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Posted 06 July 2012 - 11:56 AM

Hum...observation: An admitted liar and manipulator- who claims a dx. of psychopath- has agree to take questions.
I'll pass for what I hope are obvious reasons.


#32    regi

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Posted 06 July 2012 - 12:06 PM

View PostQuiteContrary, on 05 July 2012 - 11:26 PM, said:

One of our adopted children is a sociopath or maybe even a psychopath.

His entire life can be summed up as a guy who has never spoken to his neighbor in 5 years until he decides he needs his neighbor’s chain saw. So he waits to catch him outside and strikes up a “friendly” conversation with his neighbor so he can ask to borrow it. This sociopath is a “friendly” “charming” fellow so the neighbor feels free talking to him and tells a lot about himself. The sociopath files all this away for future reference to use his neighbor again.

We all might think “So what? Haven’t we all done that to borrow something or get something?”

But this is his entire world. It is how he makes life work for him. This "neighbor" in my example represents every single human in his life. We are objects to our son. He is a chronic liar and manipulator. He has no remorse when he has physically hurt someone or some animal.

Not being able to connect to him except on a very superficial level is heartbreaking. To be lied to and never know which end is up from him is frustrating. To hear of him with a new girlfriend, or a new pet is downright frightening. Seeing his current flame head over heels for him and believing he actually loves her is difficult and fearful.

He has never had therapy and not learned how to be a successful adult as he is.
We love him and can’t help him. We can’t trust him. We can’t allow him alone with our pets or his sister.

It took us 4 years to figure out what we were dealing with, how serious his behavioral issues were. He is an artist at manipulating people and had many years to study people being in and out of foster homes for years.

Anyway, sorry for the rambling but I really do have  questions:
Help?  Some insight? Some directions for dealing with him?  How do you "feel loved"? How might he prefer to be dealt with?
That's too many questions, so anything would be helpful.
PS He is an adult and does not live at home or even near us. But we are in contact with him frequently.

I think you're in control as much as one can be and that's because you're armed with the knowledge of what it is you're up against, whereas many people live a lifetime with a sociopath and never know it because they don't recognize what it is.
The world is full of sociopaths, it's just a matter of degree.


#33    Super-Fly

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Posted 06 July 2012 - 12:34 PM

i dont know what to think of this,

is it a professional diagnosis?
is there medication availible, if so do you take anythink?

ta!

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#34    regi

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Posted 06 July 2012 - 01:11 PM

View PostSuper-Fly, on 06 July 2012 - 12:34 PM, said:

i dont know what to think of this,

is it a professional diagnosis?


Excellent question which should have been the first one asked. It took 33 posts.


#35    Super-Fly

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Posted 06 July 2012 - 01:31 PM

View Postregi, on 06 July 2012 - 01:11 PM, said:

Excellent question which should have been the first one asked. It took 33 posts.

we got there in the end!!


all this seems somewhat, strange? for lack of beter word. maybe because its done over the net

ill look forward to the reply

thanks OP.

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#36    Q-C

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Posted 06 July 2012 - 02:22 PM

View Postregi, on 06 July 2012 - 12:06 PM, said:

I think you're in control as much as one can be and that's because you're armed with the knowledge of what it is you're up against, whereas many people live a lifetime with a sociopath and never know it because they don't recognize what it is.
The world is full of sociopaths, it's just a matter of degree.

Yes, you are probably right. I just always hope for someway to reach him. As I said he doesn't know how to live successfully and to have a relationship with your child that is basically a dead one, keeps us looking for answers.

View PostSuper-Fly, on 06 July 2012 - 01:31 PM, said:

we got there in the end!!


all this seems somewhat, strange? for lack of beter word. maybe because its done over the net

ill look forward to the reply

thanks OP.

I agree. And I didn't join UM for psychiatric advice. Yet if my son had a serious disease and I saw a post on UM about it. I would definitely read the thread and ask questions. And I'd admit his illness without shame. It is the same for my son's situation. However, it would be foolish of me to not consider the source of any advice. But sometimes you never know what you mind find.

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#37    Anomy91

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Posted 06 July 2012 - 02:36 PM

Looks like our psychopath didn't much like the attention he was getting.

