34 replies to this topic

[Still Waters]

The Catholic Church has established an exorcist hotline in Milan, its biggest diocese, to cope with demand. Monsignor Angelo Mascheroni, the diocese’s chief exorcist since 1995, said the curia had also appointed twice as many exorcists to cope with a doubling in the number of requests for help over 15 years.

“We get many requests for names, addresses and phone numbers; that’s why we’ve set up a switchboard in the curia from Monday to Friday from 2.30pm to 5pm,” he told the chiesadimilano website.

“People in need can call and will be able to find a priest in the same area who doesn’t have to travel too far.” And to that end, the number of demon-busting priests on call has increased from six to 12.

http://www.independe...nd-8368988.html

[Colonel Rhuairidh]

kind of irresistably brings to mind "Who you gonna call? Ghostbusters", doesn't it.

[Daughter of the Nine Moons]

This title just tickled my funny bone

[Darkwind]

"Hello exorcist hotline, could you get this demon out of my house he is drinking all my beer."

[RedSquirrel]

Thank you for calling the Exorcist helpline, sponsored by the Milan center for rational dissonance.

Alright, it looks like you were complaining about a type three demonic entity, please press 1 if that is correct.
This call may be recorded for quality assurance.
We are now connecting you with an exorcist, after the call, please stay on the line for a customer review (You may be charged a $2.99 fee per minute, depending on your salvation level)

Hello, my name is Father Frank and I'll be your exorcist today.
On a scale of 1 to 5, 1 being least comfortable and 5 being most; How safe do you feel in your house now?
Mmm Hmm, o.k. let me just write this down.

O.k., how do you feel about your current religious coverage in the local area?

Yes, I understand that the last question has little to do with your issue, but it is on the paper that I have to read from, I assure you, the Church has your best interest in mind.

O.k. I need you to find the Demon's name, you can try flipping him over and looking near the ventral slit, if it is a reptilian, if it is a non-reptilian, please check your (Holy) handbook.

Just to be sure, your demon's numbers were: 0066601120, is that correct?

O.k. your demon's name is Pazuzu, also known as Captain Howdy. We'll need and old priest and a young one. Please hold.......


EDIT: Captain, not mr.... Sheesh.

Edited by RedSquirrel, 01 December 2012 - 07:16 PM.

[Sakari]

Bienvenido a la católica exorcista Hotline.Si usted desea escuchar esto en Inglés pulse 1.

[markdohle]

People do laugh about these things, until the impossible happens to them.  All over the world 'demonic' activity is reported, not only now but all through history.  Though a hot line does seem a bit absurd, if truth be told.  However in an age when unbelief in these kinds of things is rampant, it may cause an upsurge since people can get involved in things that can harm them and do not know how to protect themselves.  Many of our ideas about the unreality of the spritrual may in fact be what is crazy and out of touch.

http://www.newadvent...then/05709a.htm

[Bling]

If I ever get possessed the last place I'd look for help would be the Catholic church. Who would I turn to?.....someone not connected to religion otherwise I wouldn't believe a word they said and the exorcism wouldn't work. But atheists rarely get possessed right?

[Sakari]

Bling, on 01 December 2012 - 09:36 PM, said:

If I ever get possessed the last place I'd look for help would be the Catholic church. Who would I turn to?.....someone not connected to religion otherwise I wouldn't believe a word they said and the exorcism wouldn't work. But atheists rarely get possessed right?

No they do not.....

If you do not " believe ", then they do not come a knocking.

[Bling]

Sakari, on 01 December 2012 - 10:04 PM, said:

No they do not.....

If you do not " believe ", then they do not come a knocking.

Yay! Another good reason to be an atheist! But that's not very encouraging for believers though is it?

[markdohle]

Bling, on 01 December 2012 - 09:36 PM, said:

If I ever get possessed the last place I'd look for help would be the Catholic church. Who would I turn to?.....someone not connected to religion otherwise I wouldn't believe a word they said and the exorcism wouldn't work. But atheists rarely get possessed right?

I don't know ;-),  I guess if they don't believe they could be more vunerable if they get involved with something occult.  Actually the Catholic church is one of the best places to go, lots of experiences.  It is not a perfect organaztion, but there are many, who are not in power, who are really good, holy people who do a lot of good.

Peace
mark

Edited by markdohle, 01 December 2012 - 11:44 PM.

[markdohle]

Bling, on 01 December 2012 - 10:05 PM, said:

Yay! Another good reason to be an atheist! But that's not very encouraging for believers though is it?

There is evil in our seen and felt world, as well as in the spiritual world….perhaps the division is arbitrary and it is all one world ….not believing is not always a protection.  Though few are bothered by these kinds of things, even those who get involved with the occult, some people have certain sensitivities and so can get caught up in it I guess.  I know a priest who has done this kind of thing and he does like to talk about it.  He told me:  “when the impossible happens before you, the mind shuts down and only fear rises up”.  He no longer does exorcisms.  Before the experience he did not believe such things were possible, just as many Catholics do today.  Again, I hope you never have to go through something like this.

[with bells on]

Bling, on 01 December 2012 - 09:36 PM, said:

If I ever get possessed the last place I'd look for help would be the Catholic church. Who would I turn to?.....someone not connected to religion otherwise I wouldn't believe a word they said and the exorcism wouldn't work. But atheists rarely get possessed right?

the last place i would go to is Catholic Church too.. eek!! and im sure 3/4 of those people thinking they are possessed aren't..

but from my experience whether or not you believe in anything has nothing to do with it.. most people that are possessed, have no clue they are.. look around.. its a jungle out there..

Edited by with bells on, 01 December 2012 - 11:55 PM.

[markdohle]

with bells on, on 01 December 2012 - 11:54 PM, said:

the last place i would go to is Catholic Church too.. eek!! and im sure 3/4 of those people thinking they are possessed aren't..

but from my experience whether or not you believe in anything has nothing to do with it.. most people that are possessed, have no clue they are.. look around.. its a jungle out there..

It is diffiucult to get permission from the church for an exorcism.  Lots of medical tests have to be done before it is allowed.  You are right, lots of people who need medical help.

Peace
mark

[MysticStrummer]

Sakari, on 01 December 2012 - 10:04 PM, said:

No they do not.....

If you do not " believe ", then they do not come a knocking.

You're better off sticking with your usual method and saying no one gets possessed, Sakari. There are in fact accounts of atheists being possessed and then exorcised, so apparently belief isn't necessarily a prerequisite for whatever the condition is, mental or spiritual.