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Is It OK For the Girl to Propose?


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#1    Hasina

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Posted 03 December 2012 - 08:59 PM

Is It OK For the Girl to Propose? No Way, Study Suggests

Despite loosening of gender roles at work and in society as a whole, men and women are remarkably traditional when it comes to marriage, new research finds.
In fact, the study of college students at a liberal-leaning university found that not a single man or woman wanted a proposal in which the woman asked the man to marry her. And while 60 percent of women said they were "very willing" or "somewhat willing" to change their surname to their husband's upon marriage, 64 percent of men said they were "very unwilling" or "somewhat unwilling" to do the same for their wives.
"These topics are something that most people deal with and that most people decide to do in a traditional way," said study researcher Rachael Robnett, a graduate student in psychology at the University of California, Santa Cruz.

Source: http://www.livescien...e-marriage.html

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#2    supervike

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Posted 03 December 2012 - 09:05 PM

I guess I wouldn't have a problem if the woman proposed.  But, I really don't think I'd ever take my wife's name....

Strange how that works.


#3    Child of Bast

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Posted 03 December 2012 - 09:11 PM

I would definitely take my girlfriend's last name because then together our initials would be E & K G... or EKG. :w00t:

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#4    Kazoo

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Posted 03 December 2012 - 09:16 PM

I can't see myself proposing or getting proposed too.

I see me dating someone for a long time and us like eating pizza on the coach and one of us saying "we should get married" and other one saying "k. whatever"

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#5    ealdwita

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Posted 03 December 2012 - 09:20 PM

"Will you marry me darling ?"

(Representation of what I would hear as I head for the distant hills!)

"Gæð a wyrd swa hio scel, ac gecnáwan þín gefá!": "Fate goes ever as she shall, but know thine enemy!".
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#6    Sir Wearer of Hats

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Posted 03 December 2012 - 09:35 PM

I can't see why not, personally.
Mind you, I asked a girl to marry me once and she said I deserved better then her, I'm unable to read interpersonal signals at the best of times (too ASD) so if the girl took the iniative like that it'd probably be much easier on us both!

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#7    Insanity

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Posted 03 December 2012 - 09:39 PM

In some jurisdictions, anyone who gets married or divorced may change their name is they wish.  I was not permitted to take on the names of Gandalf or Thorin for some reason.

"We see things only as we are constructed to see them, and can gain no idea of their absolute nature. With five feeble senses we pretend to comprehend the boundlessly complex cosmos, yet other beings with wider, stronger, or different range of senses might not only see very differently the things we see, but might see and study whole worlds of matter, energy, and life which lie close at hand yet can never be detected with the senses we have." - H.P. Lovecraft, "From Beyond" Published 1934

#8    Ashotep

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Posted 03 December 2012 - 09:56 PM

I don't see anything wrong with it.


#9    CuriousGreek

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Posted 03 December 2012 - 10:07 PM

A marriage proposal from the girl is not something bad, in my opinion. If my girlfriend asks me to keep her surname after our marriage, i'd had no problem letting her keep it, but i really don't know, if i would take her surname...

Edited by CuriousGreek, 03 December 2012 - 10:07 PM.

Αν ανάμεσα σ’ όλον τον κόσμο,
νιώθεις πως δεν υπάρχουνε λύσεις,
τότε μόνο δυο μάτια μπορούνε,
να σε κάνουν να θέλεις να ζήσεις.

#10    Orcseeker

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Posted 04 December 2012 - 12:03 AM

I honestly believe it is the guys duty to ask a woman/girl all the facets of such things. It goes hand in hand with being able to protect and provide, as if the future wife gets pregnant, he can keep the family afloat while she is unable to work as an example.


#11    WoIverine

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Posted 04 December 2012 - 12:18 AM

was always more of a mutual thing with me, I guess. "Hey...what do you think about getting married?" Etc.


#12    little_dreamer

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Posted 04 December 2012 - 01:08 AM

Easier to blame it on the man if something goes wrong.  "It was your idea!"

Women are supposedly the ones who are pushing and hinting for marriage all the time.  it's the man who ususally has cold feet.  So if he proposes, then he really means it, I guess.

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#13    ZaraKitty

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Posted 04 December 2012 - 10:29 AM

I'd rather buy cats.

The internet is a series of tubes, and those tubes are full of cats.

#14    Jessica Christ

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Posted 04 December 2012 - 10:33 AM

It doesn't matter who asks since both parties still have to decide together ultimately.

As for a male taking on a female's surname, well that is not what is really happening, he would be taking her father's surname in all actuality. If we had a true system where both males and females passed down their own surnames it might be different but as of now the guy would just be taking some other older dude's surname.

 Orcseeker, on 04 December 2012 - 12:03 AM, said:

I honestly believe it is the guys duty to ask a woman/girl all the facets of such things. It goes hand in hand with being able to protect and provide, as if the future wife gets pregnant, he can keep the family afloat while she is unable to work as an example.

Females as primary breadwinners exist. Females who work while their partners are unable to exist. But I get your point.


#15    Orcseeker

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Posted 04 December 2012 - 01:52 PM

 I believe you, on 04 December 2012 - 10:33 AM, said:


Females as primary breadwinners exist. Females who work while their partners are unable to exist. But I get your point.

Oh yes I don't deny that, I hope I didn't come across as sexist or anything but women are the ones who get pregnant :P Some women enforce the man protecting them and providing for them notion, others take the helm.

I personally wouldn't want a woman to propose to me or anything of the sort. Usually Id go with the mutual decision but generally if I know them Id know how they would want it so that's how I'd do it accordingly. I don't think it's any real big deal but whatever makes them happy for some little kneeling action is ok with me.





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