Psychopaths may seem fascinating like Hannibal Lector in that movie ,Silence of the Lambs, but in reality they are just parasites. They tend too think they have superior intellect which enable them too manipulate people without them knowing it. But sooner or later people tend to realize that this person is constantly lying, and when you really start knowing the person you tend too read them quite well and able to predict their modus operandi. Such a person can be such an annoyance, that talking or working with the person is on the edge of unbearable. It is mostly attributed too the fact that they undermine your intellect whilst stealing, copying your hard work and then taking recognition for it. And you sure as hell can't trust them with anything (any one).

I am sorry too burst the bubble but that's just how things are.


#38    JonathanVonErich

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Posted 06 July 2012 - 02:45 PM

View PostAnomy91, on 06 July 2012 - 02:36 PM, said:

I am sorry too burst the bubble but that's just how things are.

That's your opinion, not a fact.

Myself, being a student in Criminology, I think it's a fascinating topic and I think we need to learn more about these people. I agree, some psychopaths might not be reliable, but to say that all of them are constantly lying is wrong. It's the same thing about Serial Killers; some of them are lying all the time, others are a little bit more honest. It's always a gamble when you're dealing with these type of person. There's so many different type of psychopath that putting all of them in one bag is a huge mistake. That's how I see it.


#39    Eldorado

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Posted 06 July 2012 - 02:57 PM

Are you armed and do you stay anywhere near me?


#40    Order66

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Posted 06 July 2012 - 05:10 PM

View PostQuiteContrary, on 06 July 2012 - 12:48 AM, said:

Imo, that is the problem, "let's hide things in the closet, you might hurt someone's feelings". I say get it out, search it out. Whatever it takes.

Walk through life with a sociopathic or psychopathic son and see how desperate you become.

His feelings won't be hurt. I would pay the price not him.

I agree it's good to learn, but the problem I see is this: I could say for example my ex is not as emotionally developed as I am, or my ex does hurtful things but feels no guilt about it. If you heard me say that, you might be inclined to take it with a grain as a salt as I might only be giving my side of the story. But if I use a term like sociopath, then suddenly it sounds scientific and objective when you might very well just be getting a one-sided version of events.

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#41    Super-Fly

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Posted 06 July 2012 - 05:35 PM

View PostQuiteContrary, on 06 July 2012 - 02:22 PM, said:

I agree. And I didn't join UM for psychiatric advice. Yet if my son had a serious disease and I saw a post on UM about it. I would definitely read the thread and ask questions. And I'd admit his illness without shame. It is the same for my son's situation. However, it would be foolish of me to not consider the source of any advice. But sometimes you never know what you mind find.

yeah, i have asked questions, and i do agree it does have the makings to become quite interesting, but for me the way in which it is being done is somwhat strange to me.

thanks,

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#42    Mr Right Wing

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Posted 06 July 2012 - 05:38 PM

View PostSuper-Fly, on 06 July 2012 - 05:35 PM, said:

yeah, i have asked questions, and i do agree it does have the makings to become quite interesting, but for me the way in which it is being done is somwhat strange to me.

thanks,

Yes this debate is actually about the OP trying to convince people he's psycho when he isnt.


#43    Super-Fly

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Posted 06 July 2012 - 05:45 PM

View PostMr Right Wing, on 06 July 2012 - 05:38 PM, said:

Yes this debate is actually about the OP trying to convince people he's psycho when he isnt.

it did come to mind, but id like to see how things play out!

thanks,,

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#44    wolfknight

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Posted 06 July 2012 - 06:30 PM

What makes you so different? What sets you off into a Psychopathic rage?


#45    Q-C

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Posted 06 July 2012 - 07:09 PM

View PostVein Capital, on 06 July 2012 - 05:10 PM, said:

I agree it's good to learn, but the problem I see is this: I could say for example my ex is not as emotionally developed as I am, or my ex does hurtful things but feels no guilt about it. If you heard me say that, you might be inclined to take it with a grain as a salt as I might only be giving my side of the story. But if I use a term like sociopath, then suddenly it sounds scientific and objective when you might very well just be getting a one-sided version of events.

Yes, that is true for everything we hear.  And you may look at everything that way. And considering both sides is very often a good outlook, but not always.

In fact, in certain situations it can be detrimental, when it gets stuck there and prohibits a diagnosis, progress or solutions.

I know what my son is from hours with multiple psychiatrists and psychologists and police and human resource personnel and my hours of research. The only thing we don't know is was he born this way or created by his environment.

I will keep searching for answers in my offensively bold way.

And maybe end up with something one day.

Edited by QuiteContrary, 06 July 2012 - 07:09 PM.

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