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I'm really starting to become doubtful...


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#1    skydivingstars

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Posted 03 November 2012 - 03:18 AM

I apologize in advance because this may be kind of a long post. but I could really use some help. I started becoming very interested in the paranormal after my dad passed away when I was 19. I'm 26 now and for all this time, I keep hoping that I see something, feel something...to just get some kind of sign or proof of an afterlife. The only experience I've had was once on the queen mary, I almost passed out in the boiler room, I became very faint and started swaying back and forth, I had to grab onto my godfather and as on as I left the room, I was fine. The tour guide said that some people have that feeling in that room. That was the only thing that could have been perceived as 'paranormal'. I am incredibly disappointed because other spots that are supposedly haunted, I've been to, some more than once, and I've seen and felt nothing.

I'm starting to become so, so discouraged. I want to believe in an afterlife, I want to believe that my dad went somewhere where he's happy, I want to experience the afterlife while I'm still on this side. I want to be able to make contact or just see something, anything, but I can't seem to discover anything.

My husband just keeps saying that once you die, that's it. there's nothing else after this. For whatever reason, I refuse to believe that.

Am I just too desperate to see something? If I stop hoping, stop researching, then will I finally get what I'm looking for?

I feel so let down because I had such high hopes and no matter what I do, I get nothing.

What do I do? Ouji boards are out, I know better than to try one of those but I am definitely open to suggestions here.  


#2    Bracket

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Posted 03 November 2012 - 03:23 AM

Well, the reason why it's paranormal is because it can't be proven. You will never find proof of an afterlife. That's what belief is, it's not about finding proof.

Although, this is coming from a skeptic. :unsure2:

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#3    lsra

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Posted 03 November 2012 - 04:15 AM

That's the definition of faith: belief in something in the absence of proof.  My mother passed when I was 11 and I too waited for something, anything.  It never happened.  At this point, I wont say I believe in an afterlife since I have no proof, but I'm not totally giving up on it either.  If you wait for absolute proof, you will most likely just be disappointed. Just live life as best you can, everyone finds out the truth in the end.


#4    Timonthy

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Posted 03 November 2012 - 04:51 AM

I'm not sure you'll find solace looking to the paranormal. You may never have any experience that convinces you of an afterlife.
You need to work out if it's worth searching for something you might never find. You need to work out if it's beneficial to you.
Your feelings are normal of course, it's hard to accept losing someone and I haven't lost anyone that close, but it might be worth trying accept and be content with the fact you might not find what you're looking for.

What you choose to do is ultimately up to you, and there are no set instructions on how to get through something like this, but this part of life is inevitable.

I would just say please don't let people take advantage of your want to find proof of an afterlife.

And I'm not saying there's nothing after death, there could be, but while we're all here we will probably never know...

(And please don't take offense to anything I've said, nothing is meant in a negative way at all and you don't have to agree with it)

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#5    Insaniac

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Posted 03 November 2012 - 04:55 AM

Unless you get into the Occult (which I don't truly recommend), you may never experience what you seek.

However, if you have an opportunity to stay at England , there are many haunted places over here, ranging from century-old Pubs to old Castles.

I wish you the best of luck in locating what you seek.

"He is wise in heart and mighty in strength. Who has hardened their heart against Him, and succeeded"? ~ Job 9:4

#6    with bells on

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Posted 03 November 2012 - 04:56 AM

the actual truth of what it is, thats around us, is so weird that no wonder most people are blind to it all.. its so multi layered.. in multi worlds, multi dimensions, multi timelines, parallel universes and on and on.. most people wouldn't cope with seeing it all..

if your one day meant to see it, you will.. don't worry about it.. believing blindly in something isn't that smart.. i wouldn't and didn't believe in the stuff i know to be fact until i saw it for my own eyes.. get into yoga or qigong or something that works with opening you up and removing the blindfold we are all born with (mostly).. there is a negative alien agenda on this world.. we are all mind controlled. everything is manipulated and distorted.. especialy religion..

find a gifted medium and go and see one.. that may provide the proof you need.. ?? when you start doing all your inner work, the outer world stuff opens up..



#7    Bling

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Posted 03 November 2012 - 05:15 AM

Firstly, I'm sorry you feel such angst and grief. I'm not religious but I believe in the spirit world as I have witnessed poltergeist activity. If you feel comfort in believing your dad has gone to heaven then embrace it, but I sense you are confused. The truth is none of us know the answers for sure . All I could suggest is that if its what you really want, and it will make you happy, then keep exploring the paranormal because it may hold answers you hope for. I wish you luck and would like to know how you get on.

Edited by Bling, 03 November 2012 - 05:17 AM.


#8    Redefining Success

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Posted 03 November 2012 - 05:40 AM

I can only agree with the others, but will add your husband seems to be a bit of a heartless SOB. Sorry if thats a little harsh.

