I have come to the conclusion that there are aspects of myself that will always be a tad wild and out of control. Over long years of hit and miss I have come to the realization that all I can do is love those little devils and stop fighting them. I just offer them to the Lord and they seem to quiet down a bit. I suppose we all have thorns in our side that keeps us seeking inner balance. Maybe they are needed. There are times when I panic, then I look to the Lord and say, well here I go again, glad I can offer this to you. Whatever is good comes from you, your gift to me, well, all I have to offer is my struggle, inner pain, and my unbelief and doubt....and to my surprise, always, you take them and heal me just a little more. Trust is getting easier, though still an uphill climb.