It was on a breezy, yet warm September afternoon that I'd decided to take a different route back to my apartment after having had a late lunch downtown. I'd left my work scattered on the table and the only thing on my mind as I hurried through the crowd was the thought of my cat jumping on my papers and playfully ruining months of work. I did my best to avoid contact with any of the other pedestrians in hopes of being on time to prevent my imagined personal disaster. Having been so lost in thought, there was no way I could have foreseen the event that would soon change my life forever.
We were ten steps away when I first saw her walking towards me. I don't know what it was that made me look in her direction, but from that moment on I couldn't keep my eyes off of her. Maybe it was the way that the breeze flowed through her hair, reminding me of some gorgeous model being photographed for a fashion layout. Or maybe it was the way she moved so gracefully, like a young tigress on the prowl; cool and restrained, yet ready to pounce in the blink of an eye. Whatever the reason, I quickly forgot all about my work being at the mercy of my mischievous cat.
Nine steps closer, my mind, in it's feeble attempt to describe her, began to fill with unbelievably cheesy words like "angelic" and "seraphic," and worst of all "goddess." I almost felt embarrassed as I imagined her reading my tragic attempt at writing her poetry. Though I was working diligently in hopes of someday being a prolific writer, romantic versification was far and away my weakest talent, and the last thing I would want is to hear her laugh at my corny, grade school level rhymes.
Eight steps away I began to feel a little apprehensive. I had only just seen her for the first time a few mere seconds before, yet I felt compelled to make contact with her somehow. The speed in which I began to sort through my options was astonishing. Should I simply walk up to her and introduce myself, or would she consider that move much too intrusive? Would it be better if I made up some excuse, like asking her for directions or inquiring if she had the time? And what if in my haste and indecision I were to stutter or just blurt out the wrong words? I envisioned a million things going wrong, all of them due to my sudden uncharacteristic infatuation turning me into a bumbling idiot.
But by the seventh step, however, all that had changed. I began to imagine that I had stuttered when I spoke with her for the first time, and thankfully, instead of being put out by my clumsiness, she had found that cute and endearing. I quickly pictured her smiling at me and reaching out to touch me to let me know that she found me interesting. From there, it was easy to see our simple awkward introduction evolving into a playful, and perhaps flirtatious chat.
I watched her carefully when we were six steps away from each other. It was then that I had realized I had been staring at her the whole time, completely lost in her alluring presence. Luckily she hadn't noticed and become upset, thinking that I might be some kind of stalker. I looked away for a moment, trying to appear as casual as possible, but my eyes couldn't help but be drawn to her and once again I was watching her every move. The closer she got the more beautiful she appeared to be. Though I couldn't tell the color of her eyes from this distance, I wanted them to be gazing at me lovingly. I desperately wanted to be kissing her lips and holding her close in a lover's embrace.
Only five steps away I was already imagining being an important part of her life. I would always be there for her; my only aim being to make her happy in whatever way she wanted or needed. And because of this, she would ceaselessly inspire me to write the most brilliant works of my life. We would travel together and spend our time at the most beautiful and exotic locations the world has to offer. In an instant, I began wondering what her voice sounded like.
Four steps apart from each other, her voice - in my mind anyway - was a sound that I could not live without. I imagined her having the cutest, sexiest laugh I'd ever heard. Even when she was being serious her voice would have a seductive quality that would make me listen with intense interest to every word she had to say. And, of course, the best part would be when we were being intimate...
I nearly stumbled when we were three steps away, and this jolted me back to reality. I had wasted too much time fantasizing and hadn't decided on what I was going to say to her. Then a troubling thought occurred to me; in a worse case scenario, what if instead of just ignoring me she were to think that I was harassing her? I wanted her attention so badly, yet I still had no idea how to go about getting it. I didn't want to appear like an arrogant ass, nor did I want to sound like some weird guy with a speech impediment. What should I do?
At two steps away I had quickly made my decision. I would step over and say something like, "Excuse me, but could you tell me the best way to get to the river walk?" In my mind that sounded like the perfect ice breaker. Afterward, I could start a conversation with her, maybe ask if she likes the river walk or some other outdoor activity. It wouldn't really matter. The point would be just to get her attention, then take it from there.
One more step and I would make my move. I would be speaking with the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen and she in return would be making my life complete. By this time I not only wanted her, I needed her. I never knew how blind I was until I saw her that day. I wasn't even aware of my own bitter loneliness; a hellish caliginosity of an existence that I had come to accept as a life. I could revel in her. I could share my entire life with her, giving her all that I have to give and more. I could love her forever.
At last, the moment of truth arrived. I was suave and sophisticated. I was self assured, but not overbearing. I would display a mastery of the English language that would charm her right into my arms.
But just as I was about to speak, she looked over at me with her beautiful, soulful eyes and smiled. My mind completely froze. Everything I had planned to say vanished irretrievably into some cruel, unfathomable abyss. I wanted desperately to blurt out something, anything, but the words wouldn't come. This was perhaps my one and only chance to speak with the woman who would make my world blissfully complete and there I was, throwing it all away. Though my outward appearance didn't show it, my mind was quickly becoming a jumbled, panicky mess.
Then, I heard her say hello in a voice more beautiful than I had imagined. With a sheepish grin, I looked into her gorgeous eyes and replied, "Hi."
And sadly, that was all. We just kept on walking further and further apart until we were out of each other's sight. For many years after I would walk down that same street at the same time each day, hoping to see her again, but she was never there. That was more than forty years ago, yet it's still fresh in my mind as though it had happened just yesterday. I eventually went on to write a number of best selling novels, and even became the owner of a very successful publishing company. I never married, and I have no heirs to leave my fortune to, but I made sure that my wealth will be distributed to various charities.
Once in a while, I'll hobble down that particular street with my cane, hoping that maybe I'll see her again. I know that my chances of meeting her are slim to none, but I won't let myself think that. I'm aware that a lot of time has passed, and that she would be much older now, but in my eyes, she would still be as beautiful as the day I first saw her. I lived an entire life time with her in just those ten steps down a crowded street, so when I see her again, I'm sure that I'll say a lot more to her than just hi.
Edited by Sapphire Blue, 21 November 2012 - 03:59 PM.