Just because you havent experienced anything, doesnt mean there isnt an afterlife, and it certainly doesnt mean you wont ever experience anything.

Ive just spent 20 minutes in my garage looking for a set of keys, couldnt see them because I was looking TOO hard.

Dont be dis heartened, take a step back what you are looking for will come to you.

If what I type offends you, don't see it as an attack, but as my opinion.

#9    Simbi Laveau

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Posted 03 November 2012 - 06:06 AM

Agreed with many of the above posts . If you are not predisposed to being "sensitive" ,you may never see anything. That is no ones fault ,and I'm sorry you are so discouraged .
If you are not into the occult,I also do not recommend doing so . It's A burden in some ways .

Given how long ago your dad died ,he may have also crossed over . They do not make the same kind of contact once they've gone .
However,dreams can connect you .
I suggest asking aloud ,directing it to your dad,for him to please come talk to you . Pay attention to dreams .

If nothing ever happens ,don't feel badly .Some people just dont "see".
It's why we have believers and skeptics . We both have a different predisposition . Skeptics think we are nuts ,and we get bored listening to them telling us we are all mental patients ,as none of this exists .
What can ya do .


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#10    Domina Lucis

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Posted 03 November 2012 - 06:09 AM

My advice?

The paranormal, in my opinion, is something that is extremely hard to explain or prove. It simply up to the person who sees it and their perspective.

Try not to take things too seriously. Try to have a little fun with it. And if you truly believe in the paranormal, jut have faith. Though again, I wouldn't have too high expectations or too much faith. You might get disappointed.

Hope you find what you're looking for.

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#11    Ninhursag

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Posted 03 November 2012 - 03:10 PM

View Postskydivingstars, on 03 November 2012 - 03:18 AM, said:



I'm starting to become so, so discouraged. I want to believe in an afterlife, I want to believe that my dad went somewhere where he's happy, I want to experience the afterlife while I'm still on this side. I want to be able to make contact or just see something, anything, but I can't seem to discover anything.

My husband just keeps saying that once you die, that's it. there's nothing else after this. For whatever reason, I refuse to believe that.

Am I just too desperate to see something? If I stop hoping, stop researching, then will I finally get what I'm looking for?

I feel so let down because I had such high hopes and no matter what I do, I get nothing.



That's why it is called "the afterlife". You'll find the whole truth once you get there.

~ Nothing In Nature Is By Chance... Something Appears To Be Chance Only Because Of Our Lack Of Knowledge. - Brauch De Spinoza ~

#12    lauralou

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Posted 03 November 2012 - 03:29 PM

my husband received a phone call from his mother 3 days after her death.  we could not believe what was happening.  she had lived in a care home for 5 years, unable to cummunicate as she suffered from dimentia (sp).   the caller id displayed her name as the incoming caller.  when we answered the phone there was nothing but static-y noise and we could hear a faint voice calling my husband's name.  after a few incredulous minutes of trying to comprehend this, we just laughed it off as coincidence..

we were later intrigued by the thought that this event may have really happened, so we sought to understand by contacting the lady who was in charge on his mothers's care.  she informed us that it was impossible for his mother to speak in the last few years of her life, and she had never owned a cellphone.  i got the impression she thought we were kidding around, and we pretty much forgot all about it.

However....... 2 to 3 months later wew received another call identical to the one right after her passing.  Everything exactly the same, just as before.  We stayed on the line for a long time, trying to keep the connection.  We hung up, andf tried to call the number that had come through our phone.  "  the number you are trying to reach is currently out of order or does not exist" !!

4 years later .  we have nver heard from her again.  whre are you mom?  please call again.


#13    moonshadow60

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Posted 03 November 2012 - 08:25 PM

Maybe the reason you have not seen or heard anything is because as you and others have said, you are frantically trying to hear and see something.  You need to slow down and listen, be aware of your surroundings.  It could be your very desperation that is hindering you.  Have you ever tried yoga or meditation? Take the time to breathe.

Edited by moonshadow60, 03 November 2012 - 08:29 PM.


#14    coldethyl

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Posted 03 November 2012 - 10:05 PM

View Postskydivingstars, on 03 November 2012 - 03:18 AM, said:

I'm starting to become so, so discouraged. I want to believe in an afterlife, I want to believe that my dad went somewhere where he's happy,
What do I do?

You believe that.  Believe that with all your being and your dad is somewhere where he is happy.  No one, not even your husband can take that from you.

You don't have to be 'special' and experience something.  You get up every morning and look in the mirror and tell yourself, "My dad is somewhere happy."  All it takes.

Good luck.  :tu:


#15    JGirl

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Posted 03 November 2012 - 10:27 PM

faith in something isn't about waiting a certain amount of time for your beliefs to be shown as fact. actually it is the opposite.
both my father and my son have left this earth now, and i've heard from neither of them but i still know in my heart that they are where they're supposed to be, where ever that may be, and i am right where i'm supposed to be.